Real Movie Review-Movie Reviews, Movie Quotes, Movie Trivia

Director: Kevin Munroe

Starring: Mikey Kelley, Sarah Micelle Gellar, Mako, Patrick Stewart,
Mitchell Whitfield, James Arnold Taylor, Nolan North, Laurence Fishburne,

The rental box for this piece of crap should be stamped with a large warning label: ‘For Children Only. May cause vomiting and suicidal thoughts for adults’. Except, of course, that the film’s violence has earned it a PG rating, so I’m not sure if parents would choose this for their kids, either. Well, the Turtles are back in a movie that looks so much like a video game that all it needs is the Sony PS3 logo. The acting is fine with such names as Patrick Stewart as villain, Max Winters and Laurence Fishburne as the narrator. The story is kindergarten simple and the dialog is on a par with the most mediocre Saturday morning efforts. There is less action that you would expect to find and the jokes don’t work. So what’s left?

The film starts with a 3,000-year-old back-story that ends with 13 monsters being released into the world. Meanwhile, old turtle friend April O’Neil sets out to find Leonardo who has been training alone in Central America. She convinces him to return to his family, which has been floundering in his absence. Isn’t the profound wisdom of Master Splinter enough to keep these guys on track? Anyways, he does return and after a bunch of squabbling, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles get back down to the business of making money- I mean fighting evil.

I can only guess that this mass marketing machine that lead off with a movie is aimed at youngsters and maybe at those who enjoyed the cartoons, movies and games from the last time these four were set upon the wallets of impressionable children and their helpless parents. There is nothing new to offer, here and what is re-hashed wasn’t interesting the first twenty times we saw it in movies exactly like this one.

Starring: Aaron Eckhart, J.K. Simmons, Cameron Bright, Katie Holmes,
William H. Macy, Robert Duvall

Director: Jason Reitman

Aaron Eckhart is Nick Naylor, a slick, fast thinking and faster talking spokesperson for the tobacco industry, and he is very good at his job. This is a great, intelligent comedy that earned my highest rating. It’s been out for a year and I’ve already seen it four times. Yes, it’s that good.
It got the one of the coolest opening songs I’ve heard in awhile, and that is just the beginning of great, understated comedy that has you still giggling about scenes long after they are over. It starts with Nick on the Joan Lunden show going up against various representatives of non-smoking organizations and their visual aide; a bald teenager with lung cancer. It is this show that puts Naylor in the crosshairs of a Vermont Senator played to perfection by William H. Macy. He also becomes the target of a seductive reporter played by Katie Holmes and meets regularly with friends from the alcohol and gun industries. They cleverly refer to themselves as the M.o.d. Squad (merchants of death). There are too many priceless scenes to repeat here and I would just ruin them if I tried to relate them, anyway.
It was one of the best pictures of 2006. Got some attention from the Golden Globes but I guess the cheque that was supposed to accompany the screening copy to the Academy fell behind a desk somewhere, because this gem was nowhere to be seen on Oscar night. What a shame.

Director: Tom Hanks

Starring: Tom Everett Scott, Liv Tyler, Johnathon Schaech, Steve Zahn, Ethan Embry, Tom Hanks, Charlize Theron, Obba Babatunde

That Thing You Do, written, directed and co-starring the versatile Tom Hanks, is one of those comedies that holds an inexplicable appeal for me. The simple story is clean and well-written with wonderfully, appealing characters performed by a talented, young cast, that included Liv Tyler on the verge of stardom. Add this to a snappy, 60s style Oscar-nominated song and all the elements are there for a feel-good movie that I can happily watch a couple times a year.

Guy Patterson (Tom Everett Scott) is spending 1964 selling appliances in his Dad’s store, and playing jazz music on his drums in the basement, until his friend Lenny (Steve Zahn) recruits him to join a band for a local talent show. Along with lead singer, Jimmy, (Johnathon Schaech), his stunning girlfriend, Faye (Liv Tyler) and a hopeless bass player, the Oneders are on the brink of a special time. They follow Guy’s input, and win the show. Things really take off when they are signed by Mr. White (Tom Hanks) for Playtone records and soon the whole group is on a crazy, rock n’ roll, roller coaster ride, but when things fly up so fast, can avoid a crash?

This is an excellent, light drama/comedy with natural characters and catchy tunes to go with a sixties musical fable. I consider this to be Tom Hank’s most under-rated project and it is a favorite film of mine.

