Real Movie Review-Movie Reviews, Movie Quotes, Movie Trivia

Director: Wes Anderson

Starring: Owen Wilson, Adrien Brody, Jason Schwartzman, Amara Karan, Anjelica Huston

Writer/director Wes Anderson has a created niche for himself, after projects like “The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou” and the quirky classic, “The Royal Tenenbaums”. He is known for his unconventional formula that involves peculiar characters interacting with their equally unusual friends and families. “The Darjeeling Limited” follows this path, as well, and presents fine actors playing off-the-wall characters, and a script that has some very funny bits. It gets stranger and less funny as it progresses, however, and this affected my enjoyment of it.

“The Darjeeling Limited” starts out with an optional, but connected, 10 minute short film about Jason Schwartzman’s character, Jack interacting with a former girlfriend played by Natalie Portman. Is it just me, or does Schwartzman look Tom Cruise’s non sex symbol brother? Nevertheless, I recommend watching this preceding short. But speaking of brothers, the real film opens with Jack meeting his two brothers, Francis and Peter (Owen Wilson and Adrien Brody) on a train in India, as the beginning of Francis’ plan for a family spiritual journey following a near-death experience. The brothers have some issues to sort out, and attempt to do this while working around pepper spray, poisonous snakes, romantic interludes and lots and lots of cigarettes, on their way to a big surprise that Francis has set up for them.

I am not much of a Wes Anderson fan. I find his work to be too offbeat, and that it has too little happening for my ADD movie watching tastes. I did, however find this feature to be interesting and funny enough (in some spots, damn funny) to entertain me until it got more eccentric and less funny towards the end. There are some good laughs, here, helped along by the talented cast. Anderson fans will love this and those who have not enjoyed his previous efforts would likely love to miss it. Opinions on this feature will diverge wildly according taste. Many will read this review and be saying out loud, “Maniac, you are an idiot.” I already know that.

Director: Andrew Currie

Starring: K’Sun Ray, Carrie Ann Moss, Billy Connolly, Dylan Baker, Tim Blake Nelson, Henry Czerny, Sonja Bennett, Jennifer Clement

Fido is an amusing zombie comedy that will gleefully be eaten up by the legions of zombie fans out there. Director and co-writer, Andrew Currie cleverly sets his zombie tale in a 1950s-style society, and this makes the outrageousness of the imaginative story that much better. The actors have a lot of fun with the tongue in cheek dialog and, even for a non-zombie lover like me, this is an entertaining film.

The movie opens with a great 50s style promotional film by the all-powerful Zomcon corporation, which gives the hilarious history of zombie/human relations, which consists of a troubled past of dead relatives rising up to devour their offspring (The Zombie Wars), to the current utopian state of affairs, in which some zombies are used as slaves, and the rest are kept out communities by a fence. Our story centers around little Timmy Robinson, a bullied and neglected little boy, who has no friends until his mom, concerned over not keeping up with the Joneses’, gets the family a zombie (Billy Connelly), which Timmy names Fido. Trouble looms when Fido eats a neighbor, but Timmy and Mom (Carrie Ann Moss) have begun to feel some affection for Fido, who shows a loyalty level that is quite rare in human flesh devouring creatures of any sort, and decide to protect him.

If you missed Fido in the theater (and almost everyone did. Maybe this was a stright to video release), then you should catch it on dvd if you have any interest in zombie comedy, or movies that spoof the 50s. Consider this to be two thirds Pleasantville crossed with one third Dawn of The Dead, and then decide if its for you. Bear in mind, that I didn’t expect to enjoy it and still did.

Director: Fred Savage

Starring: Cuba Gooding Jr., Paul Rae, Lochlyn Munroe, Richard Grant, Josh McLerren, Telise Galanis,

Eddie Murphy, in an astute career move, ducked the explosion of this bomb by not participating in the sequel to his Daddy Day Care project. Original director, Steve Carr, has also jumped ship and is replaced at the helm by Fred Savage of Wonder Years fame. This film is tired formula throughout, and lacks a good enough story to make it compelling, and enough working jokes to make it funny. All that’s left is a broken-down family dramedy.

Daddy Day Care champ, Charlie Hinton (Cuba Gooding Jr. this time) is off for the summer and is dropping his son off at summer camp, when instead of heading back to town for a summer of relaxation, he ends up taking over the camp with his partner, Phil (Paul Rae), and running it in direct competition with the rich camp next door, run by an old enemy, Lance (Lochlyn Munro). Lance is determined to humiliate his neighbors, so that he can buy the bankrupt camp. Guess what happens next.

Daddy Day Camp is a stale re-hash of a hundred family comedies before it and there will be a thousand more like it down the road. It might entertain the little ones for 85 minutes or so, but any expectations beyond that will be better served by a hike to the video store to rent Meatballs.

Director: Mark Helfrich

Starring: Dane Cook, Jessica Alba, Dan Fogler, Ellia English

As a reviewer, I try to watch a movie without preconceived notions. Being a mediocre reviewer at best however, I don’t always manage this. I started watching Good Luck Chuck, expecting it to suck (note the clever rhyme). I was wrong. It didn’t suck. It was worse than that.

