Real Movie Review-Movie Reviews, Movie Quotes, Movie Trivia

The Karate Kid – movie quotes:

“Wax on. Wax off.” Obviously! – MMM

“Man who catch fly with chopstick accomplish anything.” – Ok, that could be, but he could still make better use of his time. – MMM

“We do not train to be merciful here. Mercy is for the weak. Here, in the streets, in competition: A man confronts you, he is the enemy. An enemy deserves no mercy.”

Movie lines from The Karate Kid

Director: John G. Avildsen

Starring: Ralph Macchio, Pat Morita, Elisabeth Shue, Martin Kove, William Zabka

Rocky director John Avildsen shows once again that he knows how to make audiences stand up and cheer, with this warm and charming screenplay by Robert Kamen, who would go to write such works as Gladiator and The Fifth Element. Memorable characters wonderfully portrayed have turned this gentle drama about a young man who learns life long values from a reluctant karate instructor into a classic. Macchio seems awkward with the physical aspects of his role, but this adds to his underdog persona, and there is some great, often imitated dialog (Wax on. Wax off, sound familiar?) and even some pretty cool martial arts scenes, all wrapped up in a believable story with some good 80’s tunes.

High Schooler Daniel Larusso (Macchio, who was 22 looking 17) has just moved to the land of sunshine from Newark, but meeting a cute girl, Ali (Elisabeth Shue) also gains him an enemy in her karate expert ex-boyfriend, Johnny (William Zabka) and all his Cobra Kai buddies. Life is rough for young Mr. Larusso until he is rescued by the elderly caretaker of his building, Mr. Miyagi (Pat Morita in a career role), who besides being pretty handy with bonsai trees, turns out to be a little Okinawan ninja too. Who knew? Soon Mr Miyagi is using old time training methods to prepare Daniel to stand up to the bullies at the upcoming All Valley Under 18 Karate Championship. Can he do it?

The Karate Kid and its immortal characters have become an often spoofed comedy target, and for two simple reasons. Its good and its as memorable a motion picture as any you are likely to see. It did spin off a series of deteriorating sequels that got worse and worse, but the first pic is first rate.It looks a little dated now, but with an excellent classic story and a stellar script, this one is still worth taking a shot at.

Redbelt – movie quotes:

“You train people to fight?”
“No, I train people to prevail.”

“There is always an escape.”

Movie lines from Redbelt

Director: David Mamet

Starring: Chiwetel Ejiofor, Alice Braga, Joe Mantegna, Emily Mortimer, Ricky Jay, Tim Allen

I love a good martial arts film. The problem with kick flicks is that it is so damn hard to find a good one and all too easy to find bad ones, which actually have an appeal all of their own, of course, but I still prefer a good one, so when twice Oscar nominated writer/director David Mamet made this mysterious motion picture about a martial arts instructor trying to keep his principals in a world that now relies mainly on the government to provide our morality, I was glad to see it. Ejiofor is subdued, but effective in the lead and Mamet‘s favored stiff, rhythmic dialog style for his performers is thankfully downplayed here. Mamet’s story is slow but engrossing and full of secrets and twists combined with bursts of pretty good fight action all leading to an appealing ending with equal parts of originality and corniness.

Chiwetel Ejiofor is Mike Terry, a skilled and traditional martial arts instructor with a struggling school and an exasperated wife, played by Alice Braga who wants Mike to use his skills as a professional mixed martial arts competitor. Things get more complicated after an incident at the school involving a cop student and a distraught female visitor. Next, Mike finds himself defending a movie star in a bar fight and the game is on. The tricky story is not always convincing, but it is always interesting. Look for lots of familiar faces, from Mamet’s posse of favored performers, and the fight world celebrities like Randy Couture to Hollywood personalities, including Tim Allen who has a supporting role as the aforementioned movie star.

David Mamet’s clever writing is always worth a watch and Red Belt is no exception. Kung fu fans will be glad to see the genre return to the big screen and those dragged along with them will be pleasantly surprised by a film with a great deal of interest and entertainment value.

Street Kings – movie quotes:
“you’ve got eyes like apostrophes, you dress white, talk black, and drive Jew. So how am I supposed to know what kind of zipper-head dog-munching dick you are if you don’t?” MMM – Ummm, am I excessively politically correct or is this pretty offensive to somebody?

Movie lines from Street Kings

Director: David Ayer

Starring: Keanu Reeves, Forest Whitaker, Chris Evans, Martha Higareda, Hugh Laurie, Cedric The Entertainer,

David Ayer, who wrote both Training Day and Dark Blue, is the director this time, for yet another film about police corruption. With an unconvincing script and Keanu Reeves and Chris Evans trying to carry roles like those handled by Denzel Washington and Ethan Hawke, this film was bound to be weaker…and it is. The plot starts out as rushed and convoluted, without proper character development, and becomes unraveled by the silly climax. There are some pretty good action scenes to keep you from thinking too much about the plot holes, however. That’s something.

