Real Movie Review-Movie Reviews, Movie Quotes, Movie Trivia

Director: Doug Liman

Starring: Hayden Christensen, Samuel L. Jackson, Jamie Bell, Rachel Bilson, Michael Rooker,

Bourne Identity director, Doug Liman has not lost his touch for fast-paced, cool, action film-making and the proof is in this exciting adaptation of Steven Gould’s novel. Hayden Christensen has finally got a hit that doesn‘t involve slipping over to the dark side. The imaginative story is far-fetched, but as far as the action genre goes, its not too ridiculous, though the characters could have had more personality and development. My main issue with this film, however, is that we are being dragged, with a ring clamped on our noses, through a disturbing, commercially-driven sequel set-up. This, of course, leads to an ending that resolves nothing and left me feeling a little ripped off.

Hayden Christensen plays David Rice, who, as a teenager, finds himself able to teleport. Soon, he is using this somewhat unusual skill to live a luxurious, jet-set lifestyle (without the jet), that gives us some nice world tour shots, but into his sparkling lagoon of decadent tranquility, ripples soon appear in the guise of a stern, white-haired authority figure, Roland (Samuel L. Jackson). David’s worriless consequence-free existence is shattered, since, as Roland says, “There are always consequences”.

Jumpers is an entertaining action effort that will please the adrenaline junkies, and shouldn’t put off discerning fans more than one would expect from a movie based on teleportation. The whole thing reminded me of a lighter version of Interview With A Vampire, with its secret world of those with special powers and their enemies. Just be ready for its ending that sounds like a cash register that hasn’t yet finished ringing, and probably won’t until the cash from another two movies is in the bank.

Director: Xavier Gens

Starring: Timothy Olyphant, Dougray Scott, Olga Kurylenko, Robert Knepper, Ulrich Thomsen, Michael Offei

Little known director Xavier Gens joins the auspicious club of directors whose career has been reduced to movies based on video games. As far as that sorry film genre goes, this effort is not bad. It offers plenty of imaginative slo-mo action and is thankfully sparing with the handheld scenes. The graphic violence is framed by a minimal story that is a blatant Bourne rip-off, that runs out of steam before they fun out of film. The dialog and characters are standard fare for the genre and the overall result may please action fans and few others.

Timothy Olyphant plays a cranium-tattooed man of few words who has been raised with a number (47) instead of a name to become part of a lethal Hair Club For Men, each of whom is yet another perfectly trained killer, blah, blah, blah. You know the story. It’s nothing new or innovative. However, this time out, something goes wrong, when the man whose brains he has blown out, turns out to still be alive. This somehow leads to a bunch of people trying to kill poor number 47, while he tries to figure out why the man he killed isn’t dead. He meets a girl (they always meet a girl), who helps him figure things out, and find a little humanity, while he’s leaving dead bodies all over the place.

Hitman is a run of the mill action film, that is long on body count and short on substance. If you like these high-energy shoot-em ups, then you will still find this to be a pleasant, but unmemorable motion picture, but if you have seen all the Bournes and the latest Jason Statham release, then i guess you have to watch something.

Rambo (2008) *1/2
Director: Slyvester Stallone

Starring: Slyvester Stallone, Julie Benz, Matthew Marsden, Graham McTavish, Paul Schulze, Reynaldo Gallegos, Tim Kang, Jake La Botz

Rejoice Rambo fans, rejoice, for the man of few words and many bullets has returned in a 21st century style action movie, complete with the new action requisite of hand held camera scenes. This modern look is mixed with retro slow motion sequences and also features the God awful return of the 90’s bullet-eye angle (like the camera is is on the bullet). The action scenes are exciting, so it’s target audience will be unlikely to object to the canned dialog, utter lack of any interesting characters or even any stereotypical development of the cliched characters. Why bother with that? Instead, there is violence piled on top of violence and, in a new twist for the Rambo series, there is a disturbing level of sexual violence, though it is tastefully handled with little nudity (insert sarcastic chuckle here). The whole thing is written, directed, produced, and probably catered, by Sly, of course.

John Rambo is living a quiet life as some kind boat-driving, snake catcher in Thailand, when he is approached by a group of young missionaries off to do good in neighboring, war-ravaged Burma. When John is unable to use his monosyllabic skills of persuasion to dissuade the group from going to offer aid, he is charmed by the only female member of the group, Sarah (Julie Benz) into taking them in. It doesn’t take long for trouble to start and the body count begins before he gets them to their destination with only a minimum of mayhem. He leaves them there and returns to busy life. Soon, however, they are taken prisoner by a group of nonsensical somebodies who seem to have no goal beyond killing and raping everyone they find. John can’t let that happen. You can guess what happens next.

