Real Movie Review-Movie Reviews, Movie Quotes, Movie Trivia

Director: Steven Spielberg

Starring: Harrison Ford, Cate Blanchett, Karen Allen, Shia LaBeouf , Ray Winstone, John Hurt

Well, Indy is looking alot older, but Harrison shows that he can still deliver the action goods in the fourth outing of the world’s most determined archeologist. The story is a bit light, and this is covered up by making it unclear, as well. The dialog is awkward at times, but Spielberg’s overblown (and seemingly endless) action scenes and campy humor still make this film fun. Ford has more big name back up, including Blanchett in a deliciously evil role. They shot for stars on this one and missed, but at least it didn’t crash back to Earth.

It’s 1957, and Indiana Jones is back as a war hero and part time professor, who finds himself kidnapped by an evil KGB agent played by Cate Blanchett who wants help figuring out the supernatural powers of an artifact that she’s just stolen. A few fistfights, a couple gunfights, a rocket car ride and a nuclear explosion later, Indy is free and off and running to solve the mystery before the Russians. In tow, he has a Marlon Brando style greaser named Mutt, played by Shia LaBeouf and in pursuit he has some FBI agents who thinks he’s a Russian spy (it is the McCarthy era 50s). There are plenty of mysteries to figure out, traps to duck and baddies to beat, on the way to an ending that needed more originality, but it is loud, fun and rocket-paced, so the action crowd will enjoy the ride.

Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is the second best of the four film Indy series, and comes closest to capturing the flavor of the original, but aging characters, a script that lets down in places and the nagging feeling that we have seen all this before keep it from approaching the lofty heights of its legendary mother film. nice try, though.

Director: Jon Favreau

Starring: Robert Downey Jr., Terrence Howard, Jeff Bridges, Gwyneth Paltrow, Leslie Bibb, Faran Tahir, Shaun Toob

Little known director Jon Favreau (Elf) will be a more familiar name after smashing his way into the comic book genre with this fast-paced visual action intro to what is obviously intended to be an Iron Man series. The script, which has more writers than the bible, is witty and like the uber successful Spider-man trilogy, doesn’t get too serious. Robert Downey Jr. exudes cool charisma with a great performance in the title role and has some enviable back up from Gwyneth Paltrow and a really old-looking Jeff Bridges. The film is flashy and the action scenes could have been shorter and more plentiful. I have never seen more metallurgy scenes in any movie to date, but nonetheless excellent dialog and cool effects keep the viewers entertained while waiting for something big to happen.

Robert Downey Jr. is a billionaire boy genius in the defense industry named Tony Stark who seems to divide his time, albeit unequally, between making scientific breakthroughs and living a jet-setting rock star lifestyle until a business trip to Afghanistan sees him taken hostage by some vaguely motivated middle eastern bad guys. They force Stark, along with the help of fellow hostage, Yinsen (Shaun Toob from The Kite Runner) to build them one of his cutting edge missile systems, Jericho. Unfortunately for the soon-to-be-punished reprobates, Stark isn’t building them a missile system, but building himself a bullet-proof, powered suit to use to escape, which he does, of course. This turns out to be a life-changing experience for Stark, and he decides its time to give back a little to the world by becoming a super-hero. Well, that is one way. Wouldn’t it be easier and more helpful just to build a few hospitals and schools? It might, but it wouldn’t make an action-packed movie.

Iron Man flies into theaters as one off the best of the comic book genre films, thanks in equal parts to a sharp script and an impressive performance by Downey. Imagine Spider-man crossed with Robocop and then blended with the Transformers and you will have some idea of what to expect. Comic book fans and action lovers will flock to it and even a lukewarm, yawning and jaded movie veteran such as myself is looking forward to the next installment. Oh, and for a little foreshadowing of things to come, wait for the credits to end. There is a short little bonus scene.

Director: Steven Spielberg

Starring: Harrison Ford, Sean Connery, Denholm Elliott, Alison Doody, John Rhys-Davies, River Phoenix

Speilberg, Lucas and Ford return to the scene of the dime to make a mountain of cash in the third installment of the adventures of the ultimate adventuring archeologist. This film redeems the series for the woeful Temple of Doom dud and is a pretty good motion picture on its own, though it loses alot of its sheen when compared to the incomparable original. The Last Crusade is more action and humor-oriented than Raiders and is hurt by a breakneck pace that overwhelms the story at times with long action sequences. Phoenix is great as a young Indiana and Connery is wonderful as his dad, but Karen Allen’s Marion, from the original film, is still the series’ only well-drawn female character.

