Real Movie Review-Movie Reviews, Movie Quotes, Movie Trivia

Director: Garry Marshall

Starring: Lindsay Lohan, Jane Fonda, Felicity Huffman, Dermot Mulroney, Garrett Hedlund, Carey Elwes.

How, I struggle for my craft! Besides being the only male in the theater for this one, I’m sure that I was about half the median age (never thought I’d ever use that Math term in normal conversation) of the other viewers. Still can’t complain, I guess. I got phone numbers. Okay, enough with the jokes! The movie is a pretty solid drama that kinda plays like Pleasantville meets Fried Green Tomatoes. I believe that this is the movie that required Ms. Lohan to receive a letter reminding her to show up on time for work and not suffering from the latent effects of alcohol poisoning. The letter was leaked (surprise, surprise) and smeared Lindsay’s already tarnished public image. That’s a shame, because she does a very good job playing a spoiled, sexually aggressive, and very confused, teenager. How hard of an acting job was that for her? Ok, ok, now, I’m done with the jokes! She holds her own alongside far more seasoned performers. Mulroney, Elwes and Fonda are very good, while Huffman and Hedlund struggled to keep up with the fast company here. The story is good and not as predictable as these films usually are.

Lindsay Lohan is Rachael, a temperamental, rich LA teenager sent by her struggling mother (Huffman) to a primarily Mormon town to stay with her estranged and rigid grandmother/drill sergeant, Georgia, played by Fonda. The interplay between these two personalities would be a story in itself, and that is actually what I had expected. Instead, there are all kinds of family and personal issues for Rachael to figure out and one big question that everyone needs settled. Plus, all these darn men just keep getting in the way. There is actually too much story here and forces director, Marshall to come to quick and superficial solutions, even compared to other dramas of this type. I guess it was either that or turn it into a trilogy and we all know how much Hollywood hates to do that.

Drama fans and bonding women looking to share popcorn and a tissue will enjoy this one (though you will probably not need the tissue), while most men would probably rather wait in the car.

Director: Gus Van Sant

Starring: Matt Damon, Casey Affleck

This one of those movies that some people ‘get’ and some people don’t I guess. I didn’t get it. I didn’t want it. I’m glad I watched it on DVD, because that allowed to do other things while absolutely nothing happened on screen. There is only the thinnest story, the sparsest dialog and the characters are way too calm during their entire situation. The direction and visuals are good at times, but there just isn’t enough of anything to make something out of this nothing.

Two young men, who both call each other Gerry (and use the word ‘Gerry’ to replace any verb or noun that they choose), drive for miles without dialog, before getting to some SW desert nature hike spot. They set off, speaking little, walking lots and manage to get themselves lost. They walk some more, still speaking little and get themselves more lost. There really isn’t much more to the story than that, except for lots of walking, lots of desert scenery and lots of times I wished that I had rented something else.

Some people apparently enjoyed this beautifully empty film. I guess they appreciated it’s long (really long) tracking shots and complete departure from what we expect from a film. For me, its just a film school project with a budget, and is a complete waste of time for the viewers that are sucked into seeing it. If you are one of the people who enjoyed this, please, feel free to write in and enlighten me as to what entertainment value flew over my head, here.

Director: Barry Sonnenfeld

Starring: John Travolta, Gene Hackman, Rene Russo, Danny DeVito, Delroy Lindo, James Gandolfini, Dennis Farina, David Paymer

This action/comedy, based on an Elmore Leonard novel, is a very un-Hollywood script about Hollywood. It has the stars, the glitz and the top talent quality, but it is subtle. Hollywood rarely does subtle and it is rarer still to find an action/comedy with the patience and confidence that its viewers will get under-the-top jokes, but this is just such a movie. It has a wonderful story and great performances starting with John Travolta, whose understated lead performance sets the tone for the picture, which also amuses us with a tongue-in-cheek, in-the-know, Hollywood mood. Look for the rest of the cast to slip into their roles with the grace of the polished professionals they are.

