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Director: Kent Alterman

Starring: Will Ferrell, Woody Harrelson, Maura Tierny, Andrew Daly, Will Arnett, Andy Richter.

Kent Alterman, an experienced Hollywood producer, turned himself into a first time director, for this patchy Will Ferrell vehicle. There is some passable humor, here and a story that could have been interesting, if the time was taken to develop it. They had time. It wasn’t like they were firing out classic hilarity non-stop. The script lacked the really funny one-liners that mark successful comedies, but at least there were no male genitalia flashed at us for a cheap laugh. Harrelson could have given an acting seminar to most of his cast mates, but I don’t think they were paying that much attention. By the end, neither was I.

The story here revolves around the defunct NBA rivals, the ABA, which operated from 1967 to 1976, and is best remembered for small crowds, wacky promotions, like Halter Top Night, Wrestling Bears (which they used in the film) and Cow Milking Contests (why didn’t they use that one?). In the end, it gave the NBA four teams, the three point shot, and Julius “Dr. J” Erving. I digress, however.

Will Ferrell plays Jackie Moon, a one hit wonder singer, who has used all of his wealth to become the most outlandish owner/player in the league. When a merger, is announced with the NBA, Jackie learns his team (the Flint Tropics) won’t be going unless they can finish in the top four in the league’s final season. Can they do it? Well, to help out players like Clarence “Coffee” Black (Andre Benjamin from the band Outkast) and Twiggy Munson, Jackie brings in a washed up former NBA champion, Monix to rally his troops. Look for Will Arnett in one of the funnier roles in the film, as the world’s worst color commentator.

Semi Pro smacks of a slapped together comedy project that could have been much better. It plays like a mix of sport classics like Bull Durham, Slap Shot, and Mystery Alaska (Okay, that one’s not a classic, but you get my point). It has some laughs, and a ramshackle story that could have been much better. Will Ferrell fans will dutifully show up, pay their cash and laugh at all the right times, but even they will not hold up Semi-Pro as an example of Will Ferrell’s comic genius.

Director: Mark Waters

Starring: Freddie Highmore, Mary-Louise Parker, Sarah Bolger, David Strathairn, Seth Rogen, Martin Short

The massive success of the Harry Potter movies mean that studios will be scrambling to turn every piece of adolescent fantasy literature into a film trilogy, as soon as possible. Thus, enters the Spiderwick Chronicles based on a series of books by Holly Black and Tony DiTerlizzi. Director Mark Waters, of Mean Girls fame, does what he can with a formulaic and predictable story set in yet another world where fantastic creatures abound, but humans can’t see them. The visual effects were either rather poor, or trying not to scare their little viewers, but judging by the high level of violence that the film has, I would bet on the latter. The acting is pretty good, including young Freddie Highmore (August Rush) who plays twins.

Recently separated Helen Grace (Mary-Louise Parker), brings her daughter Mallory (Sarah Bolger), and twin boys, Jared and Simon (both played by Freddie Highmore), out to the country, where Helen has conveniently just inherited a grand old mansion. That happens a lot in Hollywood, though I can’t say that I have ever known anyone to inherit a mansion and no money, but anyway, they inherit this house and almost immediately strange poltergeist-type things start happening. Soon enough we find that the cause of these things is a weird little elf-like guy named Thumbletack (voiced by Martin Short) and his concern is over a book written by former home owner, Arthur Spiderwick (David Strathairn). It turns out he has written a guide to all the amazing and magical creatures that live invisibly among us, and this is a pretty important book, so some nasty creatures want to get it.

This is mediocre family fare that some parents may find to be inappropriately violent for younger viewers and borderline boring for their adult escorts. It is cut from the same cloth as things like Stardust and The Golden Compass, but this genre has been overdone lately and has been done better than this.