Director: Ridley Scott

Starring: Susan Sarandon, Geena Davis, Harvey Keitel, Michael Madsen, Christopher McDonald, Stephen Tobolowsky, Brad Pitt

Thelma and Louise is a classic, road movie, drama about two women finding themselves in a whole mess of trouble. It is a chick flick, but to reduce it to merely that, doesn’t do it justice. Ridley Scott’s direction is point on, as usual, with some really nice visuals, and the acting, here is excellent, as well. The story is original, with well-written dialog, a powerful message, and a screenplay that won an Oscar. Many viewers, however, (myself included) didn’t find the ending to be convincing, but this is an excellent feature just the same.

Thelma (Geena Davis) is a young wife, who decides to escape her selfish jerk of a husband (Christopher McDonald) for a fun weekend with her independent friend, Louise (Susan Sarandon). Their weekend doesn’t stay fun for long. A quick, barroom stop ends with Thelma’s attempted rapist being killed by Louise. Soon, the two women are fleeing across the state and trying to decide what to do next, while police detective, Hal Slocumb, (Harvey Keitel) tries to figure it all out. Look for a small, breakthrough performance by Brad Pitt, that leaves little question as to why he became a star. Another memorable star in this film is a beautiful, green 1966 T-Bird convertible.

This was a monster hit in ‘91 and has developed into something of an era-defining feminist film. You have probably seen it, but if you haven’t, it is well worth picking up as Friday night choice and should be enjoyed by men and women, alike.

Thief (1981) ****
Director: Michael Mann

Starring: James Caan, Tuesday Weld, Willie Nelson, James Belushi, Robert Prosky, John Santucci,

Michael Mann, who is better known for his TV work, particularly on Miami Vice, wrote, directed and co-produced this gritty crime drama that features slick direction, cool dialog and tight action scenes. The acting is solid, though just a little wooden at times, and Caan’s character is a memorable, hard and slick professional. It’s a little dated now, but is a forgotten 80s classic that is still worth catching if the opportunity presents itself.

James Caan is Frank, an ex-con who is desperate to make up for lost time by putting together his dream life of family and success. To get the money for all of this, Frank, with the help of his partner, Barry (James Belushi) pulls down high-end diamond heists. Things are going well until his fence flies out of a window with Frank’s payment still in his pocket. His efforts to get his cash back get him hooked up a mob boss named Leo (Robert Prosky) who lines Frank up for a final boxcar-sized, retirement score. The caper scenes are authentic (seems to me, anyway), and action is great, though the 80s slo-mo style is pretty dated. Look for country star Willie Nelson in a small role as Frank’s incarcerated mentor and a small role for a young-looking Dennis Farina, who would go on to do Miami Vice with Mann.

This fine tension-filled crime drama is a permanent part of my video library and if you don’t mind 80s flicks and love hard-edged, heist movies, like Heat (Another Mann project) or the Oceans’ series, (flashier but not as realistic) then this one is for you. Check out your favorite local video store with biggest inventory to find this one. It’s worth the effort.

Director: Kirby Dick

Starring: Kirby Dick, Kimberly Pierce, David Ansen, various show business personalities and executives.

This is an enlightening, and fascinating documentary about the MPAA, the anonymous all-powerful group that hands down ratings for all films released. Kirby Dick’s project is a great choice for those interested in the film industry and in censorship in today’s society. It tries to lighten up from time to time, remains pretty dry overall.

Dick hires private investigators to identify the elusive raters and balances this investigation with interviews with filmmakers, critics, executives, etc., about their experiences with the ratings board, which really has the power to effectively stop a movie’s release. They point out the obvious bias of sex versus violence and the bias versus gay, or non-traditional, sexual activity of almost any type.

This film is sometimes funny, sometimes shocking, but always interesting and presents an intelligent challenge to an un-elected, unaccountable group who are given the power to decide what people see and, thus, what values are passed on in our society. It has a great ending and is a good choice for those with interest in the subject matter.

300 (2007) ****

Starring: Gerard Butler, Lena Heady, Dominic West, David Wenham & Vincent Regan.

Director: Zack Snyder

Prepare for Gory! I mean glory! But, anyway, either one fits. This is a full out action epic in the tradition of Braveheart and Gladiator and will be loved by those who enjoyed those efforts.

300 tells the story of the war-obsessed Greek city state of Sparta and its King Leonidus who takes 300 warriors to prevent a massive force of really ugly Persian invaders from entering their lands. The real start of this film was the innovative vision of Zack Snyder who wrote the screenplay from a graphic novel by Frank Miller (the Sin City guy), and directed the cast of unknowns. The characters are one-dimensional and their enemies are caricatures, but Snyder rivets us to the screen with a look reminiscent of Lord of The Rings, but with lots of slow motion, striking images, contrasted colors and dramatic use of sound. The story is simple and one you have seen many times before, but it works here.

The action junkies will flock to 300 and be glad that they did. FOR SCOTLAND!!! I mean FOR SPARTA!!!

