Real Movie Review-Movie Reviews, Movie Quotes, Movie Trivia

Director: Matthew Vaughn

Starring: Charlie Cox, Claire Danes, Michelle Pfeiffer, Kate Magowan, Robert De Niro, Mark Strong, Sienna Miller, Peter O’Toole

Director Matthew Vaughn does a fine job with his second feature (his first was the tricky crime drama, Layer Cake), which is a family fantasy fairy tale-style project based on Neil Gaiman’s novel. The premise is rather silly, even for a feature of this sort, but Jane Goldman’s script is good enough to hold interest and give the talented cast enough to work with. The result is an energetic, feel-good, film that should be enjoyed by all ages, though a few scenes might be a bit frightening for young viewers.

Wall is a British village that is notable for its proximity to a wall that is mysteriously guarded, and for good reason, since it leads to a special, magical world. Young Tristan (Charlie Cox) boldly crosses to this world to retrieve a shooting star to prove his love to the village beauty (Sienna Miller), but when he finds the location of the star, he finds not a meteor, but a mysterious, beautiful girl played by Claire Danes. Soon, it becomes clear that everyone wants to capture this celestial visitor, including a witch, played wonderfully by Michelle Pfeiffer and the Princes of the kingdom. Look for De Niro in a different role as a flying pirate and Ricky Gervais in a small role.

This was a pleasant movie that is slightly reminiscent of The Princess Bride, though with far higher production values and a slightly more serious tone. The performances are fantastic, particularly by Pfeiffer and Danes. Sometimes Cox seems overwhelmed by all the talent around him, but he still does well enough. The overall result is a pleasing addition to the family movie library.

Director: Craig Gillespie

Starring: Billy Bob Thornton, Seann William Scott, Susan Sarandon, Amy Poehler, Melissa Sagemiller, Ethan Suplee

Hmmm, so Craig Gillespie, who directed this forgettable feature, also did the acclaimed Lars and The Real Girl, as well. Curious. Billy Bob Thornton is good as he under acts the amusing title villain, but Seann William Scott isn’t quite able to keep up as the other lead, and the inconsistent story doesn’t give either of them much help. It does have its moments, however. There is just something damn funny about watching grown men having a blood feud at the Whack-A-Mole carnival game.

Seann William Scott, best known as Stifler from the American Pie series, is John Farley, a high school loser, who was tormented by a sadistic gym teacher, Mr. Woodcock (Billy Bob Thornton), before going on to write a best-selling, self-help book. Things are sailing along so well for John, that is corn-farming hometown invites him back to receive the coveted corncob key to the city (or something like that). Once home, he is stunned to discover that his mom, played by Susan Sarandon, is dating his haunting high school nemesis, who hasn’t changed a bit. The well-adjusted, self-assured author finds himself regressing in a quest for respect, vengeance or understanding from the enigmatic Woodcock, who really couldn’t give a shit about him.

Mr. Woodcock has a few chuckles, but there isn’t enough story and humor for me to recommend it to anyone but non-discriminating humor fans and those who find Billy Bob in comedies to be irresistible, this might be worth a rental, but you should really find a support group.

Director: Shari Springer Berman & Robert Pulcini

Starring: Scarlett Johansson, Laura Linney, Alicia Keyes, Nicholas Art, Chris Evans, Paul Giamatti.

The Nanny Diaries is a simple semi-romantic comedy, that does manage find an amusing way to tell a pretty mundane story. The lead character is an anthropology grad and tells the story in the form of a cultural study of the ‘tribe’ of rich mothers on the NYC’s Upper East Side. Scarlett Johansson is a little band in the lead role, but not without appeal. Laura Linney is stronger as the self absorbed blue-blood who acts as if she is competing with Meryl’s Streep’s devilish Miranda Priestly character for the world’s worst boss (Miranda easily retains her title). The story is predictable and is a little short on laughs, but is still enjoyable enough.

Scarlett Johansson is Annie Braddock, a recent college grad who, feeling unable to deal with the pressures of a fast-paced work environment, decides to take an easy job as a nanny looking after a spoiled but sad little boy named Grayer (Nicholas Art). Unfortunately, she soon learns that there is nothing easy about working for Grayer’s mother, Mrs. X. Mrs. X is played by Laura Linney, who is appalling believable as a woman whose mission in life seems to be as self-absorbed, controlling and condescending as is possible in any country with a functioning justice system. Paul Giamatti is wasted in a small role as Mr. X and Chris Evans is just kind of there as a boring romantic interest known as ‘Harvard Hottie’.

This movie is rather overplayed and Johansson’s doormat character can be frustrating to watch (God, why doesn’t she just tell that b***h to go to h*** already???), but still there is enough here to be entertain for a hundred minutes or so. for those who enjoy light comedy.