Director: Kenneth Branagh

Starring: Michael Caine, Jude Law,

Director Kenneth Branagh, best known for his Shakespearean projects, adapts another stage play to the screen, with this remake of a 1972 mystery feature. Branagh makes effective use of unusual camera angles, moody lighting, and colors while the top-notch performers masterfully deliver their dialog that is as clever as one would expect from a theatrical conversion. The Harold Pinter, classic-style mystery keeps the viewer wondering right to the end. The first twist comes before the film even begins, with the casting of Michael Caine, who played the younger man in the original 1972 motion picture, and accepted the role of the mature man in this 21st century edition, while Jude Law steps into Caine’s previous role.

Jude Law is Milo Tindle, who is visiting the wealthy husband of his lover, to ask him to grant her a divorce. Instead of a quick agreement, the two men verbally spar, until Wyke (Michael Caine) offers Milo a chance to make some money that will allow him to support his new, money-draining woman. A deal is struck, but that is just the beginning. The twists soon begin and just don’t stop, though they are overdone and will put off some viewers.

Fine acting aficionados, and fans of old-fashioned, not-over-until-its-over, mysteries, will appreciate this visually stylish and twist-filled actor’s workshop. It starts out stronger than it finishes, but is still enjoyable. I have never seen the original film, though I’m told that it compares poorly (when isn’t the original better?). I can’t make comparisons, myself, but I did find this rendition to be entertaining, though the first half is noticeably stronger than the second.

Director: Fred Wolfe

Starring: Steve Zahn, Allen Covert, Jonah Hill, Kevin Heffernan, Ashley Scott, Peter Dante, Harry Hamlin, Robert Patrick, Joe Don Baker, Justin Long

Strange Wilderness is an inconsistent effort by director and co-writer, Fred Wolfe (SNL guy). The humor here is hit and miss and the script plays like it was written at the tail end of a bleary-eyed, tequila-powered house party. Many of the jokes feel forced, like the writers heard something funny and stretched to find a way to include it here. The cast, especially Steve Zahn, does a good job with what they are given, but its like carving a turkey with a chainsaw. It’s gonna get messy.

Steve Zahn is Peter Gaulke, the second generation host of a wildlife show, trying to balance his ganja-enhanced lifestyle with keeping the show going. It’s not working well, however, and his show is soon facing cancellation. There is only one hope. He has to get himself, and his equally inept crew to Ecuador, where he can buy the map to a Big Foot cave. That should help ratings, and save the show, so this merry little band sets out, but they soon find themselves broke as the result of an urban wildlife adventure. Other problems ensue, of course, and the overall effort is pretty silly. Some of the jokes pay off, but most don’t. On a deeper level, however, I, for one, would appreciate it, if Hollywood comedies would get off this kick of sticking male genitalia in our faces, like some kind of made-ya-look, Jr. High level joke. Look for some cameos by some well-known seasoned performers who had nothing else to do that day, I guess.

This is a rather weak comedy, but there are some laughs for the fans of films like The Heartbreak Kid, and Without a Paddle, but it doesn’t really hold up next to stronger comedies out there, so unless you are a loyal fan of silly juvenile comedies, you can pass on this one and live your contented life in blissful ignorance of exactly what a piranha hate fest would look like on film.

Director: Francois Girard

Starring: Michael Pitt, Kiera Knightley, Alfred Molina, Koji Yakusho, Sei Ashina

Writer/director Francois Girard, of The Red Violin Fame, based this screenplay on Alessandro Baricco’s novel and has created a beautiful, but painfully slow, period piece. The scenes here are beautiful, but often have a dark and morose feel, that is compounded by lead Michael Pitt’s slow speaking style and the languid piano score. The characters are not developed enough to the viewer to really care what happens to them and, while the story held my interest for a time, it was just too damn slow and had lost most of my attention before its big finish.

Michael Pitt (no relation to that other Pitt, acting guy), is a young Frenchman named Herve Joncour, who finds himself recruited to become a silkworm trader in for his partner, Baldabiou (Alfred Molina). This profitable, but difficult business sends Joncour on several long journeys to Japan, taking him away from his professed love, Helene, played by Kiera Knightley, who is yet to make a film that I really like. Oh well, a lot of people really liked those Pirate movies, I guess. Anyway, Herve travels back and forth to Japan a few times and forms some kind of relationships with a powerful Japanese ruler, Hara Jubie (Koji Yakusho) and an un-named servant played by Sei Ashina. I never really quite bought into any of the character relationships here, and in a film like this, that is a big problem.