John Travolta is Chili Palmer, a Miami loan shark, oozing cool and courage. A movie buff, Palmer turns a west coast business trip to find a missing dry cleaner, into a foray into showbiz. Once there, he meets a beautiful B-movie actress (Rene Russo) and a low-budget movie producer (Gene Hackman) who needs help with both a cheap hood, played by Delroy Lindo, and a high-rent movie star played by Danny DeVito. Chili glides his way through his time in Tinsel Town like an ice cube sliding slowly into a glass of mineral water. The story has the Elmore Leonard signature depth, great dialogue and well-developed characters.

This is one of my favorite flicks and I’ve probably seen it more times than is necessary for any non-addicted movie fan. Is admitting I have a problem the first step? So be it. I love the gentle humour, Chili’s character and the clever story. For those who haven’t seen it, imagine Oceans 11 where Billy Ocean is alone and his goal is to make a movie instead of rob a casino. There was an unfortunate sequel, but I will say no more of that here.

Director: Ronald F. Maxwell

Starring: Tom Berenger, Martin Sheen, Jeff Daniels, Richard Jordan, Cooper Huckabee, Sam Elliott, C. Thomas Howell, Kevin Conway, Stephen Lang,

Gettysburg is magnificent civil war epic that seems to run for longer than the battle itself! At over four hours, and with more characters than a season of soap operas, there is little doubt that director Ronald Maxwell’s editing knife was just a tad dull. Still, as a history, and movie, enthusiast, I love this film exactly the way it is. I would not wish for a single scene to be cut, and if more were left in, that would probably been ok with me as well. Gettysburg strikes a remarkable balance between telling a big story, but not losing touch with the individuals involved. The cinematic battle scenes are as grand as any I’ve ever seen and are mesmerizing in their scale, if not their effects. The screenplay, based on Michael Shaara’s novel, The Killer Angels, and the resulting performances (many by familiar actors), are surprisingly theatrical, with long soliloquies that they serve to give a voice to several diverse groups involved in the battle. Why are the officers fighting? How did they chose with which side to align? How do they feel about friends standing on the opposite side of the field? Why are the enlisted men fighting? These questions and countless others are addressed.

Gettysburg begins as the troops first become aware of one another’s presence, but are still unaware of the awesome numbers gathering for both sides. it continues through the most important three days of the Civil War in 1863. They are the bloodiest three days in American history and are almost equal to all of the American deathes in the entire Vietnam War. Viewers are privy to the various strategic views, as well as some of the personal opinions of the participants. Director Maxwell bends over backward to not pass judgment and doesn’t create protagonists or antagonists. These are just honorable men with differing loyalties and ideologies, who meet on the field of battle to do their duty. One area of contention might be the portrayal of Robert E. Lee (Martin Sheen) as a slightly deluded man on an unwavering course to disaster, while his second-in-command, Gen. Longstreet, had the answers. Jeff Daniels plays professor-turned soldier, Col. Chamberlain, who desperately tries to hold ground with his unit. His character, and those in his unit, made for some of the most poignant, and exciting, scenes in the film.

Gettysburg is a genuine treat for history students of all ages. The film builds patiently, but relentlessly, taking its time as if the director knew he was making the most historically important film ever made about the American Civil War. It’s long, and for those with little interest in the subject, it would be a tedious half day, indeed. If, however, this is a subject that holds interest for you, then Gettysburg is a required addition to your film library.

Director: Ivan Reitman

Starring: Bill Murray, Sigourney Weaver, Dan Akroyd, Harold Ramis, Rick Moranis, Ernie Hudson, Annie Potts

Who ya gonna call? Well, if you want to make a great comedy, you can start with Ivan Reitman and then add writer/actors Dan Akroyd and Harold Ramis (with some unaccredited writing help from Rick Moranis). Once you have let those crazy guys come up with a script, call Bill Murray and let him take the lead, while you count the money. This comedy classic was a monster hit upon release, and was even nominated for two academy awards. One was for one hit wonder Ray Parker’s popular theme song and the other for visual effects, which look a little cheesy a quarter century later. The jokes still work, though, and in a comedy, what else do you need?