Keanu Reeves is Tom Ludlow, a walking cliche. He is a smart-mouthed cop with an attitude and a drinking problem, hiding some past pain. Ludlow goes around finding particularly vile criminals (all minorities, but he tells us he isn’t racist) and killing them in shootouts that are then re-staged to look like good shoots, all with the backing of his boss, Jack Wander, and no one else. Internal affairs is a little curious about this and have turned his former partner into a snitch. The story gets silly when he is killed in a blatantly staged robbery while Tom is beside him. Instead of being relieved, Tom sets out to find the killers despite his own involvement and teams up with the investigator, Paul Diskant (Chris Evans from the Fantastic Four franchise). The action keeps up, but the ending lets down and should tell David Ayer he needs a new subject.

Street Kings is a bland cop buddy film that tries to fill plot holes with bullets, just as was done with Training Day, but with worse dialog and less compelling performers, this one goes down despite the hail of gunfire, leaving a corpse that will only interest die hard fans of the ailing cop/buddy genre.

Absence of Malice – movie quotes:
“Everyone in the room is smart. Everybody is just doing their job, and Teresa Perrone is dead. Who do I see about that?”

“Tell you what we’re gonna do. We’re gonna sit right here and talk about it. Now if you get tired of talking here, Mr. Marshal Elving Patrick there will hand you one of them subpoenas he’s got stuck down in his pocket and we’ll go downstairs and talk in front of the grand jury…”

“That’s true isn’t it?”
“No, but it’s accurate.”

Movie lines from Absence of Malice

Meet The Spartans – movie quotes:
“Stop kicking people into the pit of death! Honestly!” MMM – Unless your next kick gets rid of the makers of this bomb.

“Yo mamas so hairy, the only language she speaks is wookie!” MMM – the pinnacle of clever repartee – mama jokes.
Movie lines from Meet The Spartans

Director: Jason Friedberg, Aaron Seltzer

Starring: Sean Maguire, Carmen Electra, Kevin Sorbo, Ken Davitian, Diedrich Bado

Meet The Spartans (2008) *1/2

Director: Jason Friedberg, Aaron Seltzer

Starring: Sean Maguire, Carmen Electra, Kevin Sorbo, Ken Davitian, Diedrich Bado

The lords of the overdone spoof, writer/directors Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer are back at it. After such comedy classics as the Scary Movie series and all its offshoots (Epic Movie, Date Movie, etc.) these guys turned the action epic, 300 into a one-gag film with modern pop culture references appearing over and over again in the setting of ancient Sparta. Its’ funny once in awhile, but mostly it’s just wearisome

TV star Sean Maguire is Leonidas, the mucho leader of the Spartans who loves nothing more than kicking people into the Pit of Death, but unfortunately stopped before the makers of this mess stepped onscreen. The story follows 300 pretty closely, just tweaking it into the same joke over and over again, as it references Casino Royale (the groin torture scene of course), Happy Feet, Britney Spears (naturally), and Paris Hilton (another surprise). An overabundance of body fluid scenes do nothing to add to the appeal here, nor do the preponderance of gay jokes. I’d tell you how it ends, but I’ve already forgotten.

Meet the Spartans is poor, even by spoof standards, but juvenile-minded fans of Friedberg and Seltzer’s previous efforts will probably enjoy it, though the humor is weaker and replaced by more pop culture references and corporate product placement. It does offer one gift to movie reviewers such as myself, in that its ridiculously short 70 minute run time limited my suffering, though real fans may feel like they should get some of their money back. As for movie viewers who have missed these guys’ previous attempts at cinematic excellence, skip it and be glad you did, but I’m sure you didn’t need me to tell you that.

Director: Renny Harlin

Starring: Samuel L. Jackson, Ed Harris, Eva Mendes, Keke Palmer, Luis Guzman

Director Renny Harlin takes a shot at a cop conspiracy mystery, with mediocre results. The story is engaging but too familiar, and is filled with Hollywood stereotypes. Harlin shows some style with a dark film that could have used a distinctive setting, or more original characters to lift it out of a dusty, obscure spot on the video store shelf.

Samuel L. Jackson is Tom, an ex-cop struggling with past tragedy who now runs a death scene cleaning business, while raising his teenage daughter, played by Keke Palmer (Akeelah and the Bee). Soon, Tom finds himself embroiled in mysterious conspiracy of crooked cops.

The story of The Cleaner plays out like a weaker version of Mystic River or Gone Baby Gone, so fans of those films may find this acceptable as a rental choice, as long as their expectations are not too high.

The Cleaner – movie quotes:
“Most people don’t know this, but when someone dies in your house, and leaves a mess, it’s up to the family to clean it up.”
Movie lines from The Cleaner