Director: David Dobkin

Starring: Vince Vaughn, Paul Giamatti, Kevin Spacey, Kathy Bates, John Michael Higgins, Miranda Richardson, Rachel Weisz, Elizabeth Banks.

David Dobkin (Wedding Crashers and Shanghai Knights) drives this Vince Vaughn vehicle. The story has an interesting premise, but mediocre execution relies heavily upon Vince’s delievery of a non-stop parade of snappy, mostly nasty, and sometimes funny jokes. There is a strong supporting cast, but, while Bates has some decent lines, Paul Giamatti is underused and Spacey, who could have been given some deliciously funny and evil dialog, is left to languish in mediocrity as a cardboard character.

Vince Vaughn is Fred Claus, a bitter, self absorbed man with a famous Saint for a brother. Guess which one? That’s right. Jolly, old St. Nick. Try and compete with that! You’d be bitter, wouldn’t you? Okay well maybe not, but Fred is a pretty bitter. We get hints to this when we watch him blast out machine gun salvos of anti-Xmas venom, destroy lawn decorations and brawl with an army of Salvation Santas. Soon, however, poor Fred desperately needs money for bail, and stuff and is forced to end his estrangement from his famous family by contacting Santa (Paul Giamatti in a fat suit) and ask for the kind of gift that has several zeroes and fits neatly into a wallet. Unfortunately, Santa wasn’t born yesterday and tells his erstwhile sibling that to get anything, Fred will have to visit him at the North Pole and help out with the world’s only real Christmas rush. Once there, Fred is befriended by a romantically-smitten elf, played by a digitally reduced John Michael Higgins, but Santa has other visitors too. These include the Claus boys’ parents (featuring Kathy Bates as Mom, whom Fred has been ducking) and a Scrooge-like ‘efficiency expert’ with the power and personality to shut down Christmas. It all sounds funnier than it is and unfolds with all the imagination of a tax form. There is a great scene however, where Fred visits a support group for those struggling wih having famous siblings. It is loaded with cameos by siblings of celebrities playing themselves and is good for some belly laughs.

This is movie-making by the numbers and isn’t bad, but is aimed at, and limited in its real appeal to, official and unofficial Vince Vaughn fan club members. It’s coming at you for Christmas, but it ain’t no gift. Fred Claus has a few laughs, but as many surprises as the average Monday morning commute. If a movie is going to be such an obvious formula film, then it should be funnier than this. In the end, it’s little more than a pleasant distraction. That’s enough for some, but, as for me, I’d rather just watch Scrooged again.

Director: Adrienne Shelly

Starring: Keri Russell, Nathan Fillion, Cheryl Hines, Jeremy Sisto, Adrienne Shelly, Andy Griffith

Waitress is one of the most pleasant surprises of the year. Adrienne Shelly skillfully wrote, and directed, this clever and funny screenplay about regret and restlessness with the choices we make in our lives and what we do about them. Shelly, who still had some spare time it seems, also got in front of the camera to take on one of the supporting roles, as well. There is a basic story, but the characters are great and there’s lots of subtly amusing dialog and the whole package is hlped by some very good writing.

Keri Russell is Jenna, a pie-genius waitress in a small-town diner in the deep south who hates her controlling and self-absorbed husband (Jeremy Sisto)and is a just a little less than thrilled to discover that she is pregnant, as well. Jenna finds release through her friends and co-workers, Becky and Dawn (Cheryl Hines and Adrienne Shelly) and through her creative creation of ‘unearthly and sensual’ pies, while plotting her escape to a life more livable. Her preganancy throws a hitch into those plans, but when a new doctor appears in town, another kind of escape possibility begins to emerge.

Waitress is a dark, but gentle, comedy with a bland title that makes it easy to miss. That’s a shame because it is the best chick flick of 2007, and one of the year’s best movies. It is reminiscent of Fried Green Tomatoes in its setting and characters, but is better and funnier . It is a good movie, but most, unfortunately, will miss it. Now, you don’t have to, though.

Director: Kevin Lima

Starring: Amy Adams, Patrick Dempsey, James Marsden, Timothy Spall, Rachel Covey, Susan Sarandon, Idina Menzel.

Director Kevin Lima, who started out as an animator, takes this clever, entertaining but ultimately formula Bill Kelly script and does a good job of keeping it light-hearted and upbeat, while providing plenty of smiles and ironic humor, that has entertainment value for the whole family. The performers are integral to the success of this feature and they deliver. There are some catchy and corny little tunes and some little twists along the way, plus some cute jokes for all ages.

