Real Movie Review-Movie Reviews, Movie Quotes, Movie Trivia

I generally avoid movies that are getting as much buzz as this one. This is the movie they made with no money on a camcorder, I am sure you have heard of it. They have made like a zillion dollars now, no television trailers, let the viral rumble push it forward. Very intriguing and mysterious..I had to go, they got me, I should have known better.

This movie looks and feels like a documentary, sort of. It follows the main characters, a young couple Katie and Micah who are being bothered by an unseen entity that seems to have been following the female lead Katie around her whole life. The mocumentary takes place over 20+ days as they set up a video recording device to attempt to capture some of this “paranormal activity” on video and find out what is the cause of all of these frightening occurances.

Every ten years or so someone makes a movie with no budget and no studio that absolutely catches fire. By no budget, I am not talking about a 2 million dollar “low budget” indy. I am talking about a couple of people maxing out their credit cards to create their masterpiece. Clerks, The Blair Witch Project and Texas Chainsaw Massacre all immediately spring to mind. This movie definitely fall into this category. I know I am going to get hate mail for saying this but here it is, unlike the movies mentioned in the last sentence which were all very original, this movie completely stole the formula from Blair Witch. They have had 10 years to figure out how to stylize it so it looks smoother and they have better equipment, but it is a complete rip off. This movie has the luxury of the current, Saw VI, Twilight, Pirates of the Caribbean audience of lemmings who seem to be impressed with anything to push it forward. Lucky for them or they would never get those credit cards paid off.

Director: Gary Gray

Starring: Jamie Foxx, Gerard Butler, Colm Meany

The worst complaints I have about Law Abiding citizen are not the ridiculous plot or the tired, overdone evil genius character. The worst part of this project is that it has made alot of money and will encourage more crap to shoot out of Hollywood’s crap machine. Director Gary Gray has put out other weak action efforts like The Negotiator and The Italian Job remake where he wasted so much great talent that he should have been arrested for impersonating a filmmaker. Gerard Butler brings his considerable presence to the project and Foxx is solid enough.

Gerard Butler is Clyde Shelton, an ingenius inventor whose idyllic family-filled life is shattered when a couple of criminal misfits force their way into his home apparently for the main intention of killing everyone there and maybe grabbing a bit of jewellry. When they are caught, prosecutor nick Rice, played by Jamie Foxx, makes a plea bargain that allows the worst of the two criminals to be released in a mere ten years. It appears that Mr Shelton is a resourceful and patient man. He uses those then years to plan elaborate revenge on everyone he sees as being involved in this miscarriage of justice.

This film has found a following of non-discriminating viewers who will doubtlessly defend its glaring flaws with the “it’s only a movie” defense. It is only a movie. It is a bad movie that plays like Death Wish crossed with Saw. It’s unoriginal, over the top result is suitable viewing for fanas of the genre, but likely to be somewhere between nap-worthy and reactionary junk for others.

>Director: Peter Billingsley

Starring: Vince Vaughn, Jason Bateman, Faizon Love, Jon Favreau, Malin Akerman, Kristen Bell, Kristin Davis, Kali Hawk, Tasha Smith, Carlos Ponce, Peter Serafinowicz, Jean Reno

Really, the best thing I can say about Vince Vaughns newest comedy is that he has given us worse films. I just cant think of any right now, but Im sure he has. Minor actor Peter Billingsley is behind the camera here and underutilizes his magnificent location possibilities and never finds the right pacing for this film. Lets not be too hard on him though, because the script (credited to three writers - usually not a good sign) is about two or three re-writes short of a hit. There are too many characters, too few jokes and the result is a plodding work that never gets the viewer to care about the outcome.

