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Director: Eric Valette

Starring: Shannyn Sossamon, Edward Burns, Ana Claudia Talancon, Azura Skye

One Missed Call is French director Eric Valette’s first English language feature, and if he doesn’t find better projects than this, there won’t be many more. The performers here are a mixed bag of Hollywood beauties, who, for a feature of this type, have too many clothes and not enough acting skill, which ranges from poor to acceptable. Edward Burns, who has become a prince of the B movie circuit since Saving Private Ryan, does a decent job, but doesn’t stand out enough to earn better roles. The story is a cheesy celebration of 21st century consumer technology. The dialog is uninspired, while the story is unapologetic horror formula, which doesn’t even manage to generate any appreciable amount of sustained tension and suspense.

Shannyn Sossamon is Beth, a twenty something student, whose circle of friends is shrinking due to a string of bizarre deaths which seem to be linked somehow to their cell phone contacts. Gasp! What could inspire more fear in the young target audience than danger linked to using their wireless lifeline? Edward Burns is a cop named Jack, whose sister is an early victim, and now he is determined to figure what happened to her, no matter how ridiculous the answer seems to be. Surprisingly, the premise of the film is the strongest point of the story. As the plot unfolds, it only gets worse and worse.

One Missed Call should have disclaimer saying “For non-discriminating horror fans only. May induce nausea and drowsiness in others.” I have seen worse movies, but the fact that this was a theatrical feature and a noted video release makes this one well deserving of a stern warning. I saw this one and I’m telling you, now you don’t have to!

Director: Carter Smith

Starring: Jonathan Tucker, Jena Malone, Shawn Ashmore, Laura Ramsey, Joe Anderson

Novice director Carter Smith (Bugcrush) turns out an entertaining little suspense film based upon Scott B. Smith’s novel, and screenplay. This is the first screen work for Scott B. Smith since he turned his earlier novel, A Simple Plan into a script, as well. There is some strong tension here and the performances by the young, but experienced cast is impressive. The script is a little heavy on the gore and light on action, but mounting tension still keeps the viewer in the story, aided by likable and natural characters that will be easy for the film’s target audience of teens and twenty-somethings to identify with.

Two young couples are enjoying a leisurely beach and bar vacation in Mexico when they decide to have a little adventure, after meeting a friendly German tourist, Mathias (Joe Anderson from Across The Universe). Mathias is planning to head out the next day to join his brother in visiting an unknown ruins site. Enticed by seeing history that is unspoiled by tour buses and white-legged seniors, Jeff, Eric, Amy and Stacy (Jonathan Tucker, Jena Malone, Shawn Ashmore, Laura Ramsey) decide to join him, though a hung over Amy does so only reluctantly. After something of a trek, marred only by the ominous loss of a hat, they reach the impressive site. Unfortunately, some unfriendly locals show up and soon people are screaming, crying and dying. But why?

The Ruins was a better film than I expected it to be, mainly because of the character development which, though still lacking, is still far better than the complete absence of any development, which is common in features of this genre. The group is in a tough situation and I would have liked to see more about conflict within the group under this kind of pressure. Some more action would be welcome, too, but this is still an enjoyable suspense film that illustrates why you should always stick to resort approved excursions only.

Director: David Moreau, Xavier Palud

Starring: Jessica Alba, Alessandro Nivola, Parker Posey, Rachel Ticotin, Fernanda Romero

The Eye is a re-make (some might say ‘rip-off) of a popular Chinese film called Jian Gui, and as far as these global remakes, go, this one isn’t too bad. Writer Sebastien Gutierrez moves the story along sparingly and spends most of his screen time trying to scare viewers with sudden, jump-out shocks and disturbing images. It is a simple film, but is fairly well handled by dual directors, David Moreau and Xavier Palud. The loose script pulls together in the last half hour for a decent ending.

Jessica Alba is Sydney Wells, a concert violinist who is happy, popular and productive, despite being blind since she was five. That soon changes, however, when she receives an eye transplant and regains her vision. She doesn’t get any time to enjoy her newly-revived sense, however, since almost immediately she begins to have hallucinations, that grow in frequency and intensity (What kind of story would it be, if they went away?). To rid herself of these relentless episodes, she soon feels that she has to find out the story behind the donor of her eyes.