Beauiful camera work and pretty good performances here, but unless you are a dedicated fan of period pieces like Seven Years in Tibet (with that other Pitt guy), you are likely to find this one too slow, without a really engrossing story to carry you along its uphill path. Some may like it, but for me, this comes a distant second to a good nap. Come to think of it, it can help you to have one of those.

Director: Joe Nussbaum

Starring: Amanda Bynes, Sara Paxton, Matt Long, Jack Carpenter, Jeremy Howard, Crystal Hunt, Adam Hendershott, Danny Strong, John Schneider

Take a slightly interesting story idea, apply a hastily written, and uneven screenplay, mix in film school quality direction and finish off with inconsistent acting from the lead, and you’ll have some idea of what to expect from this re-working of the Snow White story. The movie starts out terribly, but does pick up, and provide a few laughs for those who persevere, but, really, why bother? The dialog is often bad and this is the worse performance I’ve seen from child star, Amanda Bynes. The story is nonsensical, even for a comedy, and any enjoyment to be derived, will require that you do no thinking, whatsoever. It’s easiest if you’re asleep.

Amanda Bynes is title character, Sydney White, who lost her mother and was raised by her plumber Dad, played by John Schneider, before heading off to college to pledge for the same sorority as her mother. Unfortunately for Sydney, she finds herself on the wrong side of the stereotypical evil sorority leader, Rachel Witchburn (Sara Paxton). Poor Sydney finds herself cast out and soon is adopted by a group of geeks, and finds herself pitted against the evil fashion mannequin.

Sydney White starts out awful and does improve to become a re-telling of the Snow White fairy tale, complete with plenty of amusing, if far-fetched analogies. The end result is Snow White, crossed with Mean Girls and Revenge of the Nerds (more of the latter). There are a few decent jokes, but more better movie choices. Unless you are under 14, chronologically or emotionally, then i wouldn’t bother.

Director: Christopher Cain

Starring: Trent Ford, Tamara Hope, Jon Voight, Huntley Ritter, Shaun Johnston

This Romeo and Juliet style western is set against a vicious, but apparently true, story. The version here doesn’t feel balanced or completely convincing to me, so I’m not sure how much veracity it should be given. I will judge the movie, not the historical accuracy. The direction is average and the performances are likewise, though Voight is good in a supporting role. The dialog is lackluster and the story unclearly jumps back and forth, before leading to a difficult ending.

The year is 1857 and a group of settlers, including the beautiful Emily Hudson, is making its way to California, when their trail through Utah bring them into a surly group of Mormons, lead by Jacob (Jon Voight), who finally deigns to allow the wagon train to stop to rest in their territory for a couple of weeks. In that time, young Emily is smitten by Jacob’s son, Jonathan, while the Mormons find their opinion of their guests slowly changing.

While not a horrible film, there is nothing particularly appealing to recommend it, while there are so many good choices out there. I am a movie reviewer, and a fan of westerns, so I gave it a view. There is no reason why you should have to.

Director: Michael Davis

Starring: Clive Owen, Paul Giamatti, Monica Bellucci, Stephen McHattie

I don’t usually like these balls-to-the-wall full speed action features, but writer/director Michael Davis manages to trump the genre in the same way that Planet Terror trumped the zombie zone. He overdoes everything, and uses zippy dialog, subtle humor, and exaggerated action direction, that drips with style, and is choreographed to a hot soundtrack to make it all work. The story is a bit tricky, but the dialog between Clive Owen and Paul Giamatti, (who plays one of the best villains of the year) is priceless.