We start out with an almost painfully animated and clichéd fairy tale that has Amy Adams as Giselle, a beautiful, cheery and song-filled forest maiden who enjoys a close friendship with all the birds and animals. Her life is great but becomes perfect when she meets and falls in love with Prince Edward (James Marsden, best known as Cyclops from X-Men). They plan their wedding, but the Prince’s evil step-mother, Queen Narissa (Susan Sarandon, looking like the Emperor from Star Wars) wants to prevent it and sends poor Giselle to NYC, where we turn to live action. Here, she finds things a little different from her fairy tale world. Things seem a little rough until she meets Robert (Patrick Dempsey) and his daughter, Morgan (Rachel Covey). Soon, however, several others from her animated Utopia, are coming to New York to find her.

This is a warm and entertaining cross between Nancy Drew and a Disney cartoon and is a good family movie choice.

Director: Peter Hedges

Starring: Steve Carell, Juliette Binoche, Dane Cook, Dianne Weist, John Mahoney, Alison Pill, Brittany Robertson, Marlene Lawston

Writer/director Peter Hedges looks like he will have a hit on his hands with this, only his second feature film. This romantic comedy leans a little more towards drama, but is built on sweet characters and a decent story and still manages to pull out a few good laughs, too. There is a strong experienced cast, here and Carell excels at playing the nice Tom Hanks-type everyman. Juliette Binoche exudes appeal in every scene and veterans Mahoney and Weist are excellent in support.

Steve Carell is Dan Burns, an advice columnist who is also a struggling widower who keeps busy raising three daughters. Dan has not been ready to find new love, until he meets the charming and beautiful Marie in a tiny bookstore, while on a cabin weekend with his whole family. Dan is smitten, and the instant attraction seems mutual, but his elation soon turns to pain, when the intriguing woman shows up at the family gathering as his younger brother’s new girlfriend.

There are a few laughs and a lot of “awwwws” as this emotionally manipulative, but still entertaining, little feature weaves its magic. The film will feel warm and familiar and will not disappoint the rom-com crowd (romantic comedy).

Director: Steve Hickner, Simon J. Smith

Starring: Jerry Seinfeld, Renee Zellweger, Matthew Broderick, Patrick Warburton, John Goodman, Chris Rock, Oprah Winfrey,

I think Seinfeld is the best TV series of all time. Its not even close. It is just the best. So it is safe to say that I am quite interested in anything Jerry comes up with now. What he has come up with here is an uneven punfest, loaded with chuckles and big name and Seinfeld cast cameos. The story is all over the place and parts of the film feel like a kids movie, with enough in-jokes that the grown-ups don’t get bored, while other sections of the movie feel like an episode of Family Guy or The Simpsons. Four people, led by Seinfeld, did the writing here, so that probably explains the pun proliferation and story deterioration. Still, let’s not over think this thing like some art house critic, there are some good chuckles and the kids in the theatre seemed to enjoy it.

Jerry Seinfeld is the real power here and his character, Barry B. Benson is a young bee who just isn’t sure that he is ready to spend the rest of his life in the honey production industry, at least not before a little adventure. He joins a dangerous excursion outside the hive and soon finds himself in trouble and has to be saved by a friendly florist, Vanessa Bloome (Renee Zellweger). Being a polite bee, Barry feels that he has to thank her, despite bee rule #1 – never talk to humans. The two become friends, with some kind of creepy romantic overtones and then decide to go to court to battle for the bees’ right to keep their own honey production. There is a little biology lesson and a fair dark plot turn following this, but I’ve said enough.

I may be flirting with the downfall of society as we know it, but I think Bee Movie is safe entertainment for all ages despite its PG rating. PG? Is the ratings board mad with power or what? Anyway, I digress, but for those of you with an interest the aforementioned topic, check out my review on This Film is Not Yet Rated. Ok, ok the commercial break is over, back to the review. The adult/kids tone is inconsistent, and the story moves forward like spilled milk (its all over the place – keep up with my similes will ya?). Art it ain’t, and there are better kids’ movies, but not this week, so Seinfeld fans can scoop up their little noise machines and be pleasantly distracted for a couple of hours.

Director: Bobby Farrelly, Peter Farrelly

Starring: Ben Stiller, Malin Akerman, Michelle Monaghan, Jerry Stiller, Rob Corddry

This is the lastest in the trend of remaking classic movies with this generations hot stars and an updated edgier feel. Like many of their predecessors, the heartbreak kid and the Farrelly brothers prove that just because an idea was good in 1972, it doesn’t necessarily mean it will translate in 2007.

Ben Stiller plays Eddie Cantrow, a 40 year old single successful man with a serious fear of making the wrong decision when it comes to picking a wife. Because of this, he has a history of ending relationships with pretty good choices because he is not sure that they are his perfect match. He bumps into Lila one day (played by Malin Ackerman) while trying to be a good samaritan and help her retrieve her handbag from a purse snatcher. They start dating and soon after, unique events lead Eddie to be put in a position where he has to marry her or lose her. Prompted by his own fear that he is letting another winner slip away and the incessant digs from his father played by appropriately and believably by Jerry Stiller and constant coercing by his best friend Mac played by Rob Corddry, Eddie decides to take the plunge. Almost within minutes he realizes that it was not the correct decision.