When parapsychology Professors Ray Venkman (Bill Murray), Ray Stantz (Dan Akroyd), and Egon Spengler (Harold Ramis) are forced from their cushy university positions, they decide to offer their services for hire as ghostbusters. After a rough start and some bad TV commercials, the guys find themselves popular and successful, slugging it out with all kinds of spooks, spectres and poltergeists, but they are still unable to help their first client, Dana Barrett (Sigourney Weaver) with some very strange appliance problems. On top of that, the Environmental Protection Agency is after them. All of this makes for some pretty funny scenes fuelled mostly by Murray’s comedic genius.

This is a great, light comedy that has aged well. Since its a comedy anyway, the special effects that were once so impressive are now good for a giggle and likewise with the 80s setting. If you haven’t seen it, its about time you did and if you have seen it, its about time you saw it again.

Director: Mark Steven Johnson

Starring: Nicholas Cage, Eva Mendes, Peter Fonda, Sam Elliott, Donal Logue, Wes Bentley

Marvel Comics has been a gold mine of material for the movie biz in the last few years. The trouble is that some of what they are pulling out is gold, and some is…. well, let’s just say its not gold. This one is not gold, but it is a little better than I expected. The CGI is excellent, once the Ghost Rider finally makes an appearance, but this takes about an hour. The story is ok, but is saddled with pretty sad dialogue in spots.

Matt Long plays a young Johnny Blaze, part of a motorcycle trick riding act along with his father. Young Blaze inadvertently makes a deal with Mephistopheles and eventually (and I do mean eventually) he comes to collect, which really complicates the mature Blaze’s (Cage) attempts to patch up a relationship with his teenage love, Roxanne, played by Eva Mendes who is hotter than the flaming rider. At one point, she asks a waiter if she is good-looking, which is the dumbest question since the last person who asked “Hot enough for ya?” Anyway, once Cage finally becomes the rider instead of a famous motorcycle performer, his job is to put Mephistopheles’ rebellious son back into Hell, but he doesn’t want to go and there is nothing peskier than a spoiled Demi-God.

The first hour is an overdeveloped back-story and the second half is an overblown, story-poor action orgy. The movie is too long, and needed the action more evenly distributed, but action fans will probably forgive its slow start and embrace its prolonged action scenes. It doesn’t have the super ability to win over the minds of others, however.

Starring: Russell Crowe, Joaquin Phoenix, Connie Nielsen, Oliver Reed, Richard Harris

Director: Ridley Scott

Now, as you all know, I am not the type to question the judgment of my betters. If the Academy of Motion Pictures, or Moving Furniture or whatever their name is voted this as best picture, then who am I, some sarcastic neophyte with a keyboard and a thesaurus, to say differently? This movie got so many Oscars that only beefy Russell Crowe could lift the basket to take them home. I didn’t think the movie deserved best picture, nor did I think Crowe deserved best actor, but how many times can they give it to Tom Hanks?
Crowe plays a Roman General whose loyalty to a slain emperor makes him an outlaw and, eventually he becomes a mysterious, but wildly popular gladiator, but is still after revenge against the new Emperor played masterfully by Joaquin Phoenix. Phoenix has the best role here as a villain who is both an evil self -absorbed tyrant, and a pathetic spoiled little boy, missing a father’s support. The script is a little uneven with some good writing marred by plot holes and a silly ending. This is easily forgiven by adoring action fans; but best picture and best actor? No way. I guess they figured they owed Crowe for his great performance in The Insider.
Don’t get me wrong. Gladiator is a pretty good piece of work with great direction (which didn’t win) and visual effects (which did win). Crowe is rather wooden, and boring, in the lead role, but he is really good with his sword and this is an action flick.

