Real Movie Review-Movie Reviews, Movie Quotes, Movie Trivia

Director: Jared Hess

Starring: Jon Heder, Jon Gries, Aaron Ruel, Efren Ramirez, Tina Majorino, Haylie Duff

Written by the husband and wife team of Jared and Jerusha Hess, and directed by Jared, this film has more reasons that I should dislike it than lots of acclaimed films that I consider a waste of my time and somebody else’s money. It’s silly, has a story on par with a bad sitcom and has a whimsical setting that never does completely decide on a time period with valium-powered performances are understated to the extreme, giving this project an extraordinarily slow pace for a comedy, but the fresh, deadpan humor is magnified by these creative choices, and it is all lovingly presented with the low budget TLC that only an independent film can muster. The result is uneven cinema that grabbed a stack of award nominations and is considered to the funniest film of 2004 by many, including myself and was picked as an overrated head scratcher by many others.

Jon Heder, who has since climbed to exalted Hollywood heights with such esteemed projects as Blades of Glory and Robot Chicken, shuffles onto the scene in this film about a pathetic High School loser, dealing with bullies and an equally pathetic family, as well as the unusual name of Napoleon Dynamite. Since I’ve had to go through life with the name, The Manhattan Move Maniac, I know. It ain’t easy. Anyway, Napoleon is just dealing with it one day at a time as he hopes against all odds that life might get better and a new friend named Ramone (Efren Ramirez) and a socially disabled girl named Deb (Tina Majorino) seem to offer up some hope. Could it be?

Napoleon Dynamite has an original and silly collection of offbeat characters pulled together with some very unusual filmmaking, making a bit like the Royal Tenenbaums with teen appeal. For me, Napoleon Dynamite is a shining example of why I should occasionally see a film that I know that I will hate (besides being pulled into one, while whining and stamping my feet, by some woman with strange power over me). For you, it may be a shining example of why you should find better uses for your time than amusing yourself with my movie opinions

Director: Guy Maddin

Starring: Darcy Fehr, Ann Savage,

Art house, and film festival sweetheart, writer/director Guy Maddin (The Saddest Music in The World) has put out a visual poem about his hometown and one of the coldest cities in the world, Winnipeg. It has a pretentious and surreal black and white dream-like style, and elevated language that reminded me of the works I had to read for University English classes, but soon the film shows a playful and damn funny side that lightens up after its ostentatious opening.

There is no plot here, to speak of and the film is alternately ridiculous and repetitive, but also becomes increasingly funny. Guy Maddin wants to have some fun as he tells us about his memories of Winnipeg, both past and present. He talks about his quirky family before moving on to touch on hockey, the railroad, back lanes and plays with little snippets of history, some of which is partially true and others are just little Maddin jokes. In the end he comes back to his family and his own ideas and light-hearted opinions of Winnipeg. The film is often repetitive and there is a painful dance segment that made m want a nap, but still the charming narrative and tongue in cheek humor makes up for it.

My Winnipeg is an unusual film that is more of a mockumentary than anything else, and has found some support on the North American art house circuit, and with critics. As for me, it was better than I had expected. It is a poem set to film and if Robert Frost were alive today and decided to allow a movie to be made about one of his poems, I have no doubt that he would choose Guy Maddin to make the film and that it would look and sound like My Winnipeg. It’s not for everyone, but then, neither is Robert Frost.

Director: Jon Turteltaub

Starring: Nicolas Cage, John Voight, Ed Harris, Justin Bartham Diane Kruger, Helen Mirren

The Holiday season is fully upon us with all of its lights, music, food, drink and abundant commercialism. Coming along with our tradition of over consumption during the holidays is a deluge of blockbuster releases, surpassed only by the onslaught of movies in June and July. With a full slate of family friendly holiday offerings and Oscar auditions comes the usual suspects of sequels and long shots. In that last category falls the latest Nicolas Cage effort, National Treasure: Book of Secrets.

Those who know me, know my hesitation with sequels. I am well aware of the ever-growing trend to make a second installment of a movie if the first one made a boatload of money. Whether the original story lends itself to a sequel is inconsequential, as is the presence of a compelling story, or script, or even a good idea. As long as the actors are inked and the machine is moving…it will be made, oh yes it will be made. This is the exact reason that so few movies ever have decent sequels, because most movies should not have sequels. All that being said, this one was not bad.

