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Director: Seth Gordon

Starring: Vince Vaughn, Reese Witherspoon, Robert Duvall, Sissy Spacek, Jon Favreau

The holiday season is a time that perennially fills itself with movie releases. There are the giant blockbusters that usually only fulfill the bust part, the built for the Oscars group that have been held back until the fourth quarter so that people don’t forget about them when it is time to vote for the awards and of course their is the full slate of obligatory Christmas themed comedies that are usually horrible and are only moderately successful because they have the word Christmas in the title. This last group is how Tim Allen has fed his family for the last several years. They are usually not funny enough for any real laughs, to cheesy to digest easily, with an ending sweet enough to put you in an insulin coma. There have been some notable exceptions to these trappings like, The Santa Claus, Bad Santa, The Ref and others you can find in our list of the best Christmas movies of all time. Four Christmases fallss into the last category (Christmas themed Movies) but is good enough to make its way into your Christmas movie rotation.

Four Christmases is the story of a self centered, narcissistic yuppie couple (if you want to see the birth of these characters, pay attention to Clark Griswald’s neighbors in Christmas Vacation) Brad and Kate. They spend every Christmas holiday finding elaborate excuses to avoid spending the holidays with their dysfunctional families and take lavish vacations in Bali and Fiji. When their flight to Fiji is cancelled due to Bay area fog, they are ambushed by a reporter asking for their thoughts on the cancellations. This impromptu press conference, in spite of Brad’s best efforts to say nothing, is broadcast on live television. Their families see the footage and realize that Brad and Kate are not actually going to be inoculating impoverished children in Burma and demand that the couple visit. Their Christmas circuit of his mom, his dad, her mom and her dad, takes them on a whirlwind of misadventures but it also takes them on a journey of discovery where they start rethinking their relationship with their families and each other.

Four Christmases is one of the few holiday movies that successfully toes the line of tradition and irreverence. It has enough of a sweet message to make you want to call home when you are finished and enough good laughs to make it fun. Vince Vaughn delivers a great performance and displays the great delivery and comedic timing that has kept him busy since he jumped onto the scene in swingers. Both he and Reese Witherspoon always seem to find roles that allow them to just be themselves and it works. If you are looking for a fun night out with plenty of laughs that will get you in the holiday spirit, don’t miss this one.

Director: David Dobkin

Starring: Vince Vaughn, Paul Giamatti, Kevin Spacey, Kathy Bates, John Michael Higgins, Miranda Richardson, Rachel Weisz, Elizabeth Banks.

David Dobkin (Wedding Crashers and Shanghai Knights) drives this Vince Vaughn vehicle. The story has an interesting premise, but mediocre execution relies heavily upon Vince’s delievery of a non-stop parade of snappy, mostly nasty, and sometimes funny jokes. There is a strong supporting cast, but, while Bates has some decent lines, Paul Giamatti is underused and Spacey, who could have been given some deliciously funny and evil dialog, is left to languish in mediocrity as a cardboard character.

Vince Vaughn is Fred Claus, a bitter, self absorbed man with a famous Saint for a brother. Guess which one? That’s right. Jolly, old St. Nick. Try and compete with that! You’d be bitter, wouldn’t you? Okay well maybe not, but Fred is a pretty bitter. We get hints to this when we watch him blast out machine gun salvos of anti-Xmas venom, destroy lawn decorations and brawl with an army of Salvation Santas. Soon, however, poor Fred desperately needs money for bail, and stuff and is forced to end his estrangement from his famous family by contacting Santa (Paul Giamatti in a fat suit) and ask for the kind of gift that has several zeroes and fits neatly into a wallet. Unfortunately, Santa wasn’t born yesterday and tells his erstwhile sibling that to get anything, Fred will have to visit him at the North Pole and help out with the world’s only real Christmas rush. Once there, Fred is befriended by a romantically-smitten elf, played by a digitally reduced John Michael Higgins, but Santa has other visitors too. These include the Claus boys’ parents (featuring Kathy Bates as Mom, whom Fred has been ducking) and a Scrooge-like ‘efficiency expert’ with the power and personality to shut down Christmas. It all sounds funnier than it is and unfolds with all the imagination of a tax form. There is a great scene however, where Fred visits a support group for those struggling wih having famous siblings. It is loaded with cameos by siblings of celebrities playing themselves and is good for some belly laughs.