I knew this would happen. Now that these continuations to 80s blockbusters have begun, they won’t stop until we are rolling around on the box office floor crying and pounding the floor. I tried to do it before this one, but I need help, people! I’m only one man! Rambo is a low brain action feature, that also vomits out an offensive, condescending view of changing the world without violence as pointless, naive and impossible. They must be right. Humans have been fighting for forever, and that really seems to be working in keeping the violence level down. Ok, all kidding aside (for now, at least), this Stallone offering will please fans of Rambo 2 and 3. Younger action fans may like it, as well, but it does lack the familiar style of the current bullet operas. As for the rest of us, we can only lie in silent fear that the Indiana Jones entry into the Hollywood 80s revival festival is up next, but we can trust Ford, Lucas and Spielberg, can’t we?

Director: Matt Reeves

Starring: Lizzy Caplan, Jessica Lucas, T. J. Miller, Michael Stahl-David, Mike Vogel, Odette Yustman

Writer Drew Goddard, and director Matt Reeves, both of whom have mostly little screen resumes, have come up with what will certainly be the first water-cooler-talk movie of 2008. This ambitious, small budget, (by Tinsel town standards, anyway) film got rung up for around 30 million. These days 30 large (ok, really large) will barely get you an A-list star, and these guys made an entire monster movie with it! Hats off and some applause for them on that! But, what about the end result? Is this movie any good? Well, yes, it is pretty good as well. This is film-making in the true reality TV style. The entire movie is seen through the eyes of a video camera being carried by the characters and takes place in a 24 hour period. It starts slow, but when it picks up speed, it doesn’t slow down. The small cast all have TV backgrounds, except for Mike Vogel, and all were unknowns to me. They do a good job with a script that mostly calls for running and saying ‘Oh my God’ a lot. The characters are not well-developed and that is an area that could have been improved, but I don’t think Reeves wanted to slow down, once he got moving. The story is simple and incomplete, since we only know what the characters see and they don’t know what’s going on, either. The results are effective, and create a mood that is unlike virtually any film I have ever seen.

Rob (Michael Stahl-David) is enjoying his last day in New York with his friend, Beth (Odette Yustman) before heading off to work in Japan. Things move rapidly to an evening surprise party for him, put on by his brother, Jason (Mike Vogel), who is told by his gf Lily to video tape the festivities so Rob has something to take with him. Jason promptly passes the task off to their friend, Hud (T. J. Miller). The story spends longer at this party than needed and still doesn’t let us get to know the characters well enough, but things pick up when their building is rocked by something that feels like an earth tremor. The group takes to the streets where they are soon bombarded with the detached head of the Statue of Liberty. Hmm, that seems unusual. Soon, the small group is fleeing Manhattan (like everyone else, except for incoming military forces), only to try to return when Rob gets a call from Beth, who has been trapped in her apartment.

Cloverfield is packed with tension and has an original style that has really only been seen in the Blair Witch Project previously. Imagine Blair Witch turned into a monster movie with a lot more cash to spend, a far better script, and you will have a pretty good idea of what to expect here. If you have any emotional issues in seeing New York in an authentic state of panic, or have tendencies toward motion sickness, then this may not be the best choice for you, but, besides that, I recommend it if for no other reason, than being a movie that really is different. That is a rare sight, indeed…

Director: Steven Spielberg

Starring: Roy Scheider, Richard Dreyfuss, Robert Shaw, Lorraine Gray, Murray Hamilton

Jaws was the 70s phenomenon that turned little known director, Steven Spielberg into a star. It became a well-deserved box office smash on the strength of great characters and dialog, and Spielberg’s masterful creation of tension and suspense, broken from time to time by some congenial humor. The acting is uniformly strong, but the young Richard Dreyfuss and the grizzled veteran, Robert Shaw were particularly remarkable. The screenplay, written by Peter Benchley, who also wrote the best-selling novel, is very strong, though the ending gets a little far-fetched in the true Hollywood fashion

Roy Scheider is Martin Brody, the water-fearing small-town sheriff of the vacation community of Amity. Life as a lawman is pretty quiet, until a mangled body is found washed up on the beach. Soon, Amity seems to be offering a different kind of seafood buffet, and Brody struggles to handle the problem, while dealing with the Mayor (Murray Hamilton) and business people, who are clamoring to keep the issue quiet and considering an offer from a harsh local fisherman named Quint (Robert Shaw) to take care of their problem. With some help from a visiting oceanographer, Matt Hooper (Richard Dreyfuss), Brody comes to a decision.