This isn’t a bad suspense film and is a less effective cross of Sixth Sense and The Ring. Those that can look past the fact that it is a re-make, will find a mediocre, but enjoyable thriller that mananges to create some tension, but still lacks in story and character. What was it called again?

Director: Russell Mulcahy

Starring: Milla Jovich, Oded Fehr, Iain Glen, Jason O’Mara, Mike Epps, Ali Larter

Movies based on video games suck. From the Street Fighter/Mortal Kombat junk to the overrated Tomb Raider series, they all suck. So, I settled into my seat, with my face locked in a steely, determined grimace to watch my first Resident Evil movie, fully expecting it to suck. Since I was not a reviewer when the others came out, they somehow stayed off my my viewing list. Anyway, as I said, I was settled into my seat and had my pencil out, ready to give this latest piece of video game crap a scathing review, filled with clever insults and insightful observations. So, I watched and waited for the bullets to fire out of my pen (ok, keyboard, but a pen is a better image). I waited. And I waited. About halfway through I noticed something strange. This movie didn’t suck. When everything else is boiled away, this is a zombie movie. The most common problem with zombie movies is that they become monotonous and repetitive. This movie uses a variety of innovative action scenes and some quality direction to keep the feature fresh. The story is simple, but effective enough for an action feature, and for the same reason I managed to overlook characters struggling for survival who apparently take time every morning to apply perfect make-up, and I overlooked hordes of zombies with super-human strength who can set up ambushes but are stymied indefinitely by a chain link fence. The action is good and the story and characters stop just short of eye-rolling.

Milla Jovich is gorgeous (and damn nimble), as she recreates the supernaturally-powered fighting machine, Alice. The movie shifts between her story and that of an advanced research compound run by Dr. Issacs (Iain Glen), as well as a convoy of well-organized survivors, led by Claire (Ali Larter), helped by soldiers L.J (Mike Epps) and Carlos (Oded Fehr). All of these characters are trying to survive in world where massive hordes of zombies hunt for flesh (and somehow stay alive, when there is virtually none to eat, it seems)and the few remaining humans hunt for resources and an answer to their dilemma. There is a great scene with some pretty unusual crows and some beautiful desert camera work, as well as a stunning set of a buried Las Vegas. I didn’t like the obsession with cigarettes that many of the characters seem to share, which I thought was overdone and out of place. Did they pick up a few bucks by doing this? I wonder.

The action crowd and the video game fans will love this one, and it is a decent action movie. Sure, there are huge gaps in logic, and overblown characters and scenes, but fans of this genre don’t mind overlooking a few of these if they are rewarded with original and exciting action sequences. Don’t expect Shakespeare or Die Hard, but this a decent action effort.

Director: Tim Burton

Starring: Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, Alan Rickman, Timothy Spall, Sacha Baron Cohen, Jayne Wisener, Ed Sanders

Stephen Sondheim’s Demon Barber of Fleet Street, has escaped Broadway, with Tim Burton’s help, and has landed on film critics’ lists all over the country. Burton’s style is stamped all over this visually splendid and atmospheric musical. The writing is grimly humorous and most of the dialog is delivered through rapid fire song lyrics. Depp is hypnotic as the butchering barber with Fleet Street’s fastest razors, and the rest of the cast is strong, as well.

Depp is Benjamin Barker, a happy young married barber, whose beautiful wife is coveted by the evil Judge Turbin (Alan Rickman). Barker is framed and sent to a penal colony. When he returns twenty years later, he meets Mrs. Lovett (Helena Bonham Carter), owner of the worst pie shop in London. She informs Barker that his wife has killed herself and that his daughter is now the ward of Turbin. Bent on revenge, Barker adopts the name of Sweeney Todd and plans to bring about the downfall of the judge and his goon/lackey, Beadle (Timothy Spall). Revenge is a dirty business, in general, but it rarely gets as dirty as it does here.