This is movie-making by the numbers and isn’t bad, but is aimed at, and limited in its real appeal to, official and unofficial Vince Vaughn fan club members. It’s coming at you for Christmas, but it ain’t no gift. Fred Claus has a few laughs, but as many surprises as the average Monday morning commute. If a movie is going to be such an obvious formula film, then it should be funnier than this. In the end, it’s little more than a pleasant distraction. That’s enough for some, but, as for me, I’d rather just watch Scrooged again.

Director: Paul Fieg

Starring: Charlie Goldfinch, Grace Conrad, Donna Malone, Spencer Davenport, Lewis Black, Wilmer Valderrama

I am a fun-loving guy. I like to laugh, hear jokes and stuff like that. This is why I often like to see a comedy – even if its bad, it will give me a chuckle or two. Even those aimed at younger viewers are always good for a giggle, or at least a guffaw. Well, not always, I guess. This Home Alone wannabe is as funny as blood on the sidewalk. It has poor acting, a yawner of a story, jokes that are not funny, and a fine selection of stock characters that have been so overused by Hollywood, that the whole movie is as appealling as a commercial that you have seen six times in the last hour. If I have been a little wordy, and unclear, up to this point, let me say succinctly. This movie sucks.

The premise here is that six youngsters, ranging in age from around seven to 14, are flying as unaccompanied minors, when a blizzard strands them at some airport somewhere, where they promptly set out on a mission of mischief that uses a lot of unfunny ideas and drab comic violence (particularly voice changing groin strikes – those are ALWAYS funny, right?) mixed in with toilet humor (Ingenious! Who would have thought of that?). There is an evil airport manager or something, who’s as pleasant as an evening alone with an electric cattle prod and a mentally, deranged convict named Sparky. Now, that’s not as fun as it sounds (never mind how I know!) bu it would probably still make a better movie than this one. I could go on, but I think I have made my point.

It starts bad and it gets worse. It’s not interesting and it’s not funny. The only possible positive aspect to watching this might be a new appreciation for the value of every moment of the precious gift called life.
Maniac out.

Director: Brett Ratner

Starring: Nicholas Cage, Tea Leoni, Don Cheadle, Jeremy Piven, Saul Rubinek, Josef Sommer, Makenzie Vega,

Family Man is a touching romantic comedy with a slightly Christmas setting. The story is cliched, but warm and thought provoking, as it looks at life from the perspective of the road not taken. The acting is very natural and the characters are endearing. The ending is good and helps to make this a strong feature, overall.

Nicholas Cage is Jack Campbell, a happy, hotshot, Wall Street, yuppie with a Ferrari and no shortage of beauties looking to spend time with him. One Christmas Eve, while on the way home to his swinging bachelor pad, he has a strange encounter with an apparent street tough, named Cash (Don Cheadle), who tells him he will be rewarded with a glimpse. Jack has no idea what that means until he suddenly finds his privileged life ripped away and replaced with an ordinary life as husband to his college sweetheart, Kate (Tea Leoni), and father to their two kids.

This is a predictable, Christmas romantic comedy about the choices we make and the choices we don’t, as well as the things in life that have real value. There are a few laughs and some very good performances, but mostly, this is a smiling-on-the-inside kind of film, that will probably make you want to go give your loved ones a hug. Go ahead. It’s ok. Give them a hug.

Director: Henry Selick

Starring: Chris Sarandon, Danny Elfman, Catherine O’Hara, William Hickey, Glenn Shadix, Paul Reubens, Ken Page.