Jaws has held up well as an excellent motion picture over the 30 years that have passed since its release. Younger viewers who haven’t seen it, will enjoy it today and those who have seen it before, will be reminded of how good it is, upon pulling it off the forgotten shelf once again.

Director: Tom Gries

Starring: Charles Bronson, Ben Johnson, Richard Crenna, Jill Ireland, Charles Durning, Ed lauter

Director Tom Gries, who also worked with Bronson to make Breakout (another pretty good film), does a fair job in turning this Alistair Maclean novel and screenplay into a pretty good western mystery. Bronson plays his usual appealingly cool steely eyed thinking man and is backed up by a strong supporting cast of familiar character actors, and of course, his on, and off, screen companion, Jill Ireland. The story, here, is a cut above the usual 70s action fare. The first two acts of this film are a pretty taut, and intriguing, classic mystery, though act three falls back onto some mediocre action.

Charles Bronson is John Deacon, an accused murderer who is captured by a rugged Marshall (Ben Johnson). The two of them mange to get on a medical supply and troop train that is also carrying the Governor (Richard Crenna) and the lovely Marica (Jill Ireland). Deacon’s journey to his own hanging, soon turns quite eventful, however, when people on the train start dying of non-natural causes. The classic setting of a moving train for a murder mystery, is perfect and there are some nice wilderness shots and some decent action worked in, as well. As mentioned above, the third action gets a little tired, but still not bad.

Breakheart Pass is a different kind of western and a different kind of mystery, so fans of both genres may find it worth renting, or staying up to catch on a late night feature. Bronson fans will like it, as well, but I imagine they have already seen it and I’m not telling them anything new. That seems like as good a point as any to wrap this up. I have to get going if I’m going to head them off at the pass…

Director: James Mangold

Starring: Russell Crowe, Christian Bale, Logan Lerman, Dallas Roberts, Ben Foster, Peter Fonda,

Well, I have never seen the original version of this film, but I trust it was more convincing than this. As a true western lover, I may have had expectations that were too high, but this movie didn’t manage to win me over. The action is very well done, particularly the early stage robbery, and the characters are initially good, though Crowe’s scripture-spouting evil superman-like outlaw leader never really rang true for me. This started out as a mild, nagging irritant that grew as the story unfolded. Crowe and Bale’s performances are very good, and Ben Foster is good as ‘Hand of God’ (Great name) gunslinger, Charlie Prince, though his character is never developed beyond the superficial level. The story starts out strong but gradually lost me until its ending turned ludicrous and had me looking around to see the reaction of the rest of the crowd, but they appeared to be surprisingly engrossed in the silliness on screen.

The story is about two men, the first of whom is Dan Evans (Christian Bale), whose ranch is being strangled by a greedy businessman. The second is an arrogant outlaw leader named Ben Wade, who Evans sees leading an attack on a heavily armed stagecoach. Shortly after, the stunningly reckless Wade is easily captured. A plan is hatched to move him to a nearby railroad town and send him to Yuma Penitentiary, but Wade’s gang presents a problem. Evans offers to join the transporting posse, in return for much-needed cash and the story is set. Some kind of Old West-style Stockholm Syndrome sets in and the rest….well, i don’t want to blow the rest, but be careful not to give it any sort of thought.

There is some excellent, and original (particularly impressive in this genre) action and this backed up by some interesting characters, but Crowe’s characters’ actions are so far-fetched, that the whole story collapses and will likely leave all, but the bullet-countng,action crowd unsatisfied.

Director: Michael Davis

Starring: Clive Owen, Paul Giamatti, Monica Bellucci, Stephen McHattie

I don’t usually like these balls-to-the-wall full speed action features, but writer/director Michael Davis manages to trump the genre in the same way that Planet Terror trumped the zombie zone. He overdoes everything, and uses zippy dialog, subtle humor, and exaggerated action direction, that drips with style, and is choreographed to a hot soundtrack to make it all work. The story is a bit tricky, but the dialog between Clive Owen and Paul Giamatti, (who plays one of the best villains of the year) is priceless.