The mighty Invincible Vaughn is playing Vince as usual, though his name is Dave this time out and he is the hub of a circle married friends that includes Jason, who is played by Jason Bateman. Can everyone follow that. Jason has come to the conclusion that his sputtering marriage can only be salvaged by a week at a beautiful couples retreat. The catch is he can only afford such an extravagance if he can get the whole group to go and secure a better rate. There is some contrived blah, blah, blah (thats ok, most films, esp comedies do this in the beginning, but it is pretty obvious here and not very funny. Once there the group is subjected to an anal retentive concierage (or whatever he is supposed to be), an overly amorous yoga instructor and a control-obsessed, mysterious relationship genius played by Jean Reno. The couples discover exactly what you think they will discover after alot of lukewarm sexual jokes and hot bikini usage.

Not much to offer here, beyond the obvious. Vaughn fans and particularly easy to please comedy fans will find this one worth renting. I found it to be worth nothing unless one is planning to finish their film studies thesis with a treatise on the most forgetable work of the worlds most mediocre film stars.

“We’re number two! We’re number two!”

“The last time I wore skates, they had Barbies on them.”

“We deserve better villains.”

Director: Drew Barrymore

Starring: Ellen Page, Marcia Gay Harden, Eve, Kristen Wigg, Drew Barrymore, Juliette Lewis, Jimmy Fallon, Landon Pigg, Daniel Stern,

Drew Barrymore’s feature directorial debut is a success! Well, sort of. Working with novel author Shauna Cross’ screenplay, Barrymore does manage to keep the energy level up an does a fantastic job of casting a talented cast of actors who both look and play the roles they are in. The story is unique (at least unique within the cookie cutter confines of Hollywood) and interesting. Ellen Page is as great to watch as ever and Jimmy Fallon steps in from time to time with some comic relief. Where Whip It loses its roll a little is with a story that dulls its edge too much and with the roller skating scenes that could have been punched up with bit more action.

Ellen Page is Bliss Cavender, a high school girl competing in beauty pageants to please her frustrated mother played by Marcia Gay Harden. Bliss needs something of her own, however, and finds it, with her friend’s Pash’s (Alia Shawkat) I-dare-you encouragement in the resurging world of roller derby, but her challenges are many. Can she evade her mother (and league rules) to play? Can she fit in with the raucous crew of boisterous women and, most of all, can she hold her own on the track where bigger, meaner opponents with names like Iron Maven (Juliette Lewis) are playing rough and hard? Let the credits roll. They are dotted with fun outtakes.

Whip it is a good film about women stepping out and doing things by themselves and for themselves. It’s flavour and feel are rather like “A League of Their Own”, but lacks the polish of the latter. It is still an enjoyable film. It’s a fun, upbeat film with a charismatic cast and an interesting subject.

“What makes you think you can just get out?”

Director: Alan Jacobs

Starring: Jessica Romero, Danny Glover, Kate Del Castillo, Emily Rios

I rolled into TO for the last weekend of the 2009 TIFF (Toronto Int’l Film Festival) and went on a whirlwind movie spree, seeing nine movies in two days. Some, like My Son, My Son What Ye Done, were god awful, pretentious art-house junk and others, like Jennifer’s Body, were pretty good, but head and shoulders above the other eight was Down For life. This gritty inner city drama, which is apparently a true story inspired by a New Times article, crackles with realism and the performers don’t seem to be acting at all, but simply living. The action scenes are jarring and seem a lot closer to Youtube than Hollywood, thanks to the skilled direction of little-known director, Alan Jacobs.

Jessica Romero, was cast right off the streets of East Central to play the lead role of Rascal, the streetwise leader of a small women’s wing of a Latino gang. The whole story takes place in a single chaotic day in her violence-filled life. Conflict both inside and outside the gang as well as in the home, on top of a looming deadline for entry to a summer writing program that might be an escape hatch to a better life. The crisp story moves along quickly and eventually takes us a scene so sudden and shocking that viewers seemed to jump back in their seats as one.

Down For Life is a current and raw film made in the vein of such inner city classics as Boyz n The Hood. It is an independent film and may be hard to find, but as the best film of 2009, thus far, it is well worth the effort.

