Real Movie Review-Movie Reviews, Movie Quotes, Movie Trivia

Director: Dennis Dugan

Starring: Adam Sandler, John Turturro, Emmanuelle Chriqui

Adam Sandler co-wrote this explosion of muddled accents, weak characters and occasional humor, as he tries to make us laugh and give some kind of light plea for peace in the middle east. Fine supporting actor John Turturro seems a little lost here and Sandler plays a softer, gentler version of his stock leading man, but the comedy is pure Happy Madison slapstick.

Adam Sandler is a Mossad agent/super hero who makes James Bond look like Maxwell Smart. He fakes his own death to get out of the game so he can pursue his real dream of becoming a hairstylist in New York. There, his specialty of….ummm charming elderly women and offering much more in depth service than cutting and styling their hair. It’s silly and an overdone gag and is added to an evil landlord trying to force his boss, played by Emmanuelle Chriqui (a veteran of over a decade’s worth of work that you have probably never heard of ,and high on FHM’s 2008 list of sexiest women) to move. Things get more active when a trio of goofy terrorists recognize him, and when it turns out that the nemesis of his past life, The Phantom, (played by John Turturro) is also in New York. If it sounds like alot going on, it is, but it all leads to a gentle but awkward ending with a sentiment that’s easy to agree with.

You Don’t Mess With The Zohan is cinematic evidence that Adam Sandler is growing up…sort of. The humor is juvenile, but intermittently funny, and the writing is rough but the script shows a social conscience. Like most of Sandler’s efforts the story is weak, but filled with funny scenes of various effectiveness, that should please his fans, but probably won’t win him any new ones.

Director: Michael Patrick King

Starring: Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall, Kristin Davis, Cynthia Nixon, Chris Noth, Jennifer Hudson, David Eigenberg, Evan Handler, Jason Lewis

Well, as you might guess from my name, the Manhattan Movie Maniac, I’m not a TV guy. Sure I watch a game or reality show from time to time and know every Seinfeld like a fanatic, but generally speaking TV is not what I do. So, it should come as no surprise that I had never seen this show that seemed to enrapture female viewers for six seasons. The look is flashy and the dialog is crisp, but not particularly funny. The story is not real convincing and is packed with women going ape shit over clothes and accessories. I guess as an anti-materialistic, heterosexual male, this isn’t really supposed to make sense to me. The characters are fairly well-developed for a film of this kind, and my lack of familiarity with the TV show, didn’t leave me lost, but the male characters don’t get much attention from the busy script.

Sarah Jessica Parker, looking like she needs bucket therapy from KFC (Eat something! Have a doughnut for the love of God!) plays Carrie Bradshaw, a NYC writer with three perfect friends, who believes she has found the perfect man and the perfect apartment who now needs the perfect closet to house her collection of ridiculously overpriced clothes, justified by our media-driven corporate culture. Now she needs the perfect closet as a gift and wants the perfect wedding in this world where money means nothing. There are unconvincing complications along the way, of course, and lots of shots of the four girls having fun, and looking fabulous. The whole thing ends the way you think it will before you even sat through the montages.

Sex and The City is a flashy, but ultimately flat, tribute to people who think their lives should be self-indulgent fairy tales. There are few good lines, lots of shots of silly ‘fashion’ outfits and a neat reversal that has men as one dimensional accessories to the women’s lives. It wasn’t unpleasant to watch, but should be relegated to an add-on position on 2 for 1 video nights for those with an interest in the subject matter.

Director: Steven Spielberg

Starring: Harrison Ford, Cate Blanchett, Karen Allen, Shia LaBeouf , Ray Winstone, John Hurt

Well, Indy is looking alot older, but Harrison shows that he can still deliver the action goods in the fourth outing of the world’s most determined archeologist. The story is a bit light, and this is covered up by making it unclear, as well. The dialog is awkward at times, but Spielberg’s overblown (and seemingly endless) action scenes and campy humor still make this film fun. Ford has more big name back up, including Blanchett in a deliciously evil role. They shot for stars on this one and missed, but at least it didn’t crash back to Earth.