The Last Crusade starts off fast with an entertaining sequence of a young Indiana Jones played by River Phoenix, whose scout trip is interrupted when he stops a mysterious stranger from stealing an artifact. It is great fun and plays kind of like a super-hero origin. Soon we are back in the present (which is of course still the past for us), and Indy is soon setting out for Europe to look for his father who went missing while chasing his lifelong obsession, the Holy Grail. He finds an beautiful ally (Alison Doody) and, soon, his father as well. Together, they scurry off spending equal time searching for the Grail and dodging Nazis.

The Last Crusade is a good wind-up to the Indy story, as it tells us about his past and his family. The action is ramped up considerably and the humor is a bit more silly, but the movie is light years ahead of Temple of Doom, not that that should be hard. Those who enjoy the Pirates of The Caribbean series will like this one, as well.

Director: Uwe Boll

Starring: Jason Statham, Leelee Sobieski, John Rhys-Davies, Ron Perlman, Ray Liotta, Burt Reynolds, Claire Forlani, Brian White,

Uwe Boll is becoming the video game industry’s go-to guy when they want a popular video game turned into a movie that leaves viewers looking like they just swallowed a bug. After turning Bloodrayne and Alone In The Dark into celluloid junkers, Uwe Boll has done the same with Dungeon Seige. The story is video game level, but without a bunch of buttn mashing to take your mind off it. I’ve seen better dialog written for a commercial for dishwashing detergent, and, even with a stunningly strong cast, Boll and his boys even managed squeeze in some really poor performances, too. All of this has become all too common in the fantasy genre, but this entry doesn’t even have any impressive visual effects to take your mind off its weaknesses.

Jason Statham, who is in peril of becoming a Lorenzo Lamas-like B movie king, stars as a farmer, imaginatively named ‘Farmer’, with a mysterious background and some mighty fancy sword skills. I guess a lot of farmers pick up those skills since Orlando Bloom’s character in Kingdom of Heaven had them too. Anyway, Farmer soon needs these skills since an evil wizard played by Ray Liotta complete with his New York dialect, has set a bunch of pig-like creatures upon the local populace, which the King (Burt Reynolds) and his witless heir nephew are unable to control. There is a bunch of fighting, a double cross, and a surprise ending that surprised no one.

The Name of The King is as bad as Eragon for amateur acting, cardboard characters and cocktail napkin dialog, but doesn’t even a cool dragon to look at. If you liked Eragon alot, or are in love with the video game that this one is based on, then there is a slim chance that you might enjoy this, otherwise you should try not to even see a movie in the theater next to it. The stink will probably reach that far.

title – movie quotes:
Movie lines from title

Director: Davis Guggenheim

Starring: Al Gore,

Former vice president Al Gore created this gripping documentary that looks at the myth, truth and phenomenon of global warming. Gore’s down home charm and gentle humor combined with the most important message ever delivered on film, made this film the most compelling cinema of 2006. It is warm, easy to understand and effective. It won the 2007 Oscar for best documentary, but more than that Al Gore won a Nobel Peace Prize for his efforts in this area.

This whole documentary is basically an enhanced version of Al Gore’s slide show demonstration of the whole global issue, including history, current situation, scientific and political views and solutions. If you knew little about this issue when you pulled this DVD from its renewable, minimalist cardboard case, don’t worry. By the end of the feature, you will be well-informed and convinced of the importance of its message.

An Inconvenient Truth is compelling and hypnotic. It’s run time will be over before you know it. If you are still unconvinced about the immediacy and reality of this issue, please accept the challenge of watching this motion picture and see how you feel when its end credits roll. If you are concerned that it will be too depressing, don’t be. By the end, the message is hopeful, if we can just each pitch in to do our part, we can make a difference. We better.

Director: Martin McDonagh

Starring: Colin Farrell, Brendan Gleason, Clemence Poesy, Ralph Fiennes, Jordan Prentice,

First time feature film writer/director, Martin McDonagh gives viewers a bit of everything with this fresh, genre-bending, small-scale, character-driven action/comedy/drama. McDonagh showcases his writing skills here as well, with a smooth, entertaining script that also allows the performers to shine, and shine they do. Gleason and Farrell (where has this guy been the last few years?) are remarkable, and get plenty of help from an outstanding, supporting cast.

