Real Movie Review-Movie Reviews, Movie Quotes, Movie Trivia

Director: David Moreau, Xavier Palud

Starring: Jessica Alba, Alessandro Nivola, Parker Posey, Rachel Ticotin, Fernanda Romero

The Eye is a re-make (some might say ‘rip-off) of a popular Chinese film called Jian Gui, and as far as these global remakes, go, this one isn’t too bad. Writer Sebastien Gutierrez moves the story along sparingly and spends most of his screen time trying to scare viewers with sudden, jump-out shocks and disturbing images. It is a simple film, but is fairly well handled by dual directors, David Moreau and Xavier Palud. The loose script pulls together in the last half hour for a decent ending.

Jessica Alba is Sydney Wells, a concert violinist who is happy, popular and productive, despite being blind since she was five. That soon changes, however, when she receives an eye transplant and regains her vision. She doesn’t get any time to enjoy her newly-revived sense, however, since almost immediately she begins to have hallucinations, that grow in frequency and intensity (What kind of story would it be, if they went away?). To rid herself of these relentless episodes, she soon feels that she has to find out the story behind the donor of her eyes.

This isn’t a bad suspense film and is a less effective cross of Sixth Sense and The Ring. Those that can look past the fact that it is a re-make, will find a mediocre, but enjoyable thriller that mananges to create some tension, but still lacks in story and character. What was it called again?

Director: Daniel Gold & Judith Helfand

Here we go, again! For those who have remained unconvinced about the matter of environmental collapse due to global warming, after An Inconvenient Truth and The Eleventh Hour, Everything’s Cool is another documentary that tries once more to break through the corporate shield of doublespeak, to convince the American People that our world is, incredibly close to the precipice of collapse, during the lifetimes of our children, or grandchildren. It is effective, funny and compelling, but, unfortunately, will likely only be seen by people who already recognize the truth.

The focus of this feature is not really to examine the science behind our understanding of global warming, but to shine an exposing light on the conspiracy of misinformation perpetrated by pseudo-scientific organizations funded by oil companies, who also make sure to sufficiently back politicians as to assure their support. The film talks to those who have been silenced by a government that doesn’t want to hear the truth (and even keeps government representatives, as well as the public, from hearing the whole truth), looks at areas already ravaged by global warming, including finishing with a look at the Hurricane Katrina disaster.

This is an entertaining, but disturbing, look at the most serious issue of this, and any other, time. Who will it reach? Everything’s Cool is yet another ringing alarm bell that our global house is on fire. The question is not that global warming is happening and threatening all life on our planet, but how can we convince those who have stuck their heads in the sand to emerge and join our voices in demanding that governments act, and act now.

Director: Kevin Lima

Starring: Amy Adams, Patrick Dempsey, James Marsden, Timothy Spall, Rachel Covey, Susan Sarandon, Idina Menzel.

Director Kevin Lima, who started out as an animator, takes this clever, entertaining but ultimately formula Bill Kelly script and does a good job of keeping it light-hearted and upbeat, while providing plenty of smiles and ironic humor, that has entertainment value for the whole family. The performers are integral to the success of this feature and they deliver. There are some catchy and corny little tunes and some little twists along the way, plus some cute jokes for all ages.

We start out with an almost painfully animated and clichéd fairy tale that has Amy Adams as Giselle, a beautiful, cheery and song-filled forest maiden who enjoys a close friendship with all the birds and animals. Her life is great but becomes perfect when she meets and falls in love with Prince Edward (James Marsden, best known as Cyclops from X-Men). They plan their wedding, but the Prince’s evil step-mother, Queen Narissa (Susan Sarandon, looking like the Emperor from Star Wars) wants to prevent it and sends poor Giselle to NYC, where we turn to live action. Here, she finds things a little different from her fairy tale world. Things seem a little rough until she meets Robert (Patrick Dempsey) and his daughter, Morgan (Rachel Covey). Soon, however, several others from her animated Utopia, are coming to New York to find her.

This is a warm and entertaining cross between Nancy Drew and a Disney cartoon and is a good family movie choice.