Movies that involve the Farrelly brothers and movies that involve Ben Stiller usually run a pretty similar path, not everyone will like them and they will not winner a lot of Oscar’s but generally you can count on a couple of times per hour that you are in a full “belly laugh”. Now, those laughs are not always of the highbrow variety, they are often jokes involving strange noises, inappropriate sex or bodily fluids, but heartbreak had none of those moments. Well that isn;t entirely true, there were jokes about weird noises and inappropriate sex but they more disturbing than funny. Additionally, it just was so obvious that they were trying to mimic the successful formula of “There’s Something About Mary” (right down to using a female lead that could pass as Cameron Diaz at Cameron Diaz’s own family Christmas) that it was almost uncomfortable. Now, I can buy the idea that all “romantic comedies” have to have some sort of a “musical interlude”, fun activity montage to show how the relationship is developing, however, no movie goer should ever have to endure 2! The truth about Ben Stiller is the true heartbreak. As much as I really want to love his movies because I really like him in the right roles, unless he is surrounded by real talent, like the Deniros , Dillons and Robin Williams’ of the world, he cannot carry a movie.
Skip the 7 dollar ticket, go to 7-11 buy an extra big box of junior mints and a big gulp and go home. If you flip channels long enough you’ll probably find “There’s Something About Mary” on TBS.

MMM says:

The Farrelly brothers, who brought us such entertaining hits as There’s Something About Mary and, Dumb and Dumber, as well as junkers like Fever Pitch, are back at it with another disappointing Stiller film that is as hit and miss as a 70s sitcom. The premise is a little shaky to begin with, but they manage to hold it together and get an equal number of giggles and groans until the last half hour, which is as fun as a summer road trip through Iraq. It’s a mess and took away any generous feelings that I had toward the film. This film isn’t really much different than what we have come to expect from the always crude, and sometimes funny, Farrelly brothers, but I spent so much time grimacing in the last half hour that if felt like a dental appointment.

Ben Stiller is Eddie Cantrow, a sports store owner who feels like the only single man left in America when he meets a gorgeous mid-twenties good hearted dream girl, Lila, played by Swedish-born Malin Akerman. The pressure of circumstances, friends and his crude father, played real-life Pa, Jerry Stiller of Seinfeld fame, leads to a sudden wedding after six weeks of dating (during which time, Eddie apparently learned absolutely nothing about his bride-to-be). They set off on a Mexican honeymoon, during which Eddie learns that his beautiful, new bride is a sexual pretzel with attachment issues like a whiny puppy and a past with as many issues as a Nazi war criminal. Things get more complicated when he meets a smart, funny and beautiful lacrosse coach, Miranda, played by Michelle Monaghan. So what happens when you find your real true love while you are on your honeymoon? Can you say awkward? What ensues is an uneven story that unfolds like one of those sitcoms where the main character has two dates at once. The wheels fall off in the last half hour, but there is a ballsy, slightly non-formula ending.

The usual Farrelly brothers crowd will like this one. This crowd usually consists of the same adolescent minds that like Ben Stiller movies, but if you are not already a fan of these guys, then this one is sure not going to win you over.

Director: Kevin Munroe

Starring: Mikey Kelley, Sarah Micelle Gellar, Mako, Patrick Stewart,
Mitchell Whitfield, James Arnold Taylor, Nolan North, Laurence Fishburne,

The rental box for this piece of crap should be stamped with a large warning label: ‘For Children Only. May cause vomiting and suicidal thoughts for adults’. Except, of course, that the film’s violence has earned it a PG rating, so I’m not sure if parents would choose this for their kids, either. Well, the Turtles are back in a movie that looks so much like a video game that all it needs is the Sony PS3 logo. The acting is fine with such names as Patrick Stewart as villain, Max Winters and Laurence Fishburne as the narrator. The story is kindergarten simple and the dialog is on a par with the most mediocre Saturday morning efforts. There is less action that you would expect to find and the jokes don’t work. So what’s left?

The film starts with a 3,000-year-old back-story that ends with 13 monsters being released into the world. Meanwhile, old turtle friend April O’Neil sets out to find Leonardo who has been training alone in Central America. She convinces him to return to his family, which has been floundering in his absence. Isn’t the profound wisdom of Master Splinter enough to keep these guys on track? Anyways, he does return and after a bunch of squabbling, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles get back down to the business of making money- I mean fighting evil.

I can only guess that this mass marketing machine that lead off with a movie is aimed at youngsters and maybe at those who enjoyed the cartoons, movies and games from the last time these four were set upon the wallets of impressionable children and their helpless parents. There is nothing new to offer, here and what is re-hashed wasn’t interesting the first twenty times we saw it in movies exactly like this one.