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Director: Jason Friedberg, Aaron Seltzer

Starring: Sean Maguire, Carmen Electra, Kevin Sorbo, Ken Davitian, Diedrich Bado

Meet The Spartans (2008) *1/2

Director: Jason Friedberg, Aaron Seltzer

Starring: Sean Maguire, Carmen Electra, Kevin Sorbo, Ken Davitian, Diedrich Bado

The lords of the overdone spoof, writer/directors Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer are back at it. After such comedy classics as the Scary Movie series and all its offshoots (Epic Movie, Date Movie, etc.) these guys turned the action epic, 300 into a one-gag film with modern pop culture references appearing over and over again in the setting of ancient Sparta. Its’ funny once in awhile, but mostly it’s just wearisome

TV star Sean Maguire is Leonidas, the mucho leader of the Spartans who loves nothing more than kicking people into the Pit of Death, but unfortunately stopped before the makers of this mess stepped onscreen. The story follows 300 pretty closely, just tweaking it into the same joke over and over again, as it references Casino Royale (the groin torture scene of course), Happy Feet, Britney Spears (naturally), and Paris Hilton (another surprise). An overabundance of body fluid scenes do nothing to add to the appeal here, nor do the preponderance of gay jokes. I’d tell you how it ends, but I’ve already forgotten.

Meet the Spartans is poor, even by spoof standards, but juvenile-minded fans of Friedberg and Seltzer’s previous efforts will probably enjoy it, though the humor is weaker and replaced by more pop culture references and corporate product placement. It does offer one gift to movie reviewers such as myself, in that its ridiculously short 70 minute run time limited my suffering, though real fans may feel like they should get some of their money back. As for movie viewers who have missed these guys’ previous attempts at cinematic excellence, skip it and be glad you did, but I’m sure you didn’t need me to tell you that.

Director: Calli Khouri

Starring: Diane Keaton, Ted Danson, Queen Latifah, Katie Holmes,

Writer/director Calli Khouri (Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood) decided it’s time that women have a light-hearted caper film of their own, and here it is. This story began as the true tale of some British women ripping off the Bank of England, turned into a made for TV film and now this Americanized version. The music and style has a 70s feel to it. Keaton gives an exaggerated, wearisome performance and the script isn’t all that funny, but I’m always up for a decent scam picture.

Diane Keaton is Bridget an upper middle class housewife whose life is turned upside down when her hubby, played by Ted Danson loses his job. Times quickly turn tough and she gets a job at the Federal Reserve Bank. That’s one way to help out. Another is to team up with single mom, Nina (Queen Latifah) and Jackie (Katie Holmes) and steal old cash before it gets destroyed. You don’t have to guess which method they choose, since the film opens with police interviews and flashes back to them throughout.

Imagine The Thomas Crown Affair blended with Thelma and Louise (which Khouri also wrote) and you will have some idea of what to expect from Mad Money. Movies like this have been done better and done worse, but if you enjoy the caper genre then its worth catching on DVD.

“This place is like a Las Vegas casino. No windows. No Privacy and a shit load of money…Only difference is nobody here ever has any fun.”

“It’s like we’re stealing the same money over and over. In fact it’s not like stealing money at all. It’s more like recycling.”

Movie lines from Mad Money

Director: Zach Helm

Starring: Natalie Portman, Dustin Hoffman, Jason Bateman, Zach Mills

First time director Zach Helm, starts out with his own script and a small, but talented, cast in his attempt to make a light and amusing, offbeat family fantasy film about a magical toy store. Hoffman shines, with the help of his cast mates, but the store, and the story, doesn’t quite manage to impart the sense of wonder that it was going for. More excitement was needed for this imaginative tale to really sparkle.

Molly Mahoney (Natalie Portman) is the manager of an amazing toy store, through which magic flows like a breeze, apparently because of its vibrant and 243 year old owner, Edward Magorium, (Dustin Hoffman)but change is in the air. Molly feels that she should find a more serious job, and Mr. Magorium is interested in preparing his store to be passed on. For this reason, he hires a dry accountant named Henry (Jason Bateman) to put the business in proper administrative order. Watching all this is Eric, a hat-collecting nine-year-old, who seems to be part of the store in some unclear fashion. Meanwhile, the living, breathing store doesn’t seem too pleased about all this upheaval and begins to act up.

Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium plays like a second rate version of Charlie and The Chocolate Factory, which was, itself a second rate version of the 1971 original. This film, however, never manages to step out from the recent crowd of family-orientated fantasy films to establish itself as a memorable, potential classic, but instead presents us with a mildly entertaining 93 minute distraction.