Director: Shekhar Kapur

Starring: Cate Blanchett, Clive Owen, Geoffrey Rush, Abbie Cornish

This is a sequel to the 1998 critically acclaimed project, Elizabeth, which garnered seven academy award nominations, though it only won one (best make-up). Writer Michael Hirst, director Shekhar Kapur, and performers Cate Blanchett and Geoffrey Rush all return to make this visually impressive drama that boasts resplendent costumes and strong imagery in the language. Blanchett is outstanding in the title role, but it is really a one woman show. Owen does an adequate job in the supporting role, but Rush has been reduced to a piece of furniture and has next to no strong scenes. The result is a beautiful film that needed more meat in the story to reach the next level.

Cate Blanchett is back as Elizabeth I, the Virgin Queen. The first film told of Elizabeth’s adjustment to becoming Queen, while she is a seasoned ruler in this feature. She finds herself attracted to the dashing privateer, Walter Raleigh, played by Clive Owen. This complicated relationship is distracting to Elizabeth, who is also dealing with Spain, whose King, played by Jordi Molla, wants to crush Elizabeth’s protestant kingdom.

Fans of the first film will be happy with this sequel, and I would expect to see its name when the Oscar nominations come out, particularly in the visual and costume categories. Blanchett, as well, may be on the short list for best actress. Action fans, don’t be fooled by the battle scenes in the preview, this is a character-driven period piece.

Movie Quotes: Elizabeth: The Golden Age
“We mortals have many weaknesses; we feel too much, hurt too much or too soon we die, but we do have the chance of love.”
“I, too, can command the wind, sir! I have a hurricane in me that will strip Spain bare when you dare to try me!”

Director: Lee Tamahori

Starring: Anthony Hopkins, Alex Baldwin, Elle MacPherson, Harold Perrineau,

Jaws with claws, is how they billed this one and that is a pretty good analogy. Quality actors, a decent story combines with some great scenery and very good action scenes to come up with a tense and entertaining action movie. The ending is rather weak, but this is still worth watching.

Anthony Hopkins plays a clever billionaire, with a fashion model wife, and Alec Baldwin is a fashion photographer, while Harold Perineau plays Baldwin’s assistant. The three men are stranded in this beautiful mountain wilderness after a small plane crash, and must try to survive and and find a way to get home. This is a daunting problem already, but it soon becomes much, much worse when a large grizzly takes an interest in them, as well. There are some pretty neat MacGyver-like moves here and some great scenes with a very well-trained bear.

The Edge is interesting, exciting and thought-provoking, as we can’t help but wonder what we would do in such a life or death situation. I found the ending unconvincing in the context of the characters and the story, but this is still entertaining enough for a couple of hours.

Director: Jon Favreau

Starring: Will Ferrell, James Caan, Bob Newhart, Edward Asner, Mary Steenburgen, Zooey Deschanel

This is a fairly typical Will Ferrell feature; silly, over-the-top, but with a gentleness that can win over viewers by the end. The story is simple and is mostly motored by Ferrell’s acting like an oversized third grader experiencing modern NYC for the first time. The feature is helped along by the veteran talents of James Caan, Bob Newhart and Ed Asner.

Will Ferrell is Buddy. The orphan baby, Buddy, grows up as an Elf at The North Pole, but struggles as a full-sized human in an Elf world, and eventually leaves his adopted Elf father (played by Bob Newhart) to find his birth father in NYC. Life in the big city is a lot different than The North Pole, and Buddy struggles with escalators, perfume and pedestrian crossing rules before his finds his father played by James Caan. It all leads to a pleasing conclusion, as every Christmas movie should.

Will Ferrell fans will find this to be a wonderful festive addition to his body of work, but those who have not enjoyed his previous films are unlikely to be won over by this one. Still, as far as formulaic Christmas movies go, you could do worse, so unless Home Alone or Scrooged is on another channel, this one will do.

Starring: Edward Speleers, Jeremy Irons, Sienna Guillory, Robert Carlyle, John
Malkovich, Rachel Weisz, Chris Egan.