Dark humor, dark atmosphere, dark characters and dark story. Did I mention that it is dark? Think back to the Little Shop of Horrors for a similar genre comparison. Tim Burton fans will love it and Broadway musical fans will probably love it, too. Tim Burton knows his business, so if his tastes match up with yours, then this one is for you.

Director: Francis Lawrence

Starring: Will Smith, Alice Braga, Charlie Tahan

Director Francis Lawrence, and the rest of the production team for ‘I Am Legend’, have pulled off quite an incredible coupe by setting their film in a deserted New York City that is being slowly reclaimed by nature. The work they have done with this is truly impressive. Equal to this feat of determination and logistics, is Will Smith’s stand out performance as a lonely survivor in a deserted city landscape. The story is well-written, with loads of suspense and action, but doesn’t quite manage to transcend its weak zombie movie genre. If you stop and think, at all, you will quickly find yourself saying, ‘Wait a minute’. Without giving away any plot twists, let me ask you this. Who has been feeding those fish for three years?

Will Smith is a military doctor/researcher named Robert Neville, who finds himself, apparently, as the sole survivor in New York City, where he wanders about, with his dog, Sam, entertaining himself by day, before locking himself down in a fortress home by night. The genesis of this situation, which sprung from a cancer cure, is revealed slowly through flashbacks. The reason for his cautious behavior after dark, however, is revealed much sooner, and it is the familiar movie world problem of infected humans, who are reduced to snarling, single-minded predators with absolutely no instinct for self preservation. I could go on with other issues in that same vein, but I’ll leave it to you to pick out your own favorite plot holes.

Imagine Castaway, set in a deserted NYC and then cross it with 28 Days, and you will have a pretty good idea of what to expect here. If the whole thing seems familiar, that’s because it’s based on the same book (I Am Legend, by Richard Matheson) as the 1971 Charleton Heston film, Omega Man. Once you get past the logic flaws, Will Smith’s acting and the cool, deserted New York City setting combine with taut tension and explosive action, to make this one worth seeing.

Director: Frank Darabont

Starring: Thomas Jane, Marcia Gay Harden, Laurie Holden, Andre Braugher, Toby Jones, William Sadler, Jeffrey DeMunn, Frances Sternhagen, Alexa Davalos, Nathan Gamble,

Frank who? Frank Darabont’s first two directorial efforts (The Shawshank Redemption & The Green Mile) were both nominated for Best Picture, but since his third film, The Majestic, he has been a rare sight indeed. He is back as writer/director of yet another Stephen King work, in The Mist. This impressive film slipped into theatres as quietly as the weather phenomenon it is named for, and will surprise viewers with great characters, played by an experienced cast of back up performers who are really given their chance to shine here. The effects are good enough, but its real strength is its taut and moving story.

Thomas Jayne is David Drayton, a steady and likable commercial artist, living in a summer town in Maine with his wife and son. Following a damaging wind storm, David, his son, Billy (Nathan Gamble), and irritable neighbor, Brent (Andre Braugher) head to the store for supplies. While in the store, a mysterious mist rolls into town, which might have been ominous enough, even if a bloodied townsperson hadn’t staggered in exclaiming that there is something in the mist. It isn’t long before this is confirmed and the group has some hard choices to make. Soon the group is slintering into three different factions, lead by David, whose ideas of what to do don’t jive with Brent (whose character doesn’t really make any sense) and Mrs. Carmody, who is magnificently played by Oscar winner, Marcia Gay Harden. I don’t know what happened to her in The Invisible. I can only guess that she, like I, did not want to be there (if this comment makes no sense to you, read my review of The Invisible and try to keep up in the future, ok? He he). At any rate, the tension is as thick as the mist and the unyielding story builds to an unforgettable ending

The buzz on this one is that this is the best ending since Sixth Sense. I’m not sure about that, but it is damn good. The tension builds on our natural fearof the unknown and the unseen, while the characters are strong, even down to the shorter roles. For fans of the “there’s something out there” kind of suspense films, its worth seeing. This is a very good thriller and may be the surprise hit of the year, but don’t tell anyone how it ends.