Nicolas Cage is back as the historian, conspiracy nut and treasure hunter extraordinaire, Benjamin Franklin Gates. This time Ben’s family name, which was momentarily redeemed in the first film, is sullied once again when Ed Harris springs into the picture as Mitch Wilkinson, a southerner who drops evidence on the public that Ben’s great grandfather was the architect of the Lincoln assassination, not the Union army hero as he had been told his whole life. In order to clear his family’s semi good name, Ben and his rag tag band of history teachers must find the fabled “President’s Book of Secrets” which is said to contain all of the country’s great mysteries including, the path to the lost city of gold, the Kennedy assassination and Area 51. If team Gates can find the lost city of gold before they are all arrested for kidnapping the president (long story) the family name will be saved ( how, I am still not sure and somewhat confused). Add to this compelling plot, a rival treasure hunting crew (obviously! whenever someone finds a clue that leads to treasure that has been undiscovered for hundreds of years someone else always discovers the same clue at exactly the same time…or at least decides to start looking) some personal problems, a couple of car chases and some international travel and you have, The Amazing Race. Oops, I mean Tomb Raider. My mistake, It’s the Da Vinci Code. nope, it’s National Treasure 2.

I am poking some fun at the seemingly endless list of these lost-treasure, globe-trotting, quest projects recently dumped on the viewing public, but this is actually pretty entertaining. Justin Bartha is fun as the wise cracking geek sidekick. John Voight is believable as the “head in the clouds” eccentric father. Nicolas Cage is, of course, Nick Cage. The jury is still out on what that really means. Except that he is as up, and down, as a prepubescent romance and talks weird. (he kind of creeps me out – sorry Nic). Harvey Keitel is in this movie, as well, but you would never know it. If you aren’t looking for an intellectual challenge, or historical accuracy, you won’t regret that 7 bucks, or the time spent. It is just corny enough to fit in at Christmas time, just fast enough so that you do not fall asleep and just short enough that you will not need a pee break. Combine Tomb Raider, (without Angelina in a body suit) with Indiana Jones (without the great performances) and anything else with Nick Cage and you will get an idea of what you’re in for.

Director: Shari Springer Berman & Robert Pulcini

Starring: Scarlett Johansson, Laura Linney, Alicia Keyes, Nicholas Art, Chris Evans, Paul Giamatti.

The Nanny Diaries is a simple semi-romantic comedy, that does manage find an amusing way to tell a pretty mundane story. The lead character is an anthropology grad and tells the story in the form of a cultural study of the ‘tribe’ of rich mothers on the NYC’s Upper East Side. Scarlett Johansson is a little band in the lead role, but not without appeal. Laura Linney is stronger as the self absorbed blue-blood who acts as if she is competing with Meryl’s Streep’s devilish Miranda Priestly character for the world’s worst boss (Miranda easily retains her title). The story is predictable and is a little short on laughs, but is still enjoyable enough.

Scarlett Johansson is Annie Braddock, a recent college grad who, feeling unable to deal with the pressures of a fast-paced work environment, decides to take an easy job as a nanny looking after a spoiled but sad little boy named Grayer (Nicholas Art). Unfortunately, she soon learns that there is nothing easy about working for Grayer’s mother, Mrs. X. Mrs. X is played by Laura Linney, who is appalling believable as a woman whose mission in life seems to be as self-absorbed, controlling and condescending as is possible in any country with a functioning justice system. Paul Giamatti is wasted in a small role as Mr. X and Chris Evans is just kind of there as a boring romantic interest known as ‘Harvard Hottie’.

This movie is rather overplayed and Johansson’s doormat character can be frustrating to watch (God, why doesn’t she just tell that b***h to go to h*** already???), but still there is enough here to be entertain for a hundred minutes or so. for those who enjoy light comedy.

Director: Mira Nair

Starring: Irfan Khan, Tabu, Kal Penn, Sahira Nair, Jagganath Guha, Jacinda Barrett, Zuleikha Robinson

Director Mira Nair (Monsoon Wedding) took on Sooni Taraporevala’s screen treatment of Jhumpa Lahir’s Pulitzer Prize winning novel to make a patient and wonderfully detailed drama about an immigrant couple and their American-born children. The story is authentic and believable, though it is slow and quite mundane. The dialog flows naturally and the performances feel as though no one is acting.