Smith (Clive Owen), an angry, anti-establishment, anti-hero, is minding his own business, enjoying a cup of coffee and a carrot at a bus stop, when a pregnant woman staggers past him, soon followed by a big, rude a-hole with a gun and a bad attitude. Soon, the carrot is shoved through the bad guy’s head (Smith has more uses for carrots than DeBeers), and Smith is shooting it out with bad guys with one hand, and delivering a baby with the other. And all of this is in the first 7 minutes of the film. Smith ends up on the run with the baby and a heart-of-gold hooker (yup, another one of those), played by Monica Bellucci. On his tail, is Hertz, played with personality and humor by Paul Giamatti, and a battalion of thugs, who couldn’t hit the ground with water from a hose, in the true action tradition. They might as well as have just been dressed in body bags, but at least in this movie, an explanation (albeit lame), is offered for their incompetence – no matter, we are all about the exaggeration, here.

Michael Davis pulls out all of the stereotypes of the action genre, acknowledges them, and then takes them further than anyone else. This, and the delivery of great dialog by Owen and Giamatti, is what makes this movie entertaining. It won’t appeal to the anti-action crowd, but fans of junk like The Transporter, will love it, of course, but so will those who are normally bored by the monotonous repetition of poorly written action flicks. This one is fresh and has enough tongue in cheek humor to entertain many action bashers, as well.

Director: Paul Greengrass

Starring: Matt Damon, Julia Stiles, David Strathairn, Joan Allen, Scott Glen, Albert Finney

Bourne is back and in a far better film than number two. Paul Greengrass returns as director despite a disappointing effort in the last sequel, but is more effective this time out. The pace is still non-stop frantic and the movie may have been better served by letting the action slow down from time to time, as they did in the first Bourne. Greengrass’ action camera work still gets in too tight and the hand held camera is over used. Though this is not as distracting as it was in The Bourne Supremacy, it still detracts from many of the action scenes. But enough of the negative. The action here is good and the story is peppered with the high tech, Big-Brother-is-watching kind of surveillance and inter-agency intrigue that we have come to expect from the Bourne franchise, created by espionage writer, Robert Ludlum. Damon slips easily back into his familiar role and is even better in the action scenes. The story that doesn’t always make perfect sense, but it sure is exciting!

This time out, Bourne is once again the target of those in the agency who don’t feel safe with him out there. I wonder if they ever feel safe? Pamela Landy (Joan Allen) is back in the control room, along with Noah Vosen (David Strathairn) and Bourne is not their only problem. There is also a treasonous insider who is spilling agency dirty secrets to the media, so the team has a lot to look for. All of this is tied to Bourne and the hunt is on. Look for the veteran star, Albert Finney stealing practically every scene he has, in the small role of Bourne’s initial trainer.

I have to admit that I was so soured by The Bourne Supremacy that I was not sure what to expect from this film. I was pleasantly surprised. While still not quite at the level of the first in the series, this is a very good action movie that will please fans of the series and action lovers, in general. It gets three and one half stars from me.

Director: Philip G. Atwell

Starring: Jason Statham, Jet Li, John Lone, Devon Aoki, Luis Guzman, Saul Rubinek, Ryo Ishibashi, Sung Kang, Terry Chen,

War is a BS action flick, just like a thousand before it, and worst than most them. The job of taking this poorly written script that was probably written on the back of a cocktail napkin long after happy hour had vanished into an alcoholic haze. Seriously, the dialog is embarrassingly bad and the characters are cardboard cutouts that you’ve see in most of those previous 1,000 action movies and even the character actors blow lines like coke addicts at a Hollywood house party. Some of the action scenes are good, but there isn’t even enough of that to keep your mind off how bad the rest of this flick is.

Jason Statham is FBI agent, Jack Crawford, whose partner, Tom (John Lone) is killed by the mysterious assassin with the comic book name, Rogue (Jet Li). Jack’s life becomes consumed by his thirst for revenge. What a clever and original opening! Soon he is the middle of a gang war between the Yakuza and the Triads, most of whom seem unable to lay their hands on guns and fight randomly with clubs, like its 10,000 bc., or something. There is a pretty good sword fight and some other decent action, but not enough to make this one worth it. There isn’t much to say about the ending except that even most action fans hated it.

War is a waste of time for all but the most die hard (speaking of great action movies) Jet Li and action fans. Li has made a lot of better films than this and Jason Statham continues to be typecast in junky slo-mo action orgies after his promising start in Snatch. This like Face Off meets Black Rain, and if you liked those films (both of which were at least a little better than this), then this might be worth renting, but only if Shoot ‘em Up is not on the shelf.