Director: Rob Zombie

Starring: Malcolm McDowell, Brad Dourif, Tyler Mane, Scout Taylor-Compton, Daeg Faerch

Musician Rob Zombie is pretending to be a filmmaker, again. For all of our sakes, can’t he find a new hobby like golf, or something else where reviewers like myself aren’t obligated to observe his dismal efforts? This remake of John Carpenter’s 70’s suspenseful bloodfest, is just as gory, exploitive and utterly ridiculous, as the original, but lacks the style and craft that made Carpenter’s film a classic among the fans of grotesque movie killings. The acting ranges from mediocre to weak, and the story starts out as mildly interesting and gradually becomes strongly idiotic, though I did enjoy many of Zombie’s song choices.

The story here is close enough to the earlier version, to the best of my memory, except that Michael, as a prepubescent murderer (played by Daeg Faerch) is 10 years old, instead of 6. Young Michael is locked up for his misdeeds, which included killing off most of his family, and spends 15 years growing into a silent zombie-like mental giant, who hides behind countless masks, of his own construction. Eventually, he escapes (there’s a surprise!), and embarks on a yawning series of violent attacks, mainly on copulating teenage couples. He is of course drawn back to his old home, now abandoned in the same neighborhood, where his now teenage sister lives with a foster family, with no knowledge of her past.

Fans of slasher films of the 70s and 80s may find this to be a pleasant stroll down memory lane. The formula mix of blood, and opportunistic sex scenes, is as familiar as the regenerating one dimensional bad guys. If you enjoyed the remake of The Hitcher, earlier this year, then this one may be for you.

Director: David Slade

Starring: Josh Hartnett, Melissa George, Mark Rendall

After a couple of small-scale character films, novice director, David Slade had a bit of a budget to make this blood-soaked, but still weak vampire film. The story, based on a graphic novel series, has an interesting premise, but an execution that requires all logic levers to be put into the off position. The script is ok, but the dialog lacks any snap and the action, what little there is, is often filmed in the jerky hand-held style. The characters lack development, which makes it hard to care much about them. The acting is ok, but can only do so much with a mediocre script.

Josh Hartnett is Eben Olsen. a small-town sheriff for the Alaskan town of Barrow, which is suffering from a strange string of property crimes and is also watching many of its residents getting ready to leave for a month because the town is about to be plunged into a month of mid-winter darkness. Among those preparing to leave on the last plane is Olsen’s estragned wife, Stella (Melissa George). Logic gets on that plane and leaves, but when circumstances keep Stella in town. Almost immediately, the town’s remaining residents are forced into a month long fight for survival against a band of bloodthirsty vampires. There is some nice tension and a little suspense, but you can’t think too much.

The bad guys are sometimes cunning vampires (apparently with impressive technical knowledge) and sometimes growling zombie-like creatures. The survivors seem to get supplies from nowhere and the action scenes could have been more impressive. Still, it is acceptable Friday night horror movie fare for those who remembered and enjoyed movies like Near Dark (far better) and John Carpenter’s Vampires (about on an even level)

Director: Nimrod Antal

Starring: Kate Beckinsale, Luke Wilson, Frank Whaley

Vacancy is the first English language project for director Nimrod Antal who caught Hollywood’s eye with the 2003 Hungarian language, subway project, Kontrol (or Control in the US) With Vacancy, Antal has created a pretty good small-scale thriller with decent performances, good action and well-done edge-of-your-seat suspense. The story is simple and fairly believable for the suspense genre, which usually bends credibility to the breaking point. Luc Wilson, who usually does comedy, shows that he can handle a change of pace here. Beckinsale’s character has less to do, perhaps, but her performance seems flat in comparison.

A married couple on the verge of divorce after the loss of a child, is traveling off the interstate when car trouble lands them at an out-of-the-way motel, where manager, Mason, played by Frank Whaley hooks them up with the honeymoon suite at no extra cost, but they get anything but a restful night’s sleep here.

Vacancy is a decent suspense genre formula film that could have used better-developed villains and more innovation. The end result is a generic thriller with little to differentiate itself from the scores of others to choose from. It’s not a bad movie and suspense fans might like it, but with Fracture on the New Release shelf, I would go for that one first.