The story starts out silly and tries to distract the viewer with more naked boobies than Friday night at a strip club. For humor, we are treated to an unending succession of sex jokes and slapstick accidents. There are a few laughs, but as the story gets worse so does Dane Cook’s performance. Alba looks great, of course, but her role is so empty, that there is little else to say. The last half of the film plays like some kind of offensive, creepy, stalker edition of SNL, and the script has as many laughs as a restraining order. Nope. That ain’t many.

Dane Cook is Charlie Logan, a dentist looking for love with the elementary school curse of an infatuated goth girl hanging over his head. And you thought you had romance problems? This curse manifests itself by having Chuck’s relationships fail, and all of his sex partners going onto find their true love right after being with him. When this urban legend gets out, Charlie gets more pussy thrown his way than a rock star at a nympho convention. While his best friend, Stu thinks that this is roughly on a par with being a deity of some sort, Chuck is not so sure, and is even more concerned when he meets Cam, a penguin-obsessed beauty (Jessica Alba), who steals his heart. Chuck now has to avoid sex with Cam, until he can find out if the curse is real. It’s around this point that the movie goes to pieces and made me consider using the dvd as part of some kind of movie wind chime so I could get some enjoyment out of it.

Good Luck Chuck offers plenty of model-quality topless women and humor that reminds me of a kid I knew in grade seven. All of his jokes were gross, or dirty, too. The difference is that his were funny sometimes. If you enjoyed movies like The Heartbreak Kid, and I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry, then this one is for you. If not, rent a playboy video for more breast views, and almost as many laughs.

Director: Joe Nussbaum

Starring: Amanda Bynes, Sara Paxton, Matt Long, Jack Carpenter, Jeremy Howard, Crystal Hunt, Adam Hendershott, Danny Strong, John Schneider

Take a slightly interesting story idea, apply a hastily written, and uneven screenplay, mix in film school quality direction and finish off with inconsistent acting from the lead, and you’ll have some idea of what to expect from this re-working of the Snow White story. The movie starts out terribly, but does pick up, and provide a few laughs for those who persevere, but, really, why bother? The dialog is often bad and this is the worse performance I’ve seen from child star, Amanda Bynes. The story is nonsensical, even for a comedy, and any enjoyment to be derived, will require that you do no thinking, whatsoever. It’s easiest if you’re asleep.

Amanda Bynes is title character, Sydney White, who lost her mother and was raised by her plumber Dad, played by John Schneider, before heading off to college to pledge for the same sorority as her mother. Unfortunately for Sydney, she finds herself on the wrong side of the stereotypical evil sorority leader, Rachel Witchburn (Sara Paxton). Poor Sydney finds herself cast out and soon is adopted by a group of geeks, and finds herself pitted against the evil fashion mannequin.

Sydney White starts out awful and does improve to become a re-telling of the Snow White fairy tale, complete with plenty of amusing, if far-fetched analogies. The end result is Snow White, crossed with Mean Girls and Revenge of the Nerds (more of the latter). There are a few decent jokes, but more better movie choices. Unless you are under 14, chronologically or emotionally, then i wouldn’t bother.

Director: David Wain

Starring: Adam Brody, Famke Janssen, Jessica Alba, Gretchen Mol, Oliver Platt, Paul Rudd, Winona Ryder, Ken Marino

Co-writer and director, David Wain gave us this TV quality comedy feature that is composed of ten different stories that are like un-rated SNL skits, with slightly better production values. The writing is imaginative and a lot of familiar faces put in appearances. The humor is uneven, nd will really depend on your taste.

Paul Rudd is filmmaker, Jeff Reigart, who is putting together a documentary looking at the Ten Commandments, with his bitchy wife, Gretchen (Famke Janssen) hounding him at every turn. Each of the commandments has a little ten minute skit, and they often relate to one another in some way. There is original and funny stuff in here, much of which gets pretty dirty.

The Ten will be enjoyed by SNL fans, who wonder what might be put on without censors. I enjoyed some of it, but still felt like I was watching TV. There are a lot of familiar faces putting in some strong performances and some of the stuff is funny, but is just not consistently strong enough for me to really enjoy it.

Director: Andy Fickman

Starring: Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, Madison Pettis, Kyra Sedgwick, Roselyn Sanchez, Morris Chestnut, Hayes MacArthur, Brian White

The wrestling Rock is back in the movie biz with this formula family film. The story is as simple as a Dr Seuss book, but more predictable. There are a couple chuckles and a couple sniffles. There is good energy, but the direction could have used more fire, particularly during the football scenes. The Rock does well in the gridiron dad role, and I think that he shows far more potential than the usual athlete/actor crossover guy. If only he could find a really good script….

Dwayne Johnson is Joe Kingman, a self-obsessed star quarterback with an ego that could nudge Donald Trump from the limelight. The Kingman’s moneyed, mad party world is tackled when an 8 year old girl (Madison Pettis), claiming to be his daughter shows up on his doorstep. The story takes a predictable line thorough cookie allergies, bedazzled footballs, and bubble bathes to the end zone, that you expected the whole time. There are some entertaining out takes during the end credits set to ’Hunk of Burning Love’that are worth watching.