Director: James Foley

Starring: Al Pacino, Ed Harris, Jack Lemmon, Alan Arkin, Kevin Spacey, Alex Baldwin

This strong character-driven drama is based on a David Mamet play and screenplay has a lot of fans, who love its edgy dialog and cool monologs and they are good. I am usually a sucker for well-written lines, but this movie just doesn’t have enough going on. Films that start life as a stage play often have this issue, but it is particularly acute in this feature.

A small real estate office with a vague, slightly shady product is shaken up when a mysterious suit, played magnificently by Alex Baldwin shows up at a staff meeting and announces that the entire sales staff is under performing and two of the four will be fired based on their monthly performances. The already whiny staff is soon up in arms over this and each deals with it their own way, as office manager, John (Kevin Spacey) tries to hold it all together.

This film elicits widely diverging opinions that range from a view that it is one of the best movies of the last twenty-five years, to those who consider to be a boring piece of crap that they wouldn’t finish watching if it was on TV on a boring Sunday. Usually I am one of the biggest proponents of films with well-written dialog, but Glengarry really needed more to happen. There are a few really good scenes, but it isn’t one of my favorites.

Director: Edward Zwick

Starring: Matthew Broderick, Denzel Washington, Morgan Freeman, Cary Elwes, Jihmi Kennedy, Andre Braugher, John Finn,

This impressive, true Civil War story was an early effort by Edward Zwick, who has gone on to give us other excellent movies like Courage Under Fire and Blood Diamond. Glory’s screenplay, written by Kevin Jarre (he also wrote another favorite of mine, Tombstone), is based on a couple of books written from letters sent home by Civil War Colonel, Robert Shaw, who is smoothly portrayed by Matthew Broderick. Broderick doubles as narrator, reading excerpts of Shaw’s letters talking about his experiences, and opinions, of the events around him. The screenplay is formulaic and sometimes emotionally manipulative, but this is still a great story with some strong dialog and outstanding performances. The film won three Oscars, including Denzel’s first, and is a must see for those of you who have missed it.

Robert Shaw (Matthew Broderick) is a young Civil War officer who, due to powerful family connections, finds himself offered command of the first African-American regiment, of the Civil War. His unit includes a tough unruly runaway slave, Trip (Denzel Washington), an older Negro named Rawlins (Morgan Freeman), and Thomas, an educated Black, whom Shaw grew up with in Mass. society. Shaw’s second in command is also a childhood friend, played by Cary Elwes. The insecure, and inexperienced, Shaw shows himself to be an excellent leader, and the men, motivated by their desire to fight for freedom, turn into good soldiers. The story builds to a memorable ending, that i won’t reveal here.

Glory should be enjoyed by most viewers, and may even get a grudging nod even by those who don’t like “war movies”. If this is not the best film made about the American Civil War, then I can’t think of which motion picture surpasses it, (though, Gettysburg does come close). There are several very powerful scenes and grand battles, that combine with the film’s other magnificent qualities to make this a personal favorite and film library staple for me.

Starring: Sean Connery, Honor Blackman, Gert Frobe, Harold Sakata, Bernard Lee, Lois Maxwell, Desmond Llewelyn.

Director: Guy Hamilton

For the duration of the 80’s I was a giant Bond fan, both the new efforts and the classic early films. This movie is one of the reasons. This is classic Bond. From a high stakes far-fetched story to the campy characters, nifty gadgets and the ultra cool secret agent that tops all others, the Bond movies don’t get better than this and some got quite a bit worse.

In this outing Bond tangles with greedy, fabulously wealthy industrialist whose evil plot is to assault Fort Knox and its up to 007 to discover this and stop him. To help him out, he has a new car; this is the first appearance of the famous Aston-Martin DB5. There are lots of pretty women; one named Pussy Galore in the true, irreverent style of Bond humour and one of the coolest 007 goons in a hat hurling mute Korean named Oddjob.

If you enjoy Bond films and have somehow missed this one, see it fast before anyone finds out. It is a bit dated now and the 60s mindset is entertaining on its own, and you do have to accept giant logic holes, but even for a stickler like me, these only add to the Bond charm. For cool spy action, they don’t come any better than this one.