Smith (Clive Owen), an angry, anti-establishment, anti-hero, is minding his own business, enjoying a cup of coffee and a carrot at a bus stop, when a pregnant woman staggers past him, soon followed by a big, rude a-hole with a gun and a bad attitude. Soon, the carrot is shoved through the bad guy’s head (Smith has more uses for carrots than DeBeers), and Smith is shooting it out with bad guys with one hand, and delivering a baby with the other. And all of this is in the first 7 minutes of the film. Smith ends up on the run with the baby and a heart-of-gold hooker (yup, another one of those), played by Monica Bellucci. On his tail, is Hertz, played with personality and humor by Paul Giamatti, and a battalion of thugs, who couldn’t hit the ground with water from a hose, in the true action tradition. They might as well as have just been dressed in body bags, but at least in this movie, an explanation (albeit lame), is offered for their incompetence – no matter, we are all about the exaggeration, here.

Michael Davis pulls out all of the stereotypes of the action genre, acknowledges them, and then takes them further than anyone else. This, and the delivery of great dialog by Owen and Giamatti, is what makes this movie entertaining. It won’t appeal to the anti-action crowd, but fans of junk like The Transporter, will love it, of course, but so will those who are normally bored by the monotonous repetition of poorly written action flicks. This one is fresh and has enough tongue in cheek humor to entertain many action bashers, as well.

Director: Danny Boyle

Starring: Cliff Curtis, Cillian Murphy, Michelle Yeoh, Hiroyuki Sanada, Rose Byrne, Benedict Wong, Chris Evans, Troy Garity, Mark Strong

Danny Boyle, the director of 28 Days Later, and producer of 28 Weeks Later returns to the director’s chair for this small scale, story-driven science fiction thriller. The effects are modest, but well done and the performances are quite good. The story starts out as quite engaging, though a little far-fetched, but comes apart at the end to reduce what had been a pretty solid sci-fi effort to a mediocre attempt.

The setting is a space ship, the Icarus II, in the not-so-distant future. A crew of 8 is on their way to the sun, which is dying. Humans have come with a plan to plant a giant bomb on the surface on the sun. The theory is that this giant explosion will re-ignite the dying star and, thus save all of humankind. How come Hollywood’s scientific plans always include a bomb? Anyway, that doesn’t matter. This crew is piloting their ship, the second to attempt at this risky plan to get as close to the sun’s surface as possible, before sending the bomb. This sounds like Armageddon, but it is nothing like it. The small crew, as you might expect, soon find themselves faced with difficult decisions and, since they are out of radio contact with Earth, they have to come up with their own answers.

The Sci-fi crowd will welcome this movie with open arms since it beats re-runs of Deep Space Nine and how many times can you watch Revenge of The Sith? This isn’t a bad movie and will be enjoyed by the genre fans and others will likely find it decent, well-acted entertainment. The ending gets really far-fetched (well, impossible, I think, actually) and hard to follow, but I enjoyed the movie anyway, though I probably won’t be adding it to my home video collection.

Director: Tim Burton

Starring: Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, Alan Rickman, Timothy Spall, Sacha Baron Cohen, Jayne Wisener, Ed Sanders

Stephen Sondheim’s Demon Barber of Fleet Street, has escaped Broadway, with Tim Burton’s help, and has landed on film critics’ lists all over the country. Burton’s style is stamped all over this visually splendid and atmospheric musical. The writing is grimly humorous and most of the dialog is delivered through rapid fire song lyrics. Depp is hypnotic as the butchering barber with Fleet Street’s fastest razors, and the rest of the cast is strong, as well.

Depp is Benjamin Barker, a happy young married barber, whose beautiful wife is coveted by the evil Judge Turbin (Alan Rickman). Barker is framed and sent to a penal colony. When he returns twenty years later, he meets Mrs. Lovett (Helena Bonham Carter), owner of the worst pie shop in London. She informs Barker that his wife has killed herself and that his daughter is now the ward of Turbin. Bent on revenge, Barker adopts the name of Sweeney Todd and plans to bring about the downfall of the judge and his goon/lackey, Beadle (Timothy Spall). Revenge is a dirty business, in general, but it rarely gets as dirty as it does here.

Dark humor, dark atmosphere, dark characters and dark story. Did I mention that it is dark? Think back to the Little Shop of Horrors for a similar genre comparison. Tim Burton fans will love it and Broadway musical fans will probably love it, too. Tim Burton knows his business, so if his tastes match up with yours, then this one is for you.