Ray and Ken (Colin Farrell and Brendan Gleason) are a couple of likable mob hitmen, who are mysteriously ordered, by their boss, Harry, (Ralph Fiennes) to go hide out in the historical, but small, Dutch town of Bruges following a job. While Ken relaxes and enjoys the slow-paced sight-seeing vacation, Ray is bored and uneasy, both because of the small town isolation and his own issues. He passes time by finding a movie set where is mesmerized by a dwarf actor (Jordan Prentice), and enchanted by a pretty Dutch girl (Clemence Poesy), before being enraged by a couple in a restaurant. It’s safe to say that things in the demographically small, but historically huge, town of Bruges, don’t stay boring for long.

In Bruges is an unconventional film, that has something for everyone, from laugh out loud humor, to moving drama, to original action scenes. The acting is strong and the characters are interesting. It is still a small film, and could have used a little more originality in the story and some edgier dialog, but these are only minor observations about a motion picture film that will appeal to fans of light, European crime dramas. Check it out.

Director: Steven Spielberg

Starring: Harrison Ford, Kate Capshaw, Ke Huy Quan, Amrish Puri, Roshan Seth

Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom (1984) *

Director: Steven Spielberg

Starring: Harrison Ford, Kate Capshaw, Ke Huy Quan, Amrish Puri, Roshan Seth

I suppose that it’s only fitting that arguably the greatest adventure film of all time would be followed by the most disappointing sequel of all time. The characters are horrible, but how could they be anything but with a script that still serves as an embarrassment to Spielberg’s career to this day? The acting is abhorrent and the dialog is unintentionally funny, which is the only source of amusement, since the legitimate attempts at humor are flatter than a Montana highway.

Harrison Ford is back as the famous archeologist, Indiana Jones, but instead of the exciting jungle scene that the original started out with, this film opens with a cheap rip-off of a James Bond scene. This time out, Indy is teamed with an incredibly irritating and offensive character of an Asian boy with the ridiculous name of Short Round. They are soon joined by a diva nightclub singer played by Kate Capshaw whose screaming is only surpassed in aggravation by her terrible performance. She met the married Spielberg on this movie and five years later she was his wife. Maybe that explains how she got and hung on to this role. Anyway, the film is set in India and has the trio searching for a village’s mysterious missing gem. Yawn. The movie starts out weak and, unbelievably, only gets worse as it goes on.

The Temple of Doom is an insult to Indiana Jones’ earlier masterpiece and a regrettable viewing experience that is only likely to be enjoyed in the company of your most sarcastic friends.

Director: Steven Spielberg

Starring:

Inspired by the rousing cliffhanging serials that he loved as a kid, Steven Spielberg set out to make a film that captured the formula of a two-fisted hero in simple fast paced excitement set in exotic locales. In few instances in cinematic history, has a director so completely succeeded in creating his vision. Harrison Ford plays the physical title role like he was born to it, and the supporting cast is uniformly solid. The story is a simple, clear and exciting mix of action and humor, while Spielberg’s direction stands out as some of the most brilliant work ever put on screen.

Harrison Ford is Indiana Jones, a 1930’s archeologist in a world where grand artifacts seem not to be buried, but instead are protected by ancient, but lethal security systems. Indy is approached by government officials to set out to find the lost Ark of the Covenant which is being sought by Hitler and is rumored to have terrible power. Soon Indy is globe hopping with a former flame, Marion (Karen Allen), in search of the Ark, while dodging Nazis, who are being helped by his ruthless nemesis, Belloq (Paul Freeman). The result is a well-paced blend of humor and excitement.

Raiders of the Lost Ark is a modern cinema classic that surely must be one of the most well-made motion pictures of all time. Its elements seamlessly combine to create a special movie experience that, thanks to its period piece setting, has stood up well over the passing decades since its release. If you haven’t seen it, you should and if you have seen it, you should see it again. Each viewing seems to give just a little more appreciation of its quality.