It’s 1957, and Indiana Jones is back as a war hero and part time professor, who finds himself kidnapped by an evil KGB agent played by Cate Blanchett who wants help figuring out the supernatural powers of an artifact that she’s just stolen. A few fistfights, a couple gunfights, a rocket car ride and a nuclear explosion later, Indy is free and off and running to solve the mystery before the Russians. In tow, he has a Marlon Brando style greaser named Mutt, played by Shia LaBeouf and in pursuit he has some FBI agents who thinks he’s a Russian spy (it is the McCarthy era 50s). There are plenty of mysteries to figure out, traps to duck and baddies to beat, on the way to an ending that needed more originality, but it is loud, fun and rocket-paced, so the action crowd will enjoy the ride.

Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is the second best of the four film Indy series, and comes closest to capturing the flavor of the original, but aging characters, a script that lets down in places and the nagging feeling that we have seen all this before keep it from approaching the lofty heights of its legendary mother film. nice try, though.

Director: Tom Vaughan

Starring: Ashton Kutcher, Cameron Diaz, Rob Corddry, Lake Bell, Jason Sudeikis, Queen Latifah, Dennis Farina

What Happens in Vegas is a mediocre formula film with a predictable formula story, stock characters right out of the screenwriters’ handbook, and ending that you see from two hours away and an over reliance on not-so comical fight scenes between men and women.

Ashton Kutcher is Jack, a fun, but aimless guy who can’t even hold a job when his father is the boss and Cameron Diaz is Joy, an successful, but uptight stock trader who can’t hold on to her man, even though she is a successful stock trader who looks like Cameron Diaz. Go figure. Anyway, these two both decide that the solution to their problems lies in a wild weekend trip with their friends, Hater (Rob Corddry) and Tipper (Lake Bell). The pairs are drawn together by fate and while Hater and Tipper zinging each other with insults, Jack and Joy have an alcohol-fueled evening of debauchery and marriage. Yup, they awake in Holy Matrimony and are all set to pursue an annulment when a 3 million dollar jackpot gets in the way. Now a fed up judge sentences then to ‘six months hard marriage’ and the story is off and limping.

What Happens in Vegas is funny in some spots and blandly interesting in others, but it is really too silly and predictable to stand out from the crowd, leaving it as the default choice for couples who can‘t agree on what they really want to see and teenagers who are young to know what they really want to see.

Director: David Mamet

Starring: Chiwetel Ejiofor, Alice Braga, Joe Mantegna, Emily Mortimer, Ricky Jay, Tim Allen

I love a good martial arts film. The problem with kick flicks is that it is so damn hard to find a good one and all too easy to find bad ones, which actually have an appeal all of their own, of course, but I still prefer a good one, so when twice Oscar nominated writer/director David Mamet made this mysterious motion picture about a martial arts instructor trying to keep his principals in a world that now relies mainly on the government to provide our morality, I was glad to see it. Ejiofor is subdued, but effective in the lead and Mamet‘s favored stiff, rhythmic dialog style for his performers is thankfully downplayed here. Mamet’s story is slow but engrossing and full of secrets and twists combined with bursts of pretty good fight action all leading to an appealing ending with equal parts of originality and corniness.

Chiwetel Ejiofor is Mike Terry, a skilled and traditional martial arts instructor with a struggling school and an exasperated wife, played by Alice Braga who wants Mike to use his skills as a professional mixed martial arts competitor. Things get more complicated after an incident at the school involving a cop student and a distraught female visitor. Next, Mike finds himself defending a movie star in a bar fight and the game is on. The tricky story is not always convincing, but it is always interesting. Look for lots of familiar faces, from Mamet’s posse of favored performers, and the fight world celebrities like Randy Couture to Hollywood personalities, including Tim Allen who has a supporting role as the aforementioned movie star.

David Mamet’s clever writing is always worth a watch and Red Belt is no exception. Kung fu fans will be glad to see the genre return to the big screen and those dragged along with them will be pleasantly surprised by a film with a great deal of interest and entertainment value.

Director: David Ayer

Starring: Keanu Reeves, Forest Whitaker, Chris Evans, Martha Higareda, Hugh Laurie, Cedric The Entertainer,

David Ayer, who wrote both Training Day and Dark Blue, is the director this time, for yet another film about police corruption. With an unconvincing script and Keanu Reeves and Chris Evans trying to carry roles like those handled by Denzel Washington and Ethan Hawke, this film was bound to be weaker…and it is. The plot starts out as rushed and convoluted, without proper character development, and becomes unraveled by the silly climax. There are some pretty good action scenes to keep you from thinking too much about the plot holes, however. That’s something.