Irfan Kane is Ashoke Ganguli, an Indian professor living in the US, who returns to India to find a bride. He finds the beautiful Ashima (Tabu) and the two quickly decide to marry, after which both return to the US to start a family. They soon have a baby boy, followed by a girl. At this point, we are mostly done with the subtitles and the story stops briefly while the kids are teenagers, before moving on another ten years or so. The son, Gogol, played by Kal Penn, becomes the main character in the story now, though his parents still figure prominently. Gogol finds his way through life as a frustrated American-born visual minority and tries to find a balance with happiness and his parent’s wishes, as well as comfort and acceptance of who he is.

There is no doubt that Namesake is top flight filmmaking. There is some doubt, however, whether many viewers will care. The story is slow and is really less engaging than many life stories that I been told by friends from different cultural backgrounds. I can’t deny that the story did draw me in and make me care, though, so it is a solid drama that flows as naturally as watching a friend live it. Not for everyone, but those who like it, will love it.

Director: Ethan and Joel Coen

Starring: Tommy Lee Jones, Javier Bardem, Josh Brolin, Woody Harrelson, Kelly MacDonald

Hollywood’s strongest writer/director sibling team, Ethan and Joel Coen, is back with more masterful dialog, and well-crafted characters used to tell a simple, quiet story set this time, in 1980 west Texas. The Coen brothers shun any soundtrack music which gives this film a more haunting, serious feel than most of their previous projects. The acting is flawless from even the shortest roles. I say shortest rather than smallest, because the Coen brothers don’t write any small roles. Even a character with one scene is fleshed out and feels real to the viewer. This is one of the secrets to their impact. It’s only weakness is an unsatisfying ending that seems incomplete (unless they are setting the stage for a sequel called “No Rock for Old Men, either).

Josh Brolin is Llewelyn Moss, a hard, man of few words, who stumbles across the bloody result of a drug deal gone awry. When the dust has settled he has laid his hands on 2 million dollars. Now all he has to do is figure out how to keep it. Tommy Lee Jones is an aging small-town sheriff, Ed Bell, who is finding crime to be more and more shocking as time goes on, when this pile of dead bodies, and a mysterious killer, show up in his little tiny corner of the world. The killer is played by Spanish actor Javier Bardem and appears, to my simple little brain at least, to represent death itself as he moves throughout the film killing without emotion while relentlessly pursuing his goal. Woody Harrelson gives a short, but impressive performance, as do many lesser-known actors.

This is classic Coen brothers, and is most reminiscent of their first feature, Blood Simple with its quiet dark mood and Texas setting. There should be enough tension and gunplay to keep the action crowd happy and the dialog and performances should please the art house crowd, as will the fact that the most savage scenes are implied rather than depicted. As with other Coen brothers efforts, this one is a must-see.

Director: Scott Hicks

Starring: Catherine Zeta-Jones, Aaron Eckhart, Abigail Breslin, Patricia Clarkson, Jenny Wade, Bob Balaban, Brian F. O’Byrne

Catherine Zeta-Jones is great in this remake of the 2001 German film, Mostly Martha. The tasty romantic drama/comedy is set in the kitchen of a posh restaurant and Aaron Eckhart exudes charisma and screen presence as he applies his own natural and unaffected talent and charm to the project. Young Abigial Breslin (of Little Miss Sunshine fame) continues to improve her acting skills here, as well. It’s very sad at times (I’m not giving anything away. See below), but is mostly upbeat, lively and fun.

Catherine Zeta-Jones is Kate, the stubborn head chef of a fancy French Manhattan eatery, who keeps her life, and her kitchen, firmly under control even if she has to lose her temper once in awhile to do it. Kate’s carefully planned life takes an unexpected turn, however, when her sister dies suddenly and has left wishes that Kate take care of her precocious young daughter, Zoe (Abigail Breslin in an impressive scene-stealing role). Added to this disruption is the hiring of a new sous-chef at the restaurant to cover the added time off that Kate needs. Enter the opera-singing, croc-wearing Nick (Aaron Eckhart), whose infectious personality is soon winning over everyone, but Kate. This movie uses more montages than any film in recent memory, but they fit in nicely.

The chemistry between the three lead performers is very good and the high-energy restaurant kitchen setting works well, too. The story is simple romantic formula fare and could have been punched up with a few more jokes, but this is still a light (mostly) and pleasant summer drama that will be popular with the girls and their guys won’t hate it either, except you may have to explain how come you don’t cook. I had to.