Director: Michael Moore

Starring: Michael Moore

Michael Moore is back and using his well-known bombastic style to lambaste the capitalist system in general, and the Wall Street robber barons in particular. Moore’s main gripe this time out is the Washington 700 mil corporate bailout package. He talks about who got it, how they got it, what they did with it, and he has a few impressive points to make about it, though the film would have been better if it had focused a little more narrowly on that area instead of trying to pass judgement on the whole Capitalist system, which is better tackled in a 200 page thesis than a two hour movie..

Using his usual but always entertaining formula, Moore mixes humour with poignant stories of little people being crushed by the economic crisis, along with stories of the faceless grey system villains. Moore stays away from tackling many of these executives by name, perhaps because none of them talked to him or threatened endless legal action if he used any ambush interview footage. These leads to a drawback in this Moore effort. Perhaps as a victim of his own success, the only faces for these villains are those of hapless security guards and low level managers. The big guys know better than to even let him in the door and thus achieve everlasting celluloid infamy. At any rate, all of his leads to a slightly triumphant finish, again in accordance with his Moore formula style.

Not as funny as some of his past projects and a little light on the content, as well, but the Moore formula and style is in clear evidence. Fans will welcome his return and forgive any shortcomings, and those who are not fans, well, I don’t imagine that they will shell out their dough to see and hear the rants of a fat commie pinko anyway.

“Jennifer’s evil.”
“I know.”
“No. I mean, she’s actually evil. Not high school evil.”

“I thought you only murdered boys.”
“I go both ways.”

“You’re a terrible best friend. You stole my toys when we were little. You poured lemonade on my bed.”
“And now I’m eating your boyfriend. At least I’m consistent.”

“Hell is a teenaged girl.”

“Do you know how hard it is to make it as an indie band these days? There are so many of us, and we’re all so cute and it’s like if you don’t get on Letterman or some retarded soundtrack, you’re screwed, okay? Satan is our only hope.”

Director: Karyn Kusama

Starring: Megan Fox, Amanda Seyfried, Johnny Simmons, Adam Brody

I saw Jennifer’s Body in its third and final screening at the Toronto film festival and found it to be a pleasant surprise. This is a
comedy/horror in the vein of an American Werewolf in London, and this genre has more than its share of video store dust collectors. Two names give this one a shot of avoiding this fate.

One is Diablo Cody’s sparkling writing which though sometimes over the top, is interesting, amusing and at least makes us old geezers over 25, feel like we are in on the hippest new teen slang. Whether we are or not, how would I know? I haven’t spoken to a teen since the last time I got a 2am Big Mac at a drive through.

The other advantage Jennifer’s Body has is, well, Jennifer’s body. Hiring Transformers star, Megan Fox, has gotten this film a lot of attention and even more so when word got out on what a sexy role the sultry beauty would be playing. She looks good (pronounced in this case as goooooooood) and puts in a pretty solid performance besides. This girl may still have a future when she stops spouting off yawning filler dialog next to stupid alien warbots that somehow felt that they should earn some extra endorsement coin to cover travel costs by turning into the latest model year of cars sold on a planet 800 zillion years from where they’re from. Sorry. Guess I sprinted off onto a raving tangent for a second there.

Jennifer’s Body is the story of a couple of teenage friends. The applicably named everygirl is Needy (played by Amanda Seyfried), who finds herself torn between her sweet boyfriend, Chip (Johnny Simmons) and her hot, school ruling best friend, Jennifer Check sizzled up by the aforementioned Ms. Fox. The two friends head off to a local bar where Jennifer is hot to hook up with a visiting band. They both have a night of their lives, but not in a good way. All young women at this age are undergoing a lot of changes, but not usually as extreme as Jennifer who might also be some kind of bloodthirsty, short-skirted monster. Its up to Needy to figure out what’s going on.

With equal parts comedy, horror, gore and a little suspense mixed in, this film tries to do a lot, but never tries to take itself seriously, which in the end saves it from sinking into the crap pile. Some decent performers firing out Cody’s Juno-style dialog make this one worth catching.