Director: Noah Baumbach

Starring: Nicole Kidman, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Zane Pais, Jack Black, Flora Cross, Halley Feiffer, Ciaran Hinds

Director Noah Baumbach, of The Squid and The Whale, fame, tackles another family drama, here. The acting is good, as to be expected with the likes of Nicole Kidman and Jennifer Jason Leigh, as well as Jack Black, in a rare dramatic role, though he also provides the comic relief here, as well. The characters are well-developed, but not particularly likable, which hurts a story that is already slow and mediocre.

Nicole Kidman is Margot, a writer attending the wedding of her younger sister, Pauline (Jennifer Jason Leigh), along with her coddled son, Claude (Zane Paris). Margot is less than impressed with her sister’s choice of a groom, played by Jack Black. New and past issues between the sisters re-surface, along with new ones.

Margot at the Wedding plays a bit like a duller, darker, family version of The Big Chill. It does have some loyal fans out there, but I’m not one of them. It may please some fans of chick flick dramas, but there are stronger choices out there.

Director: Craig Gillespie

Starring: Billy Bob Thornton, Seann William Scott, Susan Sarandon, Amy Poehler, Melissa Sagemiller, Ethan Suplee

Hmmm, so Craig Gillespie, who directed this forgettable feature, also did the acclaimed Lars and The Real Girl, as well. Curious. Billy Bob Thornton is good as he under acts the amusing title villain, but Seann William Scott isn’t quite able to keep up as the other lead, and the inconsistent story doesn’t give either of them much help. It does have its moments, however. There is just something damn funny about watching grown men having a blood feud at the Whack-A-Mole carnival game.

Seann William Scott, best known as Stifler from the American Pie series, is John Farley, a high school loser, who was tormented by a sadistic gym teacher, Mr. Woodcock (Billy Bob Thornton), before going on to write a best-selling, self-help book. Things are sailing along so well for John, that is corn-farming hometown invites him back to receive the coveted corncob key to the city (or something like that). Once home, he is stunned to discover that his mom, played by Susan Sarandon, is dating his haunting high school nemesis, who hasn’t changed a bit. The well-adjusted, self-assured author finds himself regressing in a quest for respect, vengeance or understanding from the enigmatic Woodcock, who really couldn’t give a shit about him.

Mr. Woodcock has a few chuckles, but there isn’t enough story and humor for me to recommend it to anyone but non-discriminating humor fans and those who find Billy Bob in comedies to be irresistible, this might be worth a rental, but you should really find a support group.

Director: Frank Darabont

Starring: Thomas Jane, Marcia Gay Harden, Laurie Holden, Andre Braugher, Toby Jones, William Sadler, Jeffrey DeMunn, Frances Sternhagen, Alexa Davalos, Nathan Gamble,

Frank who? Frank Darabont’s first two directorial efforts (The Shawshank Redemption & The Green Mile) were both nominated for Best Picture, but since his third film, The Majestic, he has been a rare sight indeed. He is back as writer/director of yet another Stephen King work, in The Mist. This impressive film slipped into theatres as quietly as the weather phenomenon it is named for, and will surprise viewers with great characters, played by an experienced cast of back up performers who are really given their chance to shine here. The effects are good enough, but its real strength is its taut and moving story.

Thomas Jayne is David Drayton, a steady and likable commercial artist, living in a summer town in Maine with his wife and son. Following a damaging wind storm, David, his son, Billy (Nathan Gamble), and irritable neighbor, Brent (Andre Braugher) head to the store for supplies. While in the store, a mysterious mist rolls into town, which might have been ominous enough, even if a bloodied townsperson hadn’t staggered in exclaiming that there is something in the mist. It isn’t long before this is confirmed and the group has some hard choices to make. Soon the group is slintering into three different factions, lead by David, whose ideas of what to do don’t jive with Brent (whose character doesn’t really make any sense) and Mrs. Carmody, who is magnificently played by Oscar winner, Marcia Gay Harden. I don’t know what happened to her in The Invisible. I can only guess that she, like I, did not want to be there (if this comment makes no sense to you, read my review of The Invisible and try to keep up in the future, ok? He he). At any rate, the tension is as thick as the mist and the unyielding story builds to an unforgettable ending

The buzz on this one is that this is the best ending since Sixth Sense. I’m not sure about that, but it is damn good. The tension builds on our natural fearof the unknown and the unseen, while the characters are strong, even down to the shorter roles. For fans of the “there’s something out there” kind of suspense films, its worth seeing. This is a very good thriller and may be the surprise hit of the year, but don’t tell anyone how it ends.