Now, Tim Burton has more fans than the New York Rangers. I know this and I know that most of them love this clever, animated musical with a simple story set in a wonderfully, unique world. So, I guess Mr. Burton will be fine without my support. I didn’t like the dark, offbeat look of this film, nor did I enjoy the operatic, musical style and the childish, fable-style story did not hold my interest.

Jack Skellington, the King of Halloween Town, sets out on walk on one restless day and discovers Christmas Town. Enthralled and excited by this new idea, he sets out to create Christmas in Halloween Town. He finds supporters and resistors, but when he decides to have Santa Claus kidnapped to help his understanding of this special day, soon things get out of control and go to pieces on him.

I understand and appreciate that many people adore this effort as one of their favorite films, but I can’t share their opinions. Perhaps my sense of wonder and playful imaginativeness was beaten out of me as a child, but while, I recognize, and appreciate, the fine craftsmanship and creativity that went into making this much beloved feature, it holds no appeal for me. Now, please stop booing and throwing things.

Director: Terry Zwigoff

Starring: Billy Bob Thornton, Tony Cox, Brett Kelly, Lauren Graham, Lauren Tom, Bernie Mac, John Ritter.

Bad Santa (actually I watched the extended “Badder Santa” version) is a mean-spirited, but occasionally funny dark comedy that features decent writing and a good performance by Billy Bob Thornton as one of the least likable main characters to ever star in a comedy.
Not your average ‘golly-gee’ Christmas formula film, to be sure, but it has some funny moments and entertainment value.

Really, you know nothing says Christmas to me more than an inside job department store heist by Santa and his little person elf (Tony Cox). Billy Bob Thornton is Willie, and, after a soggy getaway, Santa goes south instead of north and is soon drunker than a frat boy on a Fort Lauderdale weekend. His debauched life of crime continues. Eventually, he meets a strange boy (Brett Kelly) and a pretty girl (Lauren Graham); not that this changes his impossibly bad attitude. However, this is a Christmas movie and maybe even a lowlife like Willie can find a little humanity. maybe.

Don’t put this one on expecting a typical, syrupy-sweet, ‘God-bless-us-everyone’ kind of Christmas movie. Still, there are some guilty, groan-like giggles here and a redeeming ending. Well, sort of.

Director: Richard Donner

Starring: Bill Murray, Karen Allen, John Forsythe, John Glover, Bobcat Goldthwait, David Johansen, Carol Kane, Robert Mitchum, Alfre Woodward,

This is one of the best Christmas movies ever made and my favorite version of version of the Dickens classic. There are great characters and a first rate cast lead by Bill Murray at his sarcastic best. He is backed up by Karen Allen, John Glover and the always funny Bobcat Goldthwait. The story is funny, and though it does get a little slapstick at times, it has a heart to go along with the laughs and builds to a classic Christmas kind of ending.

Bill Murray is a cruel and heartless network executive (Gee, aren’t they all?) whose busy life of making money and everyone around miserable, is interrupted by the visits of a number of ghosts to show him his past, present and future. Look for hilarious performances by David Johansen and Carol Kane as two of the ghosts. Along the way he clashes with an office rival, played by John Glover, and re-connects with an old flame (Karen Allen), before arriving at the inevitable ending, that is rewarding, nonetheless.

When it comes to the balance of humor, story and comfortable Christmas formula, movies don’t come much better than Scrooged. This is a wonderful movie in its own right and easily stands out among the legions of poorly written, syrupy yuletide efforts and is enjoyable no matter what time of year it is.

Director: John Whitesell

Starring: Danny DeVito, Matthew Broderick, Kristin Davis, Kristen Chenowith, Alia Shawkat, Dylan Blue, Sabrina Aldridge, Kelly Aldridge

I had hopes that this film was better than I had heard, since I like both Danny DeVito and Matthew Broderick, but even their talent cannot save this movie that has a script that must have come from a screenplay clearance bin. It is full of overdone slapstick humor and ridiculous situations that would be okay if they were funny. They aren’t.