Director: Sean Penn

Starring: Emile Hirsch, Marcia Gay Harden, William Hurt, Jena Malone, Hal Holbrook, Kristen Stewart, Vince Vaughn, Brian H. Dierker, Catherine Keener

Writer /director Sean Penn is behind this slow, but somewhat captivating road movie based on Jon Krakauer’s book, which was inspired by a true story from the early 90s. The film is pretentious, as road films often are, and is filled with old-fashioned montages (is this because of its 90s setting? maybe), and some very nice cinematography. The story is tortoise-like in its pace and doesn’t have much going on, but some well-written dialog for the shorter roles really makes this an actor’s movie. The whole cast shines, including Hal Holbrook, who received an Oscar nomination for his labor, which only involved about fifteen minutes or so, of screen time. Lead Emile Hirsch (Alpha Dog) impresses with an execution that evokes images of Leonardo Di Caprio

Hirsch plays an intelligent and likable recent college graduate, Chris McCandless, who is struggling with the insincerity and cruelty of our culture, due to difficulties with his wealthy suburbanite parents (Marcia Gay Harden and William Hurt). His solution is to drop out of society and embark upon some kind of rough-hewn, trial-by-fire, spiritual journey that involves leaving his identity behind and leading a gypsy lifestyle that culminates in living off the land in Alaska. Along the way he has various experiences and meets some interesting people. The story mostly manages to stay away from tired formulas and is told mainly in flashbacks and with a great deal of voice over narration that I suspect comes from excerpts from the Krakauer’s book.

Into The Wild offers the viewer a very visual, and romanticized, vision of rugged individualism. Many viewers will find this journey to be painfully slow, and may not appreciate the wisdom and message that the motion picture tries to share. Opinions are split on Into The Wild being a waste of time or a moving masterpiece. It did eventually draw me in, but it’s unlikely that I will ever watch it again.

Director: Todd Haynes

Starring: Cate Blanchett, Christian Bale, Ben Whishaw, Richard Gere, Marcus Carl Franklin, Heath Ledger, Julianne Moore, Charlotte Gainsbourg

I’m a Bob Dylan fan. I am, however, more of a bubble gum Dylan fan. You know; his 60s radio stuff: Times They Are a Changing, Like a Rolling Stone. I’m that kind of a Dylan fan. This movie was not made for me, and believe me, if you are not a Dylan fan at all, then this movie was sure as Hell not made for you, either. This film is made for those knowledgeable, got-all-his-albums-and-know-his-life-story, kind of fans. I did go to this flick with two such fans and they were still grinning like idiots 20 minutes after, so I guess they liked it. For me it was like clouds; pretty, but way over my head and can’t hold my attention for two hours. The acting is good and there are some nice visuals here, but the story is a metaphoric mess, that only makes any kind of sense if you are quite familiar with his Royal Dylaness.

This is a roughly autobiographical story of Bob Dylan, but because he is such a flake (ok, some prefer the term, enigmatic, since he’s successful), they tell the story with about five different characters. Cate Blanchett (yup, as an androgynous, male Andy Warhol-type character), Christian Bale, Ben Wishaw, and Heath Ledger all play differently named fictional characters in alternating storylines, representing Dylan at different stages in his life. Add in, as well, Marcus Carl Franklin, playing an eleven year old black folk singer (and, wow, this kid IS good!) who apparently represents a younger, wandering Dylan. There is also another storyline that has Richard Gere playing an aged Billy The Kid in a weird Halloween western town, that ties in to Bob Dylan somehow I guess. As you may have surmised, the end result is a surreal, metaphorical tale that is as cryptic as Dylan and his songs.

The I’m Not There movie poster should have a giant disclaimer of “For Dylan Fans Only” stamped across it, and admittance to the film should be restricted to those who can answer five skill-testing Dylan questions. It has received some early critical acclaim, but once the self-important, band wagon crowd finishes lauding its uniqueness, and some impressive performances, it will be relegated to stuffy film classes and music maniacs’ film libraries. But, hey if you are a real (not bubble gum), Dylan fan, enjoy. If you are forced to accompany a real Dylan fan to the cinema on this one, choose a multiplex and go see Walk Hard while they are sucking up this lemon.

I’m Not There – movie quotes:
Movie lines from I’m Not There
“I’m Against Nature. I’m Not Cool With Nature.”
“Sleep? Sleep is for dreamers, man.”
“I accept chaos. I’m not sure if chaos accepts me.”