Director: Tony Gilroy

Starring: George Clooney, Tom Wilkinson, Tilda Swinton, Sydney Pollack

Prolific screenwriter, Tony Gilroy, best known for writing all three of the Bourne scripts, makes his directorial debut with a powerhouse cast in this dark, dramatic thriller. His direction has style, but there is too much going on at the beginning of the film and when it suddenly turned into a flashback, I missed it. Was it me? Was there something shown to tell us we were going back? At any rate, the film moves slowly and awkwardly at times, but its not overly predictable and features good acting by Pollack (who is normally a director/producer) and Clooney (who is always good) and a powerhouse, show-stopping performance by Tom Wilkinson in a supporting role.

George Clooney is the title character, who is a go-to ‘fixer’ (Kind of a lawyer/PI cross, I gather), for a big powerful law firm. He has alot of fixing to do. Both in his own life where he has desperate money problems and at work, where Arthur, a manic/depressive, and one of the firm’s top sharks, played by Tom Wilkinson in his best role (even better than his Oscar-nominated performance from In The Bedroom), has gone off his meds and is threatening to destroy the firm’s defence of an evil chemical company, U-North, from a giant lawsuit. While Michael tries to find Arthur and bring him back under control, Karen Crowder, the head in-house counsel for U-North, played by Tilda Swinton, has her own ideas on how to handle this.

Michael Clayton is a Firm-like feature that has guys in suits (or out of their suit in Wilkinson’s case) doing their best to handle a tough situation. This is not a bad movie, but I found it awkward in some spots and too slow in others. I wonder if being a lawyer is really this interesting?

Director: Rick Caine, Debbie Melnyk

Now, I like Michael Moore. I know that his features are less documentaries than they are carefully crafted diatribes that are laced with humor, questionable facts and are always completely one-sided. So, when I heard about this feature (named as a play on Noam Chomsky’s book, ‘Manufacting Consent’) that takes a hard look at him, I wanted to see it. I have to say that their argument is persuasive, and there are several very unflattering items, that I’m sure Moore would have preferred not to see on film.

What happens when the hunter becomes the hunted? Michael Moore is known to the movie-going public as a corporate bigwig buster, and the Republican Party’s most vocal opponent (at least the most vocal opponent that has never appeared on a ballot). This Canadian-made documentary features a couple of determined filmmakers trying to get an interview with the biggest name in mainstream documentaries. Unfortunately the American champion of the little guy proves to be as elusive as he claimed GM Chairman Roger Smith was in the Moore’s first feature, 1989’s Roger and Me. While the deadly duo is following Moore around the country trying to get a sit down, they are also exposing fallacies that they found in his various films and talking about his professional rise to his current level of wealth and, complete with interviews with friends and business associates, past and present. There is also, of course, ample footage of Moore, himself, from his features, other speaking engagements and encounters with the filmmakers themselves. The attacks upon his work include everything from careful editing to assure that he remains in the forefront and downplaying the efforts of others to outright lies.

I already knew that Michael Moore does not even attempt to put forth a balanced view in his features and knew that his ‘facts’ should not be accepted completely at face value. Although, I understand Caine and Melnyk’s frustration at trying to get an interview, I have to wonder why they think they are entitled to one? Moore is a busy celebrity who, undoubtedly, has many demands on his time. Some of the material presented about Moore is disconcerting, but I usually find myself in agreement with his views, so I guess I am willing to forgive his character flaws and look forward to his next work. He should try to be a better person, though. I should too.

Starring: Kirsten Dunst, Jason Schwartzman, Judy Davis, Rip Torn, Rose Byrne,
Asia Argento, Molly Shannon, Marianne Faithfull

Director: Sofia Coppola

This costume ball is full of resplendent costumes and garish sets that do a fine job of reflecting the decadent opulence of the 18th century French court at Versailles. Kirsten Dunst is the title character, Marie Antoinette, who is remembered by history as the symbol of royal excess that lead to the downfall of the French monarchy.

This film tells the story of the ill-fated Queen from her initially naïve and kind demeanor, through a gradual spiral, wrought by the youth, wealth and the influences of a court society, where there is little to do but gossip and overindulge. At the same time, her character has the specter of no heir hanging over her like a guillotine (hmm, unintentional ironic foreshadowing simile there), as there are consummation issues in her marriage to Louis XVI, played by Jason Schwartzman. The story moves forward steadily enough, but this is a bit too much of a dress up party for my taste. There is some traditional music common to period pieces such as this, but Coppola favors modern music, clearly intended to appeal to a younger audience. The story starts out light, but gets a darker as it continues and is marred by an abrupt, unsatisfying ending.

I am not all that fond of period pieces, in general, but this one was entertaining enough due to a good performance by Dunst, smooth, steady pacing and a strong central character whose development is both predictable and ominous. Those who enjoy period piece dramas will find this one to be acceptable fare. If only they had done something with that damn ending.