Keanu Reeves is Tom Ludlow, a walking cliche. He is a smart-mouthed cop with an attitude and a drinking problem, hiding some past pain. Ludlow goes around finding particularly vile criminals (all minorities, but he tells us he isn’t racist) and killing them in shootouts that are then re-staged to look like good shoots, all with the backing of his boss, Jack Wander, and no one else. Internal affairs is a little curious about this and have turned his former partner into a snitch. The story gets silly when he is killed in a blatantly staged robbery while Tom is beside him. Instead of being relieved, Tom sets out to find the killers despite his own involvement and teams up with the investigator, Paul Diskant (Chris Evans from the Fantastic Four franchise). The action keeps up, but the ending lets down and should tell David Ayer he needs a new subject.

Street Kings is a bland cop buddy film that tries to fill plot holes with bullets, just as was done with Training Day, but with worse dialog and less compelling performers, this one goes down despite the hail of gunfire, leaving a corpse that will only interest die hard fans of the ailing cop/buddy genre.

Director: Jon Favreau

Starring: Robert Downey Jr., Terrence Howard, Jeff Bridges, Gwyneth Paltrow, Leslie Bibb, Faran Tahir, Shaun Toob

Little known director Jon Favreau (Elf) will be a more familiar name after smashing his way into the comic book genre with this fast-paced visual action intro to what is obviously intended to be an Iron Man series. The script, which has more writers than the bible, is witty and like the uber successful Spider-man trilogy, doesn’t get too serious. Robert Downey Jr. exudes cool charisma with a great performance in the title role and has some enviable back up from Gwyneth Paltrow and a really old-looking Jeff Bridges. The film is flashy and the action scenes could have been shorter and more plentiful. I have never seen more metallurgy scenes in any movie to date, but nonetheless excellent dialog and cool effects keep the viewers entertained while waiting for something big to happen.

Robert Downey Jr. is a billionaire boy genius in the defense industry named Tony Stark who seems to divide his time, albeit unequally, between making scientific breakthroughs and living a jet-setting rock star lifestyle until a business trip to Afghanistan sees him taken hostage by some vaguely motivated middle eastern bad guys. They force Stark, along with the help of fellow hostage, Yinsen (Shaun Toob from The Kite Runner) to build them one of his cutting edge missile systems, Jericho. Unfortunately for the soon-to-be-punished reprobates, Stark isn’t building them a missile system, but building himself a bullet-proof, powered suit to use to escape, which he does, of course. This turns out to be a life-changing experience for Stark, and he decides its time to give back a little to the world by becoming a super-hero. Well, that is one way. Wouldn’t it be easier and more helpful just to build a few hospitals and schools? It might, but it wouldn’t make an action-packed movie.

Iron Man flies into theaters as one off the best of the comic book genre films, thanks in equal parts to a sharp script and an impressive performance by Downey. Imagine Spider-man crossed with Robocop and then blended with the Transformers and you will have some idea of what to expect. Comic book fans and action lovers will flock to it and even a lukewarm, yawning and jaded movie veteran such as myself is looking forward to the next installment. Oh, and for a little foreshadowing of things to come, wait for the credits to end. There is a short little bonus scene.

Director: Nicholas Stoller

Starring: Jason Segal, Kristen Bell, Mila Kunis, Aldous Snow, Jonah Hill

Yes, penis lovers, rejoice, for there is another oh-so-funny ball-dropping event, thanks to Hollywood’s most prolific comedy creator, these days, Judd Apatow. Since leaving an illustrious TV career in 2003, producer Judd Apatow has come up with a formula for creating appealing comedy projects without the expense of big name performers or directors. Forgetting Sarah Marshall is the next car in Judd Apatow’s train to success. First time director Nicholas Stoller takes a pretty decent story with likable characters played by a largely unfamiliar cast and manages to make an enjoyable feature out of it all.