Matthew Broderick is a Christmas-obsessed optometrist named Steve Finch, who is known is his little town as ‘The Christmas Guy’. That is, until a new neighbor movies in across the street. Buddy Hall, played by Danny DeVito, becomes fixated with making his Noel-decorated house visible from space. Both men’s families watch in frustration as the two men are drawn into, what is supposed to be, humorous conflict. Its bright, loud, and as funny as the average episode of 60 Minutes. No offence intended to Mike Wallace and crew. I like 60 minutes. Well, every dark cloud has a silver lining, I guess. The best I can offer here is the hot Aldridge twins (who doesn’t have at least a little thing for twins?) from 8th and Ocean, in small roles. Its not much, but its something.

Deck The Halls is one of the most disappointing holiday films that I have ever watched and this is yet another example of my selflessly watching the crap so you don’t have to. Unless this is shown on your flight on the way to Belize for a hot holiday, there is no reason you should have to put up with this.

Director: Jon Favreau

Starring: Will Ferrell, James Caan, Bob Newhart, Edward Asner, Mary Steenburgen, Zooey Deschanel

This is a fairly typical Will Ferrell feature; silly, over-the-top, but with a gentleness that can win over viewers by the end. The story is simple and is mostly motored by Ferrell’s acting like an oversized third grader experiencing modern NYC for the first time. The feature is helped along by the veteran talents of James Caan, Bob Newhart and Ed Asner.

Will Ferrell is Buddy. The orphan baby, Buddy, grows up as an Elf at The North Pole, but struggles as a full-sized human in an Elf world, and eventually leaves his adopted Elf father (played by Bob Newhart) to find his birth father in NYC. Life in the big city is a lot different than The North Pole, and Buddy struggles with escalators, perfume and pedestrian crossing rules before his finds his father played by James Caan. It all leads to a pleasing conclusion, as every Christmas movie should.

Will Ferrell fans will find this to be a wonderful festive addition to his body of work, but those who have not enjoyed his previous films are unlikely to be won over by this one. Still, as far as formulaic Christmas movies go, you could do worse, so unless Home Alone or Scrooged is on another channel, this one will do.

Director: John McTiernan

Starring: Bruce Willis, Reginald Veljohnson, Bonnie Bedelia, Alan Rickman, Paul Gleason, Alexander Gudunov

Die Hard (1988) ****

Director: John McTiernan

Starring: Bruce Willis, Reginald Veljohnson, Bonnie Bedelia, Alan Rickman, Paul Gleason, Alexander Gudunov

Die Hard was a watershed film for the action genre. Bruce Willis’ character stepped out from behind the boring, fighting machines being played by Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Shwarzenegger at the time, and gave us something new. John Mclane fires out almost as many one liners as bullets as he plays an ordinary New York cop, thrust into extraordinary circumstances. The film is a little dated now, with smoking in the airport, socially acceptable pregnant drinking, and lots of big hair. Thankfully, there are no leg warmers in sight and the 80s flashback moments are offset by the fantastic action scenes and some good supporting characters, especially Alan Rickman who shines as one cool villain. The film’s weak spot is tired caricatures of several characters, but this is still one of the best action movies of all time.

John Mclane is an NYC cop, visiting his wife and kids in LA, and he goes directly from the airport to his wife’s office Christmas Party at a giant new office building, Nakatomi Plaza. Something goes wrong between the eggnog and the covert office sex romps, however, and soon a group of slick European criminals have seized control of the building for their own reasons. Their carefully laid plans did not include having Mclane running around picking off their goons, stealing their equipment and insulting them on their own radios, unfortunately, and soon, things are not going as anyone planned.

This is a great movie, and one that changed how action movies have been since. If you have somehow missed this classic, thankfully it’s not too late. Pick it up, strap in and get ready for one wild ride.