Director: Stefan Fangmeir

Where should I begin? In all fairness, this does seem to be a ‘like it or hate it’ kind of movie. Despite my background as a D & Der (It’s ok to say that now. Vin Diesel is too), I have to align myself with the latter group. Even by the standards of Sword & Sorcery movies (which are not very high), this is damn weak. I do know people who liked it, however (but not my friend who read the books). That is about the nicest thing I can say in its defense.
The story is typical. There is a tyrannical ruler, a resistance group, and one chance to save the world, in the form of a new dragon rider. This rider is a teenager named Eragon, poorly played by Edward Speleers who decided that giving this character a perennial smirk was the way to go. In this world, every dragon must be in the presence of its rider before it will hatch. When one is born, the evil Galbatorix, (Malkovich in small role with a really cheesy name), and his sorcerer henchman, Durza (Robert Carlyle) will stop at nothing to destroy it. I guess evil rulers can’t have any enemy dragons flying around. Lucky for Eragon, he immediately comes across a former dragon rider named Braum played by Jeremy Irons, who deserves an Oscar for being able to deliver his shit lines with passion and a straight face. Braum’s task is to die, I mean serve, as a mentor. Eragon must find and join up with the resistance to give hope and have a chance of surviving himself. If he can, the stage is set for a mighty battle.
This movie has so many weaknesses, I will not be able to discuss them all, but I will try to hit a few lowlights for you. First, a free piece of advice for any aspiring screenwriters out there. When you create a character that has a purpose, but no personality outside of that purpose, you have a cardboard, one-dimensional character. That is bad. It is also pretty much all we have in this whole sorry-ass movie. The story (even the goofy character names) is ok as far this genre goes: nothing new or innovative, but ok. The effects are very good, but in this day and age, that’s expected, not a bonus. The wooden dialogue is as bad as any movie I’ve seen and the plot is full of maddening logic holes that require you to have your brain on low. It tries to rip off Lord of the Rings, but only manages to embarrass itself by drawing comparisons. It is set up for a sequel, and with box office totals of 240 million, it would be a stunning surprise if there weren’t one, although if there isn’t, I would consider it a personal gift from above.

CC: *

In all honesty the only reason I would give this 1 star is because I cannot find the icon that signifies turd. Anyone who says they loved this movie, and there are some out there, eats paste and is fascinated with things that shine in the sun. The last time I had to suspend disbelief this much to make something tolerable was at my prom. The storyline was absolutely forced, and the climax was not even a battle against the real villain, he was back at the castle speaking in a bad accent. The freaky almost erotic dialogue and longing looks between Eragon and the Dragon tripped me out and even the acceptable performance of Jeremy Irons couldn’t hold a single scene together (like he had a snowball’s chance in hell of saving this piece of…nevermind) This “movie” was virtually unbearable from beginnning to end. I mean come on, the cousin who appeared to be a major character at the beginning only to walk off the set and never return, was wearing levi’s. Braums, on foot, out runs a kid on Dragon back and arrives in the exact room of the castle that holds Arya, unseen by anyone mind you, just in time to step in front of the spear magically thrown by the guy from the full monty. I think he should reunite with fat british costars for the Full Monty Part 2 and leave fantasy to Peter Jackson and company. After spending 2 hours watching Eragon, I am looking for “some hot stuff baby tonight”. How about a hot poker to stick in my eye, so I won’t be forced to watch the sequel to this disaster?

Director: Don Sigel

Starring: Clint Eastwood, Patrick McGoohan, Roberts Blossom, Jack Thibeau, Fred Ward, Paul Benjamin, Larry Hankin, Bruce M. Fischer, Frank Ronzio

This prison action flick is based on a true story from J. Campbell Bruce’s book, and it is classic Clint Eastwood to be sure. Veteran director Don Siegel knew his craft by this point in his career and though the setting and many of the characters here are common to the genre, the gripping story and effective mood make this is decent effort, though I find the ending lags a bit.