Jason Segal is Peter Bretter, a TV music score composer with a famous TV star girlfriend named Sarah Marshall (Kristen Bell). Yup, life is good for Peter. Well, at least until Sarah rips his life apart by dumping him for a rock star. God, I hate it when that happens. Anyway, Peter decides that a Hawaiian vacation is just the thing to take his mind off of his heartbreak. Unfortunately, after arriving, and meeting the beautiful desk clerk, Rachel (Mila Kunis), Peter finds out that the other guests include the rock star, Aldous Snow and his new squeeze, Sarah. Things pretty much progress just as you think they will from there, but there are some laughs along the way, including a neat scene where they talk about a film that Sarah’s character has just made. Her performer, Kristen Bell actually made a movie exactly like that.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall the girl might be tricky, but forgetting the movie probably won’t be. There is nothing new to offer here, but that is not to say its a bad movie. It isn’t. This is enjoyable familiar fare with pretty girls, funny guys and a few clever lines. What else can you ask from a Friday night film?

Director: Noam Murro

Starring: Dennis Quaid, Ellen Page, Sarah Jessica Parker, Thomas Hayden Church, Ashton Holmes

First time director Noam Murro does a commendable job in creating this amusing drama about socially malfunctioning people and those who love them. The story is a routine light romance about recovery from loss and family dynamics. The dialog is airy and enjoyable, and is helped by a talented cast, including the now acclaimed, Ellen Page. This film was made before Juno and was probably headed for a straight to video release before Page’s exploding fame made theatrical release a no-brainer. The characters are not always convincing, but the strengths of the film easily compensate.

Dennis Quaid is Lawrence Weatherhold, a struggling, self-absorbed widower, who is going through the motions with his two teenage children, including Vanessa (Ellen Page), an intellectually obsessed and socially challenged high school senior with a shield thick enough to defend the USS Enterprise. Lawrence finds possible romance with an emaciated physician named Janet (Sarah Jessica Parker), who should prescribe herself a couple buckets worth of KFC therapy. For some unfathomable reason, this former student finds herself attracted to the virtually unlovable Professor Weatherhold. Also stepping back into Weatherhold’s life, is his irresponsible and insolvent adopted brother, Chuck (Thomas Hayden Church), who seems like the only person capable of restoring this family to functionality. But can he do it?

Smart People is an entertaining but unremarkable film for fans of light romantic formula dramas. Page and Church are outstanding and have some good support, but the story is not wholly believable and this hurts its overall effect. The performances, refreshing characters and a few good jokes still make it a worthwhile cheap seat or video pick.

Smart People – movie quotes:

“Why would you have a baby with me?”
“Because you don’t know how to use a condom.” MMM – to paraphrase another film, “Chicks dig guys with skills (especially condom skills).

“These children haven’t been properly parented in many years. They’re practically feral. That’s why I was brought in.” MMM – this was the best line of the film, or would have been, if it wasn’t just in the trailer after being cut from the film in an editing boner.

Movie lines from Smart People

Director: Carter Smith

Starring: Jonathan Tucker, Jena Malone, Shawn Ashmore, Laura Ramsey, Joe Anderson

Novice director Carter Smith (Bugcrush) turns out an entertaining little suspense film based upon Scott B. Smith’s novel, and screenplay. This is the first screen work for Scott B. Smith since he turned his earlier novel, A Simple Plan into a script, as well. There is some strong tension here and the performances by the young, but experienced cast is impressive. The script is a little heavy on the gore and light on action, but mounting tension still keeps the viewer in the story, aided by likable and natural characters that will be easy for the film’s target audience of teens and twenty-somethings to identify with.

Two young couples are enjoying a leisurely beach and bar vacation in Mexico when they decide to have a little adventure, after meeting a friendly German tourist, Mathias (Joe Anderson from Across The Universe). Mathias is planning to head out the next day to join his brother in visiting an unknown ruins site. Enticed by seeing history that is unspoiled by tour buses and white-legged seniors, Jeff, Eric, Amy and Stacy (Jonathan Tucker, Jena Malone, Shawn Ashmore, Laura Ramsey) decide to join him, though a hung over Amy does so only reluctantly. After something of a trek, marred only by the ominous loss of a hat, they reach the impressive site. Unfortunately, some unfriendly locals show up and soon people are screaming, crying and dying. But why?

The Ruins was a better film than I expected it to be, mainly because of the character development which, though still lacking, is still far better than the complete absence of any development, which is common in features of this genre. The group is in a tough situation and I would have liked to see more about conflict within the group under this kind of pressure. Some more action would be welcome, too, but this is still an enjoyable suspense film that illustrates why you should always stick to resort approved excursions only.