Director: Michael Apted

Starring: Val Kilmer, Graham Greene, Sam Shepard, Ted Thin Elk, Sheila Tousey, Fred Ward, Fred Dalton Thompson,

This well done action movie was inspired by true events from the mid 70s and is marked by authentic characters, engaging action sequences and above average dialogue which drives a formulaic, but interesting, story. Michael Apted deserves credit for casting North American Indians in several key roles, instead of slipping in unconvincing impostors (Fred Ward, notwithstanding). Both Tousey and Thin Elk were on screen for the first time in this movie and did very well. Both Kilmer and Greene give wonderful performances, as usual, and are backed up by the comfortable professional, Sam Shepard. The ending is cliched, but not bad. All in all, this is a solid action choice.

FBI agent, Ray Lavoie (Val Kilmer) has managed to suppress the Indian side of his heritage, but is forced to confront it, when he is chosen to join a murder investigation on a South Dakota Indian Reservation. His local supervisor in the area is Frank Coutelle (Shepard), who explains that there is internal strife between two factions on the reserve and armed men are everywhere. Along the way, Lavoie meets a sarcastic, but savvy, local lawman, Walter Crow Horse (Greene) and a fiery, pacifistic activist in Maggie Eagle Bear (Tousey). The area is a powder keg of brewing violence and Lavoie has to both solve the mystery on the reserve, and the mystery in his own heart about his own background.

I like this movie very much and have seen it several times. On top of being an enjoyable action film it has a little to say about the plight of those whose story it tells. Kilmer is solid, as always and both Green and Thin Elk’s characters are worth seeing. If you have not caught this one, check it out.

Director: George M. Cosmatos

Starring: Kurt Russell, Val Kilmer, Sam Elliott, Bill Paxton, Powers Boothe, Michael Biehn, Dana Delany, Michael Rooker

Tombstone is an excellent western that is based on by true events, and features some of the best dialog ever put into a duster, as well as one of the genre’s best characters in Val Kilmer’s portrayal of Doc Holiday, who barely outdoes Kurt Russell’s Wyatt Earp performance. The captivating story starts out strongly, and continues taut and absorbing until the famous gun battle, but the third act, (last half hour or so) relies too heavily on unrealistic, undeveloped action scenes that feel rushed, though many viewers consider that to be just as enjoyable. It still builds to a strong finish, however, and despite any weaknesses, Tombstone is an excellent film that transcends its genre to have widespread appeal.

Kurt Russell is Wyatt Earp, a bold, tough, former lawman arriving in Tombstone to leave behind his policing career and focus on making his fortune. He is joined there by his two brothers, Virgil and Morgan (Sam Elliott and Bill Paxton) along with his sickly, but dangerous, and darkly charismatic, gunslinger pal, Doc Holiday (Val Kilmer). Tombstone is in the grips of a deadly group of criminals, calling themselves “The Cowboys”, lead by Curly Bill Brocius and Johnny Ringo (Powers Boothe and Michael Biehn) and soon the Earp faction finds itself in an escalating conflict with the group that leads to the most famous gunfight of the Old West.

Tombstone and Kevin Costner’s longer, and drier, Wyatt Earp came out almost on top of each other, and Tombstone has clearly been the more popular of the two. While it does take more creative license with the facts, Kilmer’s Doc Holiday alone, makes this rugged feature worth seeing. It is a must-see for western fans, particularly those with an interest in the historical Old West and those who have enjoyed films like Young Guns.

Director: John Landis

Starring: Eddie Murphy, Dan Akroyd, Ralph Bellamy, Don Ameche, Denholm Elliott, Jamie Lee Curtis, Paul Gleason

Back in the 1980s, when Eddie Murphy was the emperor of Hollywood comedies, this John Landis feature became his crown. Teamed with Dan Akroyd and backed up by talented veterans, this movie is one of Eddie’s best. The story is good and also has an appealing display of appalling wealth. There is some very good Philadelphia cinematography and a great ending. It does get silly in spots, but this doesn’t diminish the overall project.

Dan Akroyd is Louis Winthorpe III, a rich commodities broker who has the world by balls, until his bosses, a couple of bored billionaires brothers named Randolph and Mortimer Duke (Ralph Bellamy and Don Ameche), decide to conduct a social experiment by destroying his life, while elevating a street hustler named Billy Ray Valentine (Eddie Murphy) to Winthorpe’s position to see how the two of them react. Winthorpe finds a heart of gold hooker (Jamie Lee Curtis)to help him to try to cope with this upheaval, while Billy Ray has butler, Coleman, (Denholm Elliott) to help him figure it all out.

Murphy and Akroyd are great together and John Landis knows how to make a comedy shine. This is a very good film that will be a pleasant surprise for those who haven’t seen it before and a welcome reunion for those who haven’t seen it in awhile.