The Game Plan is inoffensive light, familiar entertainment, that will probably hold most of its appeal for kids. Football-loving dads might prefer it over pony movies, but I can’t say much more than that.

Director: Jeffrey Ross

Starring: Jeffrey Ross, Drew Carey, Blake Clark, Kyle Dunnigan, Andres Fernandez, Larry Gelbart, Kathy Kinney, Rocky La Porte

This self-made documentary by comedian, Jerry Ross is part social commentary, part politically incorrect, but pretty funny, stand-up show and part look at the American soldiers serving in Iraq. There isn’t too much of a point here, just a look at life in the 138 degree Iraq desert from a comedian’s point of view.

So what happens when Jeffrey Ross, a self-confessed selfish, smart ass comedian drunkenly agrees to accompany and other comedians, on a Drew Carey led USO tour to Iraq. Ross starts off talking about the late, great Bob Hope’s tireless troop supporting activities, and continues referring back to his legacy, throughout the feature. Rather than a more traditional, informative documentary, this is really just a glimpse at the Iraq experience through his own experiences and through the words of other comics and the U.S. personnel.

Jeff Ross, joined by Drew Carey and others put on a decent show, but if you were looking for a Michael Moore-style politically charged attack on George Bush’s freedom-dismantling Patriot Act, then this is not what you are looking for. Patriot Act is somewhere around center/right in its view. It’s an entertaining enough, if you are so inclined, but i think there are better ways to spend 78 minutes.

Patriot Act – movie quotes:
Movie lines from Patriot Act
“You (Drew Carey) look like Buddy Holly and Barney Rubble had a baby and peed on it.”

“This is Operation Enduring His Act. The war didn’t last as long as his fucking show.”

“By the time we got to our third big show, we were all good pals; a giddy bunch of desert clowns. Drew Carey and his Iraq pack.”

Director: Jake Kasdan

Starring: John C. Reilly, Jenna Fischer, Raymond J. Barry, Margo Martindale, Kristen Wigg, David Krumholtz,

Comedy hit master, Judd Apatow (Knocked Up, 40 Year Old Virgin, etc) is back at is as producer/co-writer of this send up of musical bio pics. Co-writer/Director, Jake Kasdan (Lawrence Kasdan’s son) gets a crack at the big time, here and with the help of a great performance by John C. Reilly in the title role, of a very good screenplay, Kasdan comes out looking good. Things get silly, from time to time, as you would expect, and the surprising amount of male nudity comes off like a joke on the audience (Ha Ha, we got you to pay to look at more dicks than ladies night). This is a funny film, however.

John C. Reilly is Dewey Cox, a country boy who makes it big in the music biz, fast. And I mean really fast! His first single is at #1, 35 minutes after he recorded it. He manages all this with no sense of smell and painful memories of killing his brother with a machete, as a child. Yup, there are lots of spoofs of scenes and situations from Walk The Line and Ray. Along the way, he takes a child bride (You know, like Dennis Quaid did as Jerry Lee Lewis in Great Balls of Fire), played by Kristen Wiggwho is actually 34. That’s ok, though, because Reilly is 42 and plays himself as a 14 yr old, so it all works. This is all in the first half hour, so it’s safe to say that this film moves along pretty fast.

This is a good comedy that will send the Apatow fan brigade into spasms of laughter. Those who enjoyed Walk The Line and Ray, and feel like a good laugh, will probably enjoy it, as well. I also want to say that it is about damn time that the Partridge Family theme found its way into a major motion picture.

Director: Tim Burton

Starring: Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, Alan Rickman, Timothy Spall, Sacha Baron Cohen, Jayne Wisener, Ed Sanders

Stephen Sondheim’s Demon Barber of Fleet Street, has escaped Broadway, with Tim Burton’s help, and has landed on film critics’ lists all over the country. Burton’s style is stamped all over this visually splendid and atmospheric musical. The writing is grimly humorous and most of the dialog is delivered through rapid fire song lyrics. Depp is hypnotic as the butchering barber with Fleet Street’s fastest razors, and the rest of the cast is strong, as well.

Depp is Benjamin Barker, a happy young married barber, whose beautiful wife is coveted by the evil Judge Turbin (Alan Rickman). Barker is framed and sent to a penal colony. When he returns twenty years later, he meets Mrs. Lovett (Helena Bonham Carter), owner of the worst pie shop in London. She informs Barker that his wife has killed herself and that his daughter is now the ward of Turbin. Bent on revenge, Barker adopts the name of Sweeney Todd and plans to bring about the downfall of the judge and his goon/lackey, Beadle (Timothy Spall). Revenge is a dirty business, in general, but it rarely gets as dirty as it does here.

Dark humor, dark atmosphere, dark characters and dark story. Did I mention that it is dark? Think back to the Little Shop of Horrors for a similar genre comparison. Tim Burton fans will love it and Broadway musical fans will probably love it, too. Tim Burton knows his business, so if his tastes match up with yours, then this one is for you.