Director: Andrew Fleming

Starring: Emma Roberts, Josh Flitter, Tate Donovan, Amy Bruckner, Marshall Bell,

In order to compose these words of wit to inform, entertain and advise all of my loyal readers, I have to see almost every movie that comes out. This means I have to sniff a lot of crap, but the payoff (besides entertaining all of you wonderful readers) comes when I find a gem that I would have surely missed, otherwise. This is such a movie. This is a fast-paced clever and amusing little family film with neat characters; some good understated humor, and an acceptable story.

Andrew Fleming wastes no time here, rocketing out of the gate with a fast-paced opening. Emma Roberts shines in the title role, who is an ‘everyone loves her’ kinda girl with a sixties wardrobe to go with a fifties mindset. The result is a movie that becomes Pleasantville reversed when Nancy moves to LA with her dad (allowing for yet another Bruce Willis cameo). She also has to promise her dad that she will give up sleuthing, but when they move into the haunted house of a murdered movie star, she doesn’t keep this promise for long.

Nancy Drew is a surprisingly amusing comedy that should be a good choice for family entertainment that also reminded me a little of The Brady Bunch movie. The ending gets a little silly, but this is pretty standard for comedies. Its worth seeing if you were already interested, have some bored munchkins, or if there is nothing else of interest to choose.

Director: Mario Peebles

Starring: Wesley Snipes, Ice-T, Allen Payne, Chris Rock, Judd Nelson, Mario Van Peebles, Bill Nunn, Vanessa Williams

Actor /director has been at the helm for many a bad movie and precious few good ones. This is his crown jewel. Likewise, it is one of Wesley Snipes best efforts. This moody, streetwise cops & robbers’ feature strives to be an African-American version of Scarface and comes pretty close in many scenes, but lacks the consistency in characters, story and acting to truly reach such lofty heights. The gangster characters are strong and uniformly well-performed, but the cops are sometimes poorly written, and in the case of Judd Nelson, poorly played. The story starts strong, but gets trigger happy and weaker towards the end.

Wesley Snipes is fantastic as Nino Brown, the leader of some criminally inclined friends in NYC, just as crack is exploding onto the drug scene. Nino is a true street entrepreneur and soon designs a drug empire. After that all he has to do is hold it together in the face of the Mafia, internal conflict and police attention in the form of a special drug squad that includes Scotty (Ice-T in a fine early performance) and Judd Nelson in the worst performance of his career. Look for an early and very promising performance by Chris Rock. The first two thirds of the movie are fairly taut and impressive, but unravels a little during act three.

For fans of inner city drama, or gangster films, this is well worth seeing for its compelling depiction of gang life. There are some interesting characters and very good performances by actors that we have seen a lot of since. It compares most easily to Scarface and fans of that classic will likely enjoy this as well.

Starring: Nicolas Cage, Julianne Moore, Jessica Biel,

Director: Lee Tamahori

Nicolas Cage is a pretty hit-or-miss actor for me. This was a miss and it wasn’t pretty. It is far fetched – unintentionally funny far-fetched and reaches the point of just being ridiculous. It reminded me of Face Off, which had the same buy-this-cause-we-say-so, kind of plot. If you were ok with the nonsensical story in that one, then this one may be acceptable for you, but you would also have to suffer through long action gaps in the first two thirds of the film. I hope you are seeing it for the story.
Cage is Cris Johnson, a funny-looking bad Vegas lounge act, who appears to be over-tanned and suffering from some kind of black hair dye disaster. Johnson has the ability to see into the future, but only for himself, and only two minutes ahead. These are the rules that the story works under and how this ability turns him into some kind of superhero is beyond me. It would work better if they added the line, “Oh, and also my brain is a super computer that can calculate all possible outcomes instantaneously (there can’t be that many can there?)! Aren’t I lucky?” So, anyway, Johnson is this superhero and Julianne Moore is FBI agent Callie Ferris, who figures that the only way she can stop generic terrorists from detonating a nuclear bomb in the Greater LA area is to pull in Johnson to help her. Since this doesn’t seem like a real easy thing to pull off, maybe if they put all of their Johnson-seeking efforts into the investigation they would not need Mr. Johnson’s unique skill set. I could go on and on. The premise is questionable. The execution is laughable.
I thought the movie was bad, but like Face-Off, some will enjoy it. See it once. See it twice if you like. I don’t have to have fortune telling skills to tell you that I won’t see it again. As long as my TV has a channel changer and in-flight movies are optional, I won’t be seeing Julianne Moore’s attempt at pulling Mr. Johnson into her investigation again.