Clint Eastwood plays Clint just as we like him, here; a tough, smart man of few words with a secret soft spot. His character’s name here Frank Morris and after proving difficult to contain in other institutions, he is sent to the dreaded escape-proof Alcatraz, and makes friends and enemies, before deciding that there is a way to escape. Working with three partners, Frank sets into motion, a clever and daring escape plan. But will it work?

This is a worthwhile film for fans of shower fights, desperate heist movies and Clint fans of all ages. It has its flaws, but Clint gives his fans exactly what they expect from him and that is enough to make it worth seeing once on TV or as a cheap renter.

Director: Tom Shadyac

Starring: Steve Carell, Morgan Freeman, Lauren Graham, John Goodman, Jonah Hill, Wanda Sykes, John Michael Higgins

Sequels are a dicey business. Even if you do manage to bring back all the old cast, writer, director, etc. which didn’t happen here, it is never certain that you will be able to re-capture the magic of the original film. Writer Steve Oedekerk (who shared credit on Bruce Almighty) returns, as does director Tom Shadyac. The cast is largely new except for Morgan Freeman who shines again as God and Carell, who moves from a bit part into the starring role this time out. Carell is still a bit new to this leading man thing, so I will offer a little un-requested advice. When they offer you the most money, make sure they are also offering most of funny lines, too. Freeman has the best written role here and it is was so much better that I started to feel a sense of relief anytime I saw his character return. Carell spends too much of the movie gasping in shock, surprise, or dismay. In Bruce Almighty, Carrey’s comedic talents drove the movie, but Carell is more of a straight man and doesn’t have that one-man-show talent. There are a few laughs but not enough and the story is ok, but nowhere near enough to make up for the lack of chuckles.

Carell plays TV anchorman, Evan Baxter, who has just been elected to Congress, where the environmentally-challenged, self-absorbed, oblivious Washington rookie is quickly sucked into the sphere of the powerful Congressman Long, played masterfully by veteran actor, John Goodman. Everything seems to be looking rosy for the Baxter clan, when God (Freeman) shows up to tell Evan Baxter to forget all this and build an Ark. Evan is understandably reluctant to do this, but God can be quite persuasive and soon Evan begins the project as stunned staffers and concerned family members look on. For humor, we are fed a steady diet of slapstick building mishaps, animal schtick and a Santa Clause-like transformation. It’s not much, but that’s what we’ve got. There are a few laughs, a somewhat suspenseful ending and some good effects.

This is a safe, bland, family viewing choice that is unlikely to be either hated or loved, although it had one scene that offered far more nasal care coverage than any movie needs. In this flick, God appears to have pretty low expectations for behaviour compared to how things seemed to have worked in the Bible days. There is some kind of goofy message about the importance of family and God giving opportunities for us to help ourselves and make good choices, but God-Freeman pretty much only offers one choice then rewards his followers for making that choice. There was probably more to the message, but I’ve already forgotten it, just as I will soon do with the rest of this movie.

Director: Mark Rydell

Starring: Kim Basinger, Danny DeVito, Kelsey Grammer, Nick Cannon, Ray Liotta, Forest Whitaker, Grant Sullivan, Jay Mohr, Tim Roth

This dark, maudlin drama is a star-studded monument to pain and destruction wrought by gambling addiction. It is frustrating and depressing to watch, but does feature strong performances by a very experienced cast, and an engrossing, but slow, story that appears to be pointless, but does eventually find one and shares it with us in a fitting finish.

Even Money focuses on three people whose lives are torn apart by a gambling addiction and on three bookies whose livelihood depends on addictions just like theirs. Watching it all is a cop (Kelsey Grammer) investigating a murder and the innocent, damaged families being affected by the dangerous obsessions of those they love.

Not a bad movie, with some fine acting, but damn, why do I want to see this? Hollywood loves to make these relentlessly dreary movies about addictions, whether it be drugs, alcohol or, as in this case, gambling. You may like some of the characters, but you won’t enjoy their stories and I can only really recommend the end result if you thought films like Requiem For A Dream and Less Than Zero